DWTS Week 5: I'll Be There For You

Yet again I find myself posting a wee bit late, though this time I can actually say "wee bit late" rather than "oh, kind of, y'know, a week late or so...cough cough." The ballroom played host to only 8 couples this week (and now it's 7), so even though I also have the results show to address, I'll try to combine everything into one post this time around. And the couple that left us this week is...

• Florence & Corky. It's a bummer, because I really thought Florence was doing well and improving, and more importantly, she's dang fun and charming. Her tango on Monday wasn't too bad...the head-jerking was a bit awkward, and I tweeted that night that I felt it was a bit low on content, but it definitely wasn't elimination material. (In a departure from my usual attitude, I actually thought the "Brady Bunch" theme fit the tango well. At least it wasn't like some other musical choices Monday night...rantings to come.) There have been a few Internet rumblings that Florence was hurt by her innuendo-with-a-wink playfulness with Barry Williams, her former sitcom son and apparently my doppleganger (according to my family). Personally, I thought it was all in good fun (for the most part) myself. I've watched a few episodes of "The Brady Bunch" (Cindy staring at the camera...classic), and the show and its characters have a special place in my heart (except you, Fake Jan! OK, I have to admit I only learned about her evil ways from an excellent TV moments book I read... :) ), but I do have to admit I didn't grow up with the show, so I can't speak for all of you children of the 70s. Still, they're adults. She's 76 and he's 56. Give them a break. Anwyays, Florence, we'll miss you, and Corky...next partner you get (if you're lucky), actually give them some normal choreography!
• The rest of the results show: So far this season (and for most of last, if I remember right), DWTS has been pretty spot-on in picking their musical guests. Some of them have been "meh," but most of them have been fairly good/excellent. (Heck, even Daughtry & Santana surprised me with their live performance prowess.) Well, I might be in the minority here, but I think they have officially dropped the ball with Jason Derulo. His performances were...as I noted on Twitter rather bluntly..."pretty much a bunch of crap." He couldn't hack it on his live version of his own song ("In My Head"), sounding thin, out of breath, and even reverting to pre-recorded AutoTune for a little bit during the chorus. The dancing wasn't that great either. (Cliche coming in 3, 2, 1...Why is he popular? But really. Sad.) As for his cover of Ray Charles' classic "Georgia On My Mind"...no. Just no. Granted, although Ray recorded (without question) the definitive version, there have been many others that have done incredible justice to the song. But melisma-happy Mr. Derulo was not one of them. It made me die inside, pretty much. Thankfully, the other musical guest (who should have gotten two numbers instead...I bet she could have done better with "Georgia" than Jason did) was much, much, much better. Shakira was hot, spicy, and...I mean, she did a great job. Her live vocals were pretty impressive (after a little shakiness at the start).The dancing was...sexy amazing. Viva la Shakira!
• And because that bullet was getting too long...the fake commercials. Oh my. Loved the Bruno one (like I tweeted, Tiny Bruno would be immensely proud...do the naughty puma!), thought the "Easy Steps" one was 'meh' (though the Derek Hough being worth only $150 bit was priceless), and as for the David Hasselhoff "Hammer" one...no comment. :) And finally...the Mwano family...amazing. Their dance with the pros was terrific, and the whole story about how they bravely escaped the tragic hardships of the Congo, and how their mom didn't even know they were going to perform...wow. I definitely was very, very close to tears.

Now to the remaining couples...this is getting a bit long, ain't it? Oh well, we press on...

• Brandy & Maks (27/30, quickstep): Best dance of the night. Fast, fun, charming, great choreography, wonderfully executed. (And who knew the "Friends" theme song had more than one verse?!?) The judges made the right pick for their encore. As for the "Brandy/Maks hate each other" issue...I still honestly think they don't. Sure, they have tension in rehearsal, but pretty much every couple does. I think that one week where Brandy made the controversial "the solo was his idea!" comment, and they were fighting in rehearsal (coupled with the bottom-slapping from last week) spiraled into a "look, they're fighting! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" situation, where everyone (the media, the producers, fans of the show) jumped to brand them as bitter enemies. I think the sweet, charming, adorable relationship they showed in their quickstep on Monday was proof that that's not the case...and not just because Maks and Brandy are great at acting or something. They really are friends, and although they fight and argue (hello, it's Maks...since when has that ever not happened with him?), I believe things between them are ultimately all good.
• Kurt & Anna (24/30, quickstep): This week was the battle of "Bewitched" vs. Belka and Strelka...and "Bewitched" apparently won. (Though Belka and Strelka, as I learned from Wikipedia, were the first Earth-born dogs, or animals of any kind, to come back from a space mission alive. Yay!) The American-Russian culture clash between Kurt & Anna was fun, and Anna ended up actually having an impressive Samantha nose-wiggle. It was a delightful, energetic quickstep (I loved the 'magic' effects), and Kurt seemed pretty light on his feet and on top of things. His best dance so far? I would dare say yes.
• Audrina & Tony (23/30, rumba): What to do about Audrina? I'm definitely of the opinion that she's still a contender for the finals (her waltz & quickstep earlier in the season were excellent), but this week's rumba was a bit sleepy and continued to show weaknesses in her performance quality. Granted, they did have to do it to a not very rumba-friendly song (Natasha Bedingfield's lovely but ubiquitous hit "Unwritten"), and as we found out on Tuesday night, the band had a slip-up. But aside from that, it wasn't a very romantic/exciting rumba. Worrying signs that Audrina needs to step it up stylistically...but I maintain my position that I think she could take it all the way, if she brings her A-game in all aspects. (And stays away from eating any raw onions. :D)
• Kyle & Lacey (20/30, foxtrot): Well, the good news about Kyle this week is that we learned that if they're casting a "Charlie's Angels" reboot, they need look no further than Lacey, Kym, and Chelsie. (I would watch that show in a heartbeat. :) ) The bad news? Oh, a little something called the dance. The producers continued their streak of giving out simply crazy foxtrot songs (besides Jennifer & Derek below, Kurt & Anna have been the only couple this season to receive an actual foxtrot-friendly number...and it was "Bad Day," of all things...), and dealt Kyle & Lacey a doozy with the aforementioned "Angels" theme song. It kind of worked, but it was also kind of a complete mess. I'm kind of torn, though, on how to react to the judges...they definitely should have realized that it was a theme night, and that given the musical choice Lacey couldn't really choreograph much of a traditional foxtrot. However, they did bring up some fair points about Kyle's technique. And like Len, I wasn't really too much a fan of the dance. Although 20 was an incredibly low score, it didn't quite seem unfair to me...a sign that Kyle really needs to improve and polish his dancing.
• Rick & Cheryl (24/30, rumba): I sheepishly admit I didn't know which show this theme song came from until later ("Hill Street Blues"? OK...), but that aside, Rick did a very good job Monday night. His rumba was fairly romantic, smooth, and Cheryl did a great job of choreographing around the theme, but also keeping it firmly in the "rumba" category. It was well-danced, well-played, and I really liked it. Rick is back on track to go further in the competition, I think.
• Bristol & Mark (18/30, jive): Let's start this off with my Twitter thoughts after the dance, since I think they describe my feelings pretty concisely: "Fun start with the monkey suits for Bristol, it lost a bit of steam in the middle, but a terrific finish, I thought." The monkey-suit beginning kind of reminded me of the Jabbawockeez-inspired beginning of Shawn and Mark's terrific freestyle in season 8...in that they started off in fun costumes and had to hurriedly shed them a little bit into the dance. Sadly, on second watch, Bristol wasn't as nimble in her monkey suit as Shawn was in her costume...and the middle of the dance flatlined, and was kind of a mess. However, I thought she really pulled it together in the last third of the number, with a good amount of energy and movement (though I can see the viewpoint that the judges held, that she was a bit off the beat). That said...I like Bristol. I think she has great potential as a dancer. Still, her being announced as safe right off the bat last night was kind of a shocker (she had the lowest score of the night and isn't that beloved by what I've seen, after all), and I can't help feeling it should have been her going home. Hopefully she can rebound next week, but if not, next Tuesday night will probably be the date of her departure.
• Jennifer & Derek (25/30, foxtrot): Partly due to the fact that they actually got a proper foxtrot song (Frank Sinatra's jaunty "Love and Marriage"), unlike 90% of the couples this season (darn producers!), I really liked this performance. The 50s/TV theme was well-incorporated, and it was precise, fun, and charming. So where were the judges' tepid scores coming from? It was a fine dance, without any discernible shortcomings, and while a 10 might have been stretching it, it was definitely worthy of at least a 9. Jennifer and Derek's rehearsal blowout on the other hand? Ouch. That was not fun to watch. Let's hope that kind of fighting stays out of their future on-camera footage, or this couple could lose a great deal of viewer support.

So there you have it. Week 5 of "Dancing With The Stars" (spoken by the trusty "disembodied British voice," Alan Dedicoat :) )! I'll hopefully be back later this week with some best-dances-of-all-time posting (sadly, I no longer have the 30 dances the producers picked for reference, but I can get by otherwise), and, as I always mean to, some long-overdue "American Idol" Top 12 profile action. For now, enjoy your week, and viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 4 (In A Nutshell): Somebody To Love

Hey, remember the good old days of this blog when I was at BYU, and I could barely catch DWTS live, much less find time to recap it? Well, this week wasn't like that. But somehow, last week's recaps (for both the results and the performance night) have ended up being jumbled into one lightning-quick post that I'm starting about 10 minutes before Week 5 performance night starts. (TV themes! Wonder how it will turn out...) Without any further ado, let's jump (quickly) in.

• The Situation & Karina are gone, thank heavens. His Argentine tango last week was ghastly, and the small round stage (which I liked, but agreed kind of threw the contestants for a loop for the most part, and not in a very good way) only highlighted his lack of dancing skills & technique. Painful to watch (my mom, who I accidentally over-referenced in my tweets from that night because she was watching DWTS with me for the first time in quite a while, inexplicably liked his futuristic Week 3 'foxtrot,' but agreed Week 4 for him was crap), painful to listen to The Situation talk about afterwards, and the opposite of painful to see an elimination result from. :)
• So what about everyone else? Jennifer & Derek really stood out last week. I really loved her routine, from the cool piano-plunking start (thought Len would call it "messing about," but thankfully he didn't), to the incredible footwork all throughout the dance. Her and Derek utilized the stage beautifully, and I have to admit even though I refrained from voting for Jennifer during Weeks 1-3, and I'm still firmly in the "don't crown her the winner yet, you fools!" camp, hers is the only routine I truly fell in love with, and can still remember, from last week. Y'alls better step up, other 8 people still in the competition...
• Quick, like a bunny...Kurt was underscored, I thought; Brandy was excellent but not quite captivating and her routine wasn't quite all there; Rick's height didn't work well for him and the small stage, it was a bit clunky; Kyle was, as I said on Twitter that night, "kind of hit and miss"; Florence and Corky's rehearsal was one of the funniest I've ever seen, but the dance was perplexing and wacky; Bristol needs to step it up or she's going home incredibly soon (though I think she slightly improved Week 4 over Week 3); and Audrina's Argentine tango wasn't as impressive as her waltz.
• Some results show comments (actually, just one): Florence + The Machine! Heck to the yes. :)

And that's a wrap! My recap for Week 5 to come tonight or tomorrow morning, I promise. For now...viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 3 Results: Rainbow Disconnection

This week I'm back with a full results-show recap. I was able to watch the entire hour once again this week, and it was an interesting little creature. The highs, the lows...let's dive into them right now, starting with the hardest part...the elimination.

• The Elimination: I could rant on and on (well, maybe not that much, but pretty close) about Margaret Cho meeting an untimely end in the competition tonight. But I won't. Hopefully. What I will say: This is the first elimination of the season that hurt (David Hasselhoff was subpar and washed-up, Michael Bolton was likable but very bad at dancing, and ultimately couldn't take criticism). Margaret deserved better scores her last two dances. She shouldn't have gone home. And...biggest of all...why is The Situation still in the game?!?!? Yes, I know I said last night that his 'foxtrot' was his best dance of the competition. Yes, I know it got a 20. (Still don't think it deserved that, but oh well.) Yes, I know this is a televised competition involving 12 (well, now down to 9) people who make lots of money and are still probably very happy. So really...it's not that big of a deal that a reality star from Jersey who likes to act cocky and show his abs still gets to dance next week, even though he's nowhere near that good. But honestly, his dance from last night (which inexplicably got the encore) was even worse tonight. His on-screen persona is grating. His last two dances were fairly ghastly as well. For the love of Master P, America, send this clown home already!
• The Music: Well, perhaps I did end up ranting a bit. It happens sometimes. :) Anyways...the music was fairly good tonight. Ne-Yo's rap intro to his song was ponderous, but after that, things really kicked off. The most amazing thing I've ever seen/heard? Well, no. But good vocals, a fun story (he must have got the memo that it's Story Week!), and some classy dancing. (Dare I bring out the "he should be a contestant!" phrase? Eh, probably not. That would be nice, though.) And he even ended his performance by going down the path out of the studio! That was an unexpected twist. (Another unexpected...well, sort of...twist: Him lowering his mic to chase after his woman [AKA the indifferent dancer character], revealing that his singing may not have been entirely live. Oops!) As for Michael Bolton...I've never been a fan of his singing. I probably never will be a fan of his singing. And I have to admit the beginning of his rendition of "Hallelujah" (the Leonard Cohen chestnut that presumably Susan Boyle was indeed going to sing had she not bowed out, seeing as it's on her upcoming album, she does it with a children's choir, and I'm sure the dance had already been choreographed for it so Michael couldn't sing a song of his own instead) had me wishing he was doing his "worst jive in 11 seasons" instead. But he worked it out. It turned from overwrought to well-sung, from loud and shouty to pleasant and tender. And, of course, the fact that it was accompanied by a fog machine (always helpful to set the mood), the aforementioned children's choir (yay for young children with melodious harmonies!), and a simply gorgeous, tender routine by married couple Jonathan & Anna, didn't hurt. :)
• The Rest: Oh, Donny Osmond. First you appear in that ridiculous Mickey Mouse dancing commercial ("Mickey, you're making me look bad!" I don't think it's the mouse's fault, Donny...), then DWTS invites you back for a cheesy on-the-street segment. Well, it was fun. ("I wouldn't say no to Rick Fox..." by the woman who had just gotten married on Saturday was particularly chuckle-inducing.) That's all we can ask. And then there was the music/dance battle between Mark Ballas & Maks' incredibly similar-looking brother, Val Chmerkovskiy. (Dang it, I had to spell that last name again!) Val had his moment to shine on the violin, and then Mark stood out at the end with some fairly excellent electric guitar shredding. (I couldn't really hear his acoustic too much once the band came in, but it was great at the start.) And there was some excellent dancing, all of it to the one Britney Spears song I actually like (seriously, it's on my iPod), "Toxic." (I blame the strings.) Who won the battle? I was about to say Mark...but then he made some absolutely awkward faces during his electric guitar solo at the end. So maybe not him, in that case. :) At any rate, I was kind of distracted during this part, because it's been stormy all day, and the thunder/rain were going particularly crazy while Val and Mark battled it out.

So...there you have it. Week 3 of DWTS is officially over. Next week is a special Acoustic Week with an in-the-round setup (I can't wait to see how this plays out, it looks pretty dang cool), and according to a comment by Tom tonight, the following two weeks after that will also be newfangled theme weeks. So the next little while should be rather interesting. For now, I'll see you next week (or probably earlier, so I can do my promised Top 10 dances post and my long-delayed Idol finalists project). Viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 3, Part 2: Put It In A Love Song

Random side note before I start Part 2 of this recap: This week I caught most of the opening-week dances of Series 8 of "Strictly Come Dancing" (as in the original UK version of "Dancing With The Stars") on YouTube (thank goodness, because BBC won't let me access any of its videos...it's like I don't live in Britain or something). It was rather interesting. I enjoyed it. The 4-person judging panel they have there actually works pretty well (Craig Revel Horwood's a complete and utter brat that I'm sure all the Brits love to hate, Len's the same tough yet softie-prone curmudgeon he is here, Alesha Dixon is the nice, sweet, young judge, and Bruno is...Bruno. :) ), Bruce Forsyth proves as quick-witted a host as Tom (and at the age of 82!!), Tess Daly is a much more lively backstage hostess than Brooke Burke (and Samantha Harris, while we're at it), and even though I was intimately familiar with maybe 1 or 2 of the competitors, it was fun to watch. Anyways, just wanted to bring that up. Hopefully I can keep up with it. Now, on to the show at hand...

• Bristol & Mark (19/30, foxtrot): After making excellent progress last week with a fine quickstep that scored a respectable 22 with the judges, Bristol seemed to kind of move backward this week. Part of the reason her foxtrot didn't go so well was purely the fact that she still needs to work on the stylistic/acting portion of effective dancing. Tonight, while she was nowhere near the robotic horror that was her appearance on "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" (sorry I keep referencing it, but it's actually relevant for once in this case), her expressions and storytelling skills fell a bit flat. But beyond that...I feel tonight the producers really let her and Mark down with their song choice. "Just The Way You Are" (the Bruno Mars one) is a pretty song (after a friend's coaxing and my own change of heart, I now have it on my iPod), but it simply did not lend itself well at all to the foxtrot. Mark clearly was desperate this week choreography-wise, and it showed...the dance felt plodding and overly simple. In past seasons, I've seen the havoc weird song choices can wreak on even the best of dancers, and I'm afraid that happened tonight. I fear Bristol may be in or near the Bottom 2 tomorrow night, not just because of a subpar dance, but also because the producers have put staying culturally relevant (in this case) over giving their celebrities and pros good material to work with.
• Brandy & Maks (24/30, samba): It's nice to see Brandy & Maks near the top (after last week's detour into "se-VEN!" land), and tonight's samba was pretty darn excellent. I really liked the 'bodyguard/singer' story they told (the way it came full-circle at the end with Maks looking about and Brandy coaxing him through dance into love was very nice), and the dancing was of a high caliber. The judges seemed to feel the same way...but Len's short rant on how he disapproves of Maks' tough teaching approach was a bit odd. First, I can't believe that it would have taken this long for Mr. Goodman to notice that Maks isn't the gentlest dance instructor in the world (I know the man judges two simultaneously airing dance competitions of the same format on two continents twice a year, but still...). Has he been paying attention to any of Maks' rehearsal footage since he first joined the show 9 seasons ago? :) On a more serious note, though, I don't think I've ever seen a judge call a pro out as much as Len did tonight, and I'm not sure I liked it. Sure, Maks slapping Brandy on the posterior was a bit awkward, but it's not something to go off about. Anyways, Brandy danced very well tonight, her and Maks seem to have a good partnership (yes, they argue, but they also play well off each other). So let's give Maks a break, and move on with the dancing.
• Kyle & Lacey (23/30, waltz): The rehearsal footage yielded some notable moments...I found it interesting how Kyle & Lacey got to change their song, first off. I didn't know that was allowed...I guess since they didn't get to pick the replacement, it's still kosher, but it still seemed odd. (And who the heck hasn't heard of the Eagles? I'm younger than both Kyle and Lacey, and I'm still fairly familiar with their work. Then again, I've heard "Desperado" constantly since childhood [though mostly through the Clint Black cover that plays on my local country radio station all the time], "Take It Easy" mentions a town in my state, and my Calculus teacher played "Take It To The Limit" during a "Limit Party" we had my senior year. :) ) Of course, the fact that it was Landon Pigg's simply lovely "Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop" helped put me at ease. Anyways, another notable moment was Kyle making out with himself awkwardly. (Had to mention that moment. :) ) As for the dancing...it was a charming waltz, and I thought Kyle did very well. (As for Lacey, as I noted in one of my tweets, she looked "like she's working at Hooters rather than a coffee shop"...didn't she used to, y'know, wear clothes??) Carrie Ann (I know I keep coming back to her, but I guess her comments were the most memorably concise or something) pointed out, correctly, that Kyle's footwork needs a bit of improvement. (OK, so did Len, but he was a bit too harsh in his assessment that it was "nonexistent.") Once Kyle gets that ironed out, he (still) has nowhere to go but up. And up from a 23 is a very good place to be in "DWTS" land.
• The Situation & Karina (20/30, foxtrot): The producers dealt another doozy of a number for a foxtrot here. "Boom Boom Pow"? Really with Seth & Amy?? Karina even noted this in rehearsal, in fact. Well, the dismal song choice notwithstanding (it really did force Karina to be a bit creative, and not necessarily in a good way, with her choreography), I think tonight's dance was The Situation's best of the competition so far. I could even spot portions of the dance that were actually foxtrot-esque. But...he's still not quite up to par, by any means. It felt way too generous of the judges to hand him a collective 20 (seeing him break into the 20s while Margaret lingers at 18 feels a bit dirty, in fact), and his personality still grates beyond belief. (Though his newfound commitment to rehearsal this week was very admirable. A lazy Master P-type character, he is not.) Sure, it might be pleasant in a way to give him another week or two to surprise us, but really, I think it's clear at this point that it's probably best to let The Situation go.
• Rick & Cheryl (24/30, samba): This samba was kind of hit-and-miss with me. I still like Rick...he's fun, his dancing is good, and he hasn't started to grate on me as a viewer yet. But I wasn't quite enamored with his dance tonight...maybe it was the open shirt (sorry, but as the president of the potentially imaginary Anti-Heartthrob League, as you know I cannot condone such nonsense), but it seemed not quite all there, a bit inconsistent. Cheryl dancing on the table was quite spicy (sorry, but it was :) ), and Rick got some really good hip action into the mix, but it needed a bit more polish and flow. Maybe it's just me...anyways, Rick did well tonight, and although it wasn't the best, he still continues to earn his keep in the competition.

And, to close, I'm going to organize my usual "let's divide up the dancers" thing a little differently this week. I'm going to base it on the dances, rather than the people...mostly. Let's see how this goes:

My Favorite Dances Tonight: Margaret's spunky samba, Audrina's incredibly impressive waltz, Florence's sweet waltz, Brandy's excellent samba, and Kurt's classy foxtrot.

Honorable Mentions: Rick's fairly good samba, Kyle's charming foxtrot, Jennifer's teacher-ific samba, and Bristol's OK foxtrot.

The Bottom Two Should Be: The Situation's subpar foxtrot, and since we do need another member...I hate to say it, but Bristol should probably round out the Bottom 2 (if they actually have one this week). The one that should go home, however, is definitely The Situation.

See you tomorrow for the results show! Interesting (and ironic) how Michael Bolton will be stepping in for Susan Boyle...will he sing an angry number to Bruno about how hurt he still is by his harsh comments? Hopefully not. But that would be kind of fun...in a bizarre way. :) Anyways, for now...viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 3, Part 1: A Little Respect

Twas a fun episode of "Dancing With The Stars" tonight. It was Story Week, and thus every dance had to tell a tale. Some of them were more engaging than others, obviously...let's jump right in and talk about just how they all played out.

• Jennifer & Derek (24/30, samba): Jennifer just keeps continuing to impress. Well...mostly. I thought tonight's samba was loads of fun, and pretty well-danced, but was a bit of a step back from last week. Her Week 2 jive was fast, furious, and impeccable in the footwork department...whereas this week was the first two for the most part, but lacked a bit in its precision. Normally I wouldn't be quibbling about how clean the steps were (well, not as a condition of how much I liked the dance), but Jennifer has proven to be an excellent dancer so far. With this being her third consecutive score of 24 so far in the competition (though I agree with the booing audience last week that the judges lowballed her with three 8s for her jive then), she's got to show a bit more growth, or she may end up flatlining competitively. Still, she's kept her place as a main contender for the finals, and as we learned from her 'teacher look' tonight, she looks especially attractive in glasses. Also, she and Derek have proven to be masters at spicing up the portion of the show where the judges' critiques occur...after laying/sitting on the floor last week with Tom, and re-doing a portion of their samba this week, I'm excited to see what weird hijinks happen next. (But no fainting. :) )
• Florence & Corky (20/30, waltz): Tender moments alert! Florence talking about her late husband and how she was (sort of) dedicating this dance to him was incredibly sweet. (The fact that this happened with a beloved 76-year-old entertainer who I've never seen cry, as opposed to a 20-something starlet who weeps every five seconds probably helped...) Her waltz tonight was classy and nice (like "Edelweiss"...mostly just wanted to rhyme there, but I also do really love that song), but it felt a bit slow. Carrie Ann was very astute in pointing out that Florence needs to work a bit on keeping her motions and dancing smooth and flowing...it wasn't quite clunky, but it wasn't quite legato (if you'll forgive me inserting a musical term here :) ) either. Florence should be safe this week, but she'll need a good amount of voting power (I have a feeling she has a strong fanbase) to make sure she sails through. (A thing I noticed while looking at her 3 scores so far...each week's she improved by 1 point. Hopefully that momentum picks up a little bit, yes?)
• Kurt & Anna (23/30, foxtrot): After we saw what resembled a charming audition for "The Game Plan" (AKA the surreal image of a former NFL football player wearing a tiara and having a tea party with his daughters), Kurt danced a pretty nice foxtrot. It was a bit awkward at times (another astute moment from Carrie Ann...his arms were kind of all over the place), but it was fun (how the heck did they do the rain effect?? Could the audience see it, or was it just a TV thing? Am I a dork for not knowing this?), pleasant to watch, and even a bit retro (in a good way). (It also ended up being the last more traditional foxtrot of the night, as the producers dealt both Bristol and The Situation some decidedly un-foxtrot-y music that put their partners in a bind. More on that later...) Kurt doesn't quite scream to me "best dancer ever!" or anything yet, but I really like him, he's still incredibly charming, and he's making good progress. What more can you ask?
• Margaret & Louis (18/30, samba): And yet again Margaret can't get no respect (sorry for the bad grammar, I was trying to be a bit random there... :) ) from the judges. For the second week in a row, she gave a good show, but was slapped with straight 6s from the judges. I thought her samba was very good--it was flashy, it didn't play the humor angle up too much (as in it was fun, but it didn't veer into caricature), and Margaret certainly brought her dancing skills. (It did lose a bit of steam as the dance went on, though...the first half definitely packed more punch than the second half.) Although I agree with the judges that she lost a bit of control as the dance progressed, I would definitely given this a 7, at least...but perhaps because of the crazy costumes (a large headdress? Nice. The particular color scheme used? Hmmm...) or something, that was not the case tonight. I hope despite being the lowest scorer this week, Margaret gets a few more chances on the dance floor to iron out her technique and add some more finesse to her dancing, because tonight showed that she really does have true potential.
• Audrina & Tony (26/30, waltz): My, how Audrina has come a long way from evading the Unknown Girl curse in Week 1. She earned the first 9s of the season! (Anyone else sad that it took until Week 3 this year? I know having someone get them out of the gate, like a few in past seasons, is a bit of a downer because it means they're usually shoo-ins to win, but still, I like high scores, and it's been weird not seeing much of them until this point.) Her waltz with Tony was simply beautiful...a poignant story (someone dreaming of dancing with their off-to-war soldier/Marine again), and some absolutely gorgeous footwork and technique. Audrina's facial expressions were nicely understated as well, which really helped accentuate the power of the narrative. The best dance of the season? Score-wise, yes, and although waltzes tend to be less exciting than, say, jives or sambas, I would venture to say overall...yes. Audrina's really catapulted herself into a contender, and although she's one of the more low-key competitors (both personality-wise and fame-wise) this season, as long as she keeps dancing as well as this, she'll be gliding through all the way to the finals.

That's all for Part 1. (The other 5 dancers will follow in a post to come, well, posthaste. :) ) See you in a bit, and for now, viva la DWTS! :)

DWTS Week 2 Results: Out of the Doghouse

Well, this shall be short and sweet (well, maybe not that short and sweet, since, y'know, it's me writing...but relatively so)...and why, do you ask? Because I was attending my sister's choir concert last night, and thus only saw the last 10 minutes of the results show. I did catch up a bit online, thanks to YouTube, so I did watch a little bit more of it. But mostly, I'll be brief. Yes. I will. :)

• The Elimination: People may love you, but on DWTS, when you're six points behind the two couples tied for second-to-last place, you're kind of doomed unless a miracle occurs. (Sadly, 3 miracles occurred in Season 2 when Master P inexplicably made it to Week 4 and got the lowest score in DWTS history. And let's not even speak of the 4 miracles that happened last season when the mom who shall not be named was able to 'dance' for an excruciating 5 weeks. Sigh...) Unfortunately for Michael, no miracle was in store for him...he was swiftly dispatched for what Bruno (fairly accurately?) called "the worst jive in 11 seasons." (Like I pointed out in my last recap, Master P is the worst contestant DWTS has ever had. And the only notoriously bad one that got to do a jive. And he got two points more than Michael.) Michael still seemed a little hurt by Bruno's comments, and I see where he was coming from there, but still, Bruno's a judge. A crazy, flamboyant, exciting, maddening judge, sure, but a good one too. Did he need to go off on Michael's dismal 'jive'? Not really. But I didn't really see it as mean-spirited or cruel...just harsh, blunt, and to the point. Then again, I've had 10 seasons (missed Season 1, remember?) to get used to Bruno's antics, so maybe it's just me. Farewell, Mr. Bolton...and enjoy the rest of your tour.
• The Other Stuff (at least what I saw of it): Janelle Monae was impressive singing the heck out of "Tightrope" (I've refrained from downloading it, sadly, since Big Boi kind of messes the studio version up with his random rapping...but I have watched the video), and dancing deliciously (?!?!?) all over the place. And my first "they should be a contestant someday!" of the season is here. :) As for Seal, I haven't watched his performance yet. Hopefully it was good? Nor have I seen the Macy's Stars of Dance performance. Maybe I never will...(insert dramatic music here). I did see the pros talking about their weird rituals before performances (Derek refrigerating his socks? Corky smelling the floor? Louis eating a delicious piece of chocolate cake? Nice...), and Bruno totally not apologizing for his comments last night. Stick to your guns, Bruno! Stick to your guns. I'm hoping to find somewhere on the Internets a clip of the explanation of how the audience was actually booing at Jennifer and Derek's scores (and not Sarah Palin), though. Otherwise I'll have to search through the whole episode...and who does that? :)

So there you have it. Week 2 is finished. Whatever shall I do until next Monday? Well, a few things, actually. First, the DWTS-related task: the show's producers have selected 30 memorable dances for us to vote on. The 10 with the top votes (I think?) will be aired in a countdown special on October 25th. I'll be making a post posthaste (:D) with my choices for the top 10, some of the meh ones, some of the interesting choices, all that jazz. Second...as always, I'm going to make yet another promise to continue on my "American Idol" Top 12 project. Will it get done soon? Hopefully. It's been a while. Sorry I'm so lame in getting it finished. Anyways...see you soon with some of the aforementioned posts, and for now, viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 2, Part 2: You Can't Hurry Love

No, you'll just have to wait. She said love don't come easy...but it's a game of give and...oh, hello. I'm supposed to be writing a "DWTS" recap, aren't I? Let's proceed with that, shall we?

• Margaret & Louis (18/30, jive): Margaret had the unfortunate luck of coming after the whirlwind of movement and precision that was Jennifer Grey's jive, which sort of highlighted some of the weaknesses in hers. Still...she can dance! After kinda sorta proving so last week with the first 15 seconds of her Viennese waltz, Margaret did so in full force with a pretty good jive. Technically, it needed some improvement. But it was energetic and a great performance. And it even had an 80s theme while being both of those things. :) I still worry a bit that Margaret may get lost in the shuffle with the scores the judges gave her (I would have said three 7s would have been more in order), and the fact that she seemed a bit off tonight personality-wise, but I think she'll be fine tomorrow night, and that she'll continue to improve and warm the hearts of the "DWTS" watching public.
• Kyle & Lacey (22/30, quickstep): Any of you out there (including myself) who thought that Lacey had gotten all of her crazy "let's shake things up and make this dance different!" tendencies out of her system during her season 7 run with Lance Bass (remember the random barefoot dancing?), well...we were proven wrong. Lacey's choreography for Kyle was kind of all over the place, and though Kyle once again did fairly well, it wasn't as put together as last week (though the judges perplexingly gave him only 1 point less). It wasn't quite a quickstep...and for some reason, randomly felt a little slow in the feet at some points. (As in it looked like Kyle wasn't stepping quick enough, or that Lacey hadn't choreographed his feet to do so well enough.) It was OK, but I wasn't quite sure what was going on half the dance. Surprisingly, though, Len liked it. (Even with the "young" and "hip" moves Lacey threw in? Wow, Mr. Goodman, you're growing up. :) )
• Kurt & Anna (21/30, jive): I thought Kurt's jive was pretty dang good tonight...charming, good footwork, and fun. What's not to like? Like I've reiterated with a few standouts tonight, though...not perfect. Still needs a bit of polish, definitely. But still. Good dancing. (And he had to deal with the painful song choice of "Danger Zone." Blegh. :) ) Strangely, my local ABC affiliate (which is going gaga over Kurt because hello, he played for our hometown Cardinals the past few seasons) was reporting at 10 on some controversy with Kurt's costume. I'm kind of wondering what that was about...at first, I was kind of wondering why it was so low-key (well, low-key and sparkly), but I didn't think it was that bad. Perhaps that will always be a mystery...I missed catching that report. :)
• "The Situation" & Karina (18/30, quickstep): Let's keep this short and sweet. The Situation still annoys me. His dancing tonight was better, but...it still wasn't great. I still didn't very much enjoy it. And he still didn't show his abs, miraculously. Hey, DWTS voters...let's make this the very first series (granted, the only other one he's been in is "Jersey Shore," but still...) in which The Situation's six-pack stays hidden. We can do this. It's the best for America. Let's get him out of here. Please?? (Hey, if it happened to the Hoff, it can happen to a guy from "Jersey Shore.")
• Bristol & Mark (22/30, quickstep): Good for Bristol! She improved on the potential she showed last week and danced a fine quickstep. My post-dance tweet noted that her dancing "needed a bit of work," which is true, but she was graceful and classy. The judges were correct, though, that she needs a bit more performance quality, more energy in her face. She doesn't look bored (in fact, she smiles quite a lot), but she does need to stylistically bring her dancing a little more edge. And as for her mother...sigh. I have a feeling the whole "how did you get her to do the (insert strange Palin-esque noise and shimmying movement)?" clip will be playing nonstop on the news outlets tomorrow. And that they'll also be discussing "did they boo at Sarah? Did they? DID THEY?" furiously (and obnoxiously). But that's the way the game goes. I will say it was kind of interesting seeing the woman who could have been VP just 2 years ago in a leather jacket on the sidelines of the dance floor on a nationally televised reality competition show. And beyond that...I shall be quiet. :)

So how did the competitors do in Week 2? I shall tell you, who I think goes with who... :(Channeling my inner Dr. Seuss there. :D):

The Good (That I Voted For): Florence, Brandy, Audrina, Kurt, Margaret, & Bristol

The Good (That May Win My Favor, And In Jennifer's Case, Were Terrific): Jennifer, Rick & Kyle

The Bad (To Home They Go?): The Situation & Michael (Mike & Michael? Perhaps that name is not a good one to have this season... :) )

See you tomorrow night post-results show. Viva la DWTS! :)

DWTS Week 2, Part 1: Suddenly I See

And so after a whirlwind week of premieres on TV (I watched like 2 or 3 new shows!), our good ol' friend "Dancing With The Stars" returns for yet another week of madness. Or something like that. I found this week's performance show a bit more entertaining than the premiere...and the dancing improved (mostly...cough cough Michael Bolton cough cough). I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. But who knows? Next week could turn out to be ghastly. Like the unexpected appearance this week of...gasp, Sarah Palin! Anyways, let's jump right into how the dancing went down during Week 2.

• Rick & Cheryl (21/30, jive): Oh, so the song was called "Tush"! That explains the whole Cheryl's underwear-uncovering thing. Actually, not really. That was a bit unnecessary. But I guess it at least explains the word choice on the underwear...anyways, Rick did pretty well tonight. I'm not entirely sure it was an improvement, per se, on last week's fairly nice Viennese waltz, but I think it was still a step forward. Rick conquered his foot issues and his crazy height, and went out there and actually nailed quite a few of the steps. It wasn't the best dance of the night, but it worked. Normally he would have to worry that he wasn't incredibly memorable and went first, but it's Rick Fox. Ladies drool all over him. And he might have grabbed a sizable chunk of the male voting crowd with that Cheryl undies flash, too...sigh. :)
• Florence & Corky (19/30, quickstep): And Ms. Henderson brings it! After last week's rather interesting (but kind of head-scratching, in my opinion) semi-Cloris flashback cha cha cha, Florence actually pulled out some fairly serious dancing chops (see, I told you she'd probably be pretty good! Broadway doesn't lie...), and gave a quickstep that would make even a 30-year-old look impressive. Was the footwork perfect? No. But it was a dance with a good deal of content, a bit of fun, a lot of class, and a more-than-necessary amount of Corky Ballas mugging. (Did not particularly dig that drawn-out flourishing by him at the end. Just dance it straight, sir!) The producers even chose a KT Tunstall hit (viva la Tunstall!), of all things...the deliciously spunky "Suddenly I See." (A possible reference to Florence showing she's much more than a number...the number 76, her age? Perhaps...) I thought Florence really stepped up her game tonight, and with crazy rehearsal antics like her giving, ahem, the finger (sorry, I know it's bad but I did find it quite funny...) continuing to pop up, she's definitely still going strong in the charm department.
• Brandy & Maks (21/30, jive): A tweet of mine during the show: "Finally, someone gets Maks to go to therapy!" Honestly, though, it's about time. :) Moving on from that...I thought Brandy did well, but I do agree with the judges that her jive lacked a little something. There wasn't enough kick in the legs, it seemed, and the energy flagged a tiny bit. However, what the dance lacked in sharpness and technique, it made up for in style...the solo was impressive, and the general vibe was cool. I dug it. Her and Maks' interplay with the judges made for some interesting developments...Brandy's admonishment to Maks that he let her listen to the judges' constructive criticism was classy, but then she got a little shaky when she reacted a little too vocally to some of said criticism...and acted as if Maks' solo choreography was a bit shaky. Like other Internet posters have noted...watch yourself, Brandy. Trust your pro. It's Maks. He's cool. Random side note: I know I ranted about Tom (and Cat Deeley of SYTYCD, while we're at it) totally deserving an Emmy in my last recap...but I think someone else deserves one more. For your consideration, I would like to submit Bruno Tonioli's Gwen Stefani imitation from his critique of Brandy's jive. That is all. :)
• Michael & Chelsie (12/30 [yes, you read that right], jive): I'll probably end up writing a bunch about him, anyway, but here's a succinct start to this section about Michael's dance, straight from my live tweeting during the show: "Michael's jive was one part loosening up a bit, one part acting like a robot, and three parts Chelsie dragging him across the floor...sad." The effort was there...I think...but yes. It was bad. 12/30 bad? Well, that's arguable. But honestly, there were literally some points where Chelsie had to drag him. And where he looked clunky and robotic. And where the parts didn't quite fit together. I know it's hard seeing a beloved entertainer/singer of your youth getting trampled by 3 dancing show judges...but it's the hard truth, folks. (As for me, I am free from any love for any Bolton tunes, or for his hair, so sorry, I'm naturally going to be a bit less sympathetic.) It's going to take a lot of love for Michael to escape at least the Bottom Two (then again, Master P did for a whopping 4 weeks, without a particularly evident fan base, and even lower scores), and a likely elimination. Speaking of the P, once Bruno made his "the worst jive in 11 seasons" comment, me and my sister immediately pondered if Master P (AKA the worst contestant in DWTS history, and a constant reference point in the Randall home for celebrity dancing suckitude) had done a jive way back in Season 2. My sister doubted he made it that far, but a Wikipedia check just now reveals that he did, in fact, 'dance' a 'jive.' (You can bet the bank those single quotes are intentional. :) ) But he got a 14. So sorry, Michael. Methinks Bruno wasn't too far off. Good luck tomorrow night...thou shalt need it.
• Audrina & Tony (23/30, quickstep): Will this dance be remembered as an impressive breakthrough for Audrina, or the one that caused Tony to have to shave his legs? Only time will tell. (But probably the latter. Who remembers the dancing, anyway? :) ) Anyhow, Audrina did well last week, but this week, gave an even more terrific performance, with a quickstep that I would dare say was the best of the night. (Literally, it was, actually...it was the highest-scoring quickstep of Week 2.) The footwork was great, the choreography was classy, the content was there...it just all fit together. Not quite near perfection yet, but getting there. As an added bonus, during rehearsal, Audrina broke out the waterworks...but unless most celebrity crying meltdowns, this one was natural and mature...she wasn't mad at Tony, she didn't freak out, she just had a moment where the stress of DWTS got to her...and then she got over it. And life went on. Good for her. (Compared to the partner that Tony had last season, he must be dancing in joy at how classy Ms. Patridge is.) Audrina is really showing some sizable potential...hopefully the voters agree, yes? (And for the elephant in the room...BAHAHAHA that Tony has to wax his legs. Wow. Just wow. This should be interesting. Though as I noted on Twitter, the leg-waxing should be "much less painful than having (insert name of partner that I still refuse to type again here, look on Twitter if you really don't know who it was) as a partner last season." :) )
• Jennifer & Derek (24/30, jive): Full disclosure: Yet again, I did not use my fingers to dial (or click, via online voting) for Jennifer & Derek. I'm just not quite ready to vote for them yet for some reason. But still...this was one heck of a jive. Derek, despite becoming increasingly annoying to watch at times, is a killer choreographer, and his skill at creating routines really manifested itself tonight. It was fast! It was furious! It was fun to watch! What's more, Jennifer more than proved capable of handling the lightning-quick steps. I really loved it. (And no wonder she had to lay/sit down afterwards...ah, if only Marie Osmond had thought ahead and done the same after her infamous fainting-inducing samba back in Season 5.) Apparently the booing after the scores were given was for the low-balling 8s the judges doled out, and not for Sarah Palin's presence (more on that in Part II)...had I been paying attention (I somehow missed the scores and had to wait until the end to find them out), I probably would have joined those boos. A 24 for a fiery jive? Rude.

Part II coming right up! I'll hurry up so it doesn't get posted too late. For now, viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 1 Results: Dropping A Bomb

Finally! After season after season of voting off perfectly nice/fun/interesting/good people first (except for season 8, where 'comedian' Jeffrey Ross quite deservedly got the first boot) on "DWTS," America was rather merciful and swift last night in their voting, and one of my least favorite dancers last night was sent home. Who was it? Well, you can probably guess from the title...and y'know, the billions of spoilers now swimming around the Internet...anyhow, but we shall discuss below. Discussion beginning...now. :)

• The Elimination: In my recap last night, I minced no words (I hope?) when it came to my dislike of David Hasselhoff and his cha cha cha (sort of) to "Sex Bomb." So as you can probably guess, I was rather happy to see him go home tonight. Although I audibly expressed anger at The Situation being announced as safe for next week (if only it was a double elimination week...sigh...), at least my fellow DWTS voters had the sense to spare the viewing public any more misery, and send "The Hoff" packing. His dance wasn't good, I didn't see much potential, and had he stayed for a few more weeks, David would have probably been limping through the competition, more as a figurehead rather than an actual contender. He just wasn't good. I didn't like him. Sorry for all of you that do think he's the tops. I'm not one of them, and I don't think I'll ever be...but that's just me. A few random side notes: I was delighted to see some shaky (but excellent) prospects like Bristol, Margaret, and Audrina advance to next week (as I've told you, I'm an unexpectedly growing Bristol fan; Margaret has huge potential, and she's hilarious and charming; and Audrina gave a respectable performance on Monday, so I was glad to see that she beat the Shannen Doherty/Josie Maran/Paulina Porizkova/Trista Sutter Memorial Girl Who Isn't Very Well-Known, Doesn't Stand Out, or People Kind of Don't Like For Some Reason Gets Knocked Out First, Regrettably Curse! :) ) Also, David's first-week exit (according to my research) brings "DWTS" closer to once again balancing out the gender count for first eliminations of the show's 11 seasons. (Counting first weeks with double eliminations, 7 women have gone home first, while 6 men have.)
• The Music: Well, I was pleasantly surprised in this department. Hearing Tom & Brooke announce yesterday that Santana and Daughtry were the main musical guests caused me to not expect much from tonight's musical performances. (They did mention India.Arie too, so I was excited for that part. She's terrific!) Thankfully, I was wrong, and both singularly named acts started the season off strong with, as follows: a spicy version of "Oye Como Va" (a Santana standard that I had forgotten about until they used it to kick off the show); a serviceable performance of "September" by Daughtry (as was true on "AI" a few months, and also seasons, ago, his live voice is impressive); a beautiful Santana duet with India.Arie of the Beatles' standard "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"; and a surprisingly amazing take on "Photograph" by Def Leppard (I have to admit I had no clue which band this was a cover of until afterwards; my dad's a big fan of Def Leppard, but I'm certainly not) by Daughtry & Santana. I really liked the backstage-style intro with the pros at the beginning, and it really adds a lot of energy to the results-show broadcast by starting straight off with a fiery number. India.Arie's gorgeous pipes on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" were terrific as always (I want that studio version now), and Daughtry was rocking "Photograph" like there was no tomorrow. (He moves farther and farther away from his 4th place "Idol" finish and closer and closer to legend status every time I see him perform, even if I don't particularly care for his band's music.) And the huge lighted stage set-up was interesting, and provided for an interesting dynamic that made the performances feel fresh. (Though I'm sure the main stage where the Harold Wheeler Band usually performs on dance nights felt lonely. :) ) All in all...the producers are going to have a hard time topping this. (But please do try. Some jazz vocalists would be a great start. :) )
• The Rest: He's been adding color commentary to results-show nights for quite a few seasons (along with Jimmy Kimmel, who I hope is back, believe it or not), and I have to admit tonight's segment was a bit less laugh-out-loud funny than previous years, but I still (sort of) get a kick out of Adam Carolla's wacky "DWTS" antics. The bit where Len invented a dance (I forget which) was the highlight. Tom also got in a witty line of his own...he told The Situation and David that "We'll inform you of your fates later," then quipped, "We've got an hour to fill." Leave it to Tom to gently jab the results-show concept and make it funny and charming...as I noted on Twitter, why doesn't he have an Emmy yet?? (Same with Cat Deeley. I'm not a regular SYTYCD viewer by any means, but even I can tell that she's one of the best hosts ever. Quick on her feet, invested in the contestants, and British!! OK, "Cat and Tom should have Emmys" rant complete. :) ) And finally, I had no idea Louis van Amstel had a ponytail in Season 1. (This bit of info was shown in a picture of him & Trista as the first couple eliminated in U.S. "DWTS" history.) The things I missed that random first season! Dang... :)

And that's all I have to say about the results show tonight. I think. (You'll notice I kinda wrote a bit more than I usually do about these things. Probably because this was the first results show in a long time that I was able to sit down and watch in its entirety. Thank goodness it was a good one! :) ) Here's one last farewell to the Hoff, and see y'all next week for another dancing recap. For now...viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 1, Part 2: Mama Told Me (Not To Come)

Well, I already did all my "welcome this recap! Brandon is now going to ramble a bit aimlessly for his intro" stuff in Part I, so let's dive right in to Part II. Vamos!

• Bristol & Mark (18/30, cha cha cha): Sit down children, and let me tell you a story.* Once upon a time, there was a quirky Alaskan governor named Sarah Palin, and John McCain picked her as his running mate. I was a big Obama/Biden fan at the time (still am, but that's another story), but I thought she was cool, and excited about her being the VP pick. Then as time went on...I wasn't. More time went on...it got worse. And now, I really can't stand her, to be frank. The end. But wait...there's another chapter to the story. A surprising chapter that came out of nowhere. I'm not quite sure exactly why, but I like Bristol Palin, and I voted for her 6 times (3 by phone, 3 online) tonight. I kid you not. (And I had seen her try to act, and fail miserably, in "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." If you want to watch the amusing/gruesome footage of that, check out the link in one of my "let's meet the cast" posts.) Her dance wasn't incredibly great, but it wasn't horrible to watch, and Bristol definitely wasn't as stiff and lifeless as Kate Gosselin was I thought she might be. (Sorry about that crossed-out portion. I forgot we agreed never to speak of the ____ in "____ Plus 8" again. :) ) There's a certain charm about her...she's shy, but nice, and seems to get along well with Mark in rehearsal...that cuts through all of the confusion at why she was picked for "Dancing With The Stars" when she's not a star in the first place, all of the increasingly hostile feelings I may have about her mother. She has potential as a dancer. I identify with her being shy and not entirely comfortable with loosening up (those have both been longtime faults of mine). So sue me. I think I'm becoming a fan of Bristol Palin (sort of) on "DWTS."
• Florence & Corky (18/30, cha cha cha): Much like the entire premiere in general tonight, I'm quite perplexed as to what my thoughts are with Florence and her...ahem, interesting first dance. I was a big Cloris fan back in season 7 (I still think the woman is hilarious, but I'll still never get what possessed me to vote so many times for her that season), but in a surprise to myself, I'm not quite there yet with Florence...the dance was kind of all over the place. Some of the steps were off, some of the humor didn't work (remember when I said Corky wasn't as creeper-y as people made him out to be? I think I've changed my mind now...what the heck happened to his voice? And he still has a fixation on naughty choreography...), and it wasn't quite all there. That said, Florence is charming and unpredictable (that whole bra-flashing thing before one of the breaks was out of nowhere, and my mouth stayed open in shock for about 20 seconds, but it also made me laugh), and I'd be quite glad for her to stay in the competition at least a few more weeks.
• Michael & Chelsie (16/30, Viennese waltz): I'm still not sold on the 36-year age gap between Mr. Bolton & Chelsie, and tonight's pretty lame dance did them no favors. Chelsie was terrific--both in outfit choice (she's wearing clothes! And they cover her body!) and dancing--but Michael was not. He was stiff, boring, and a bit clumsy. I found myself inadvertently focusing on Chelsie mid-dance...and when I tried to switch back to watching Michael, I found my eyes drifting back to Chelsie again. He's just not an engaging dance presence, and I have a feeling that's going to really hurt him in the long run. He's probably going to be benefited this week by both a promising female fanbase (remember the crazed fans in "Music & Lyrics"? I have a feeling those same types of fans will be dialing through the roof for him...) and being close to last in the broadcast, but I doubt he'll last much longer unless he really shapes up technique and personality-wise. Still, even if he ends up departing quickly (I kind of hope he does), he'll always have his hair. (Those first two pictures they showed of him in his rehearsal package intro were wild. :) )
• Mike ("The Situation") & Karina (15/30, cha cha cha): Seeing as he was largely absent from 99% of the pre-season promo materials because he was wrapping up season 3 of "Jersey Shore," I waited until tonight to make a verdict on Mr. Sorrentino (AKA, of course, "The Situation") purely based on the fact that I had no clue how he acted on camera (save from media accounts), and thus wanted to give him a fair shake. I did. About 30 seconds to a minute into his rehearsal footage...he was already getting on my nerves. The press is right about him...he's cocky, abrasive, and I'm pretty sure he was at least somewhat drunk in part of his rehearsal footage. I know he had only 5 days to practice, but his dance was pretty much a trainwreck--it didn't click together at all, and was pretty dang painful to watch. Might America be merciful and let us only have to suffer through one dance by "The Situation"? These are the same people that let both Kathy Ireland & the lady who we have agreed not to speak of (see Bristol's section for clarification if needed) last for much longer than they needed to, but they also were the same people that had the sense to give the annoying Jake Pavelka last season a fairly early exit. And Karina has never been a well-liked pro, so he doesn't have that going for him. So I'm staying positive. :)
• Jennifer & Derek (24/30, Viennese waltz): It's probably the fact that I've never seen "Dirty Dancing" and thus don't have the fond, fond memories of it that have been running around for 20+ years in the minds of those who were children of the 80s. But I wasn't that impressed with Jennifer Grey's first dance...it was nice, it was somewhat inspiring, but I wasn't quite sold on it. Jennifer seemed kind of awkward and disjointed tonight--there were absolutely beautiful lines there, but also quite a few bad transitions as well. And her crying in rehearsal about the late Patrick Swayze was heartbreaking, but also a little foreboding...I feel really, really sorry for her (how hard would it be to to a dancing show just a year or two after the tragic, early death of the person who you starred with years ago in a movie about the same subject??), but crying every week in rehearsal doesn't usually end well ("DWTS" voters get frustrated, it becomes less fun to watch, it makes you look like a drama queen even when you're perfectly nice and wonderful, like Jennifer is). I'm looking forward to next week, though. Len said, "let's see you jive next week." I agree...an excellent performance next week could turn me from semi-doubter to semi-fan. You never know just how "DWTS" will surprise.
• David & Kym (15/30, cha cha cha): Kym asked (somewhat rhetorically) in the post-dance interview, "Who doesn't love the Hoff?" As I answered back in my live tweeting during the show..."I don't, that's who." I simply do not get why people think he's cool, fun, or appealing in any way, shape, or form. He's aged the opposite of gracefully. He still insists on making a point of keeping his cheesy 80s/90s TV work a major selling point of his career today. Kym may have had the same kind of partner in season 9 (Donny Osmond, a sort-of washed up 80s/90s heartthrob seen as cheesy), but Donny actually could dance somewhat well. David, on the other hand...nope. It was really uncomfortable to watch. He doesn't move well, Kym is a good teacher and choreographer but not an amazing one, and thus even she couldn't keep it from turning into one big trainwreck. David went last, and like I said above, lots of people seem to like him. So if he goes home tomorrow night, it will be quite a shocker...but, quite frankly, it will be a shocker that makes me very, very happy.

And that's the premiere of season 11. I'll be back tomorrow night with my take on the results, but for now, here are my traditional groupings of the dancers so far:

They Did Great, And I Like 'Em: Brandy, Kurt, Rick (surprisingly, but no votes yet), and Audrina (sort of, I didn't end up voting for her either)

They Didn't Do So Well, But I'm Still A Fan: Margaret, Bristol (still don't know why)

Nice Dancing, But I Don't Really Like You Yet: Kyle, Jennifer, Florence

Please Go, You're No Good: David, Michael, "The Situation"

See you tomorrow for my results recap (which will hopefully be fairly on time). For now...viva la DWTS! :)

(*Typing this line reminded me of an obscure "Arthur" line I'd like to share with y'all, where he was trying to write poetry based on "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere": "Listen my children, and I will tell you/About a duck and a chicken, on a bus to Oklahomu! Ewwww..." :D)

DWTS Week 1, Part 1: Crazy

And here we are. "Dancing With The Stars" is back for its 11th season. Tonight's premiere was...OK, to be frank, I'm still not quite sure what to think of it. But as I've learned through watching "DWTS" ever since season 2 (me and my family missed its inaugural season completely), first impressions can be quite off. So even if this was a somewhat underwhelming first night, I'm pretty confident the season can get better...as I wrote in my parting live tweet after the show, "There's still lots of dancing to come. So nowhere to go but up..." And with that, let's waltz into recapping the DWTS premiere...

• Audrina & Tony (19/30, cha cha cha): Not being a viewer of "The Hills," I wasn't very familiar with Audrina before tonight (knew the name, barely knew the face, but that's basically where my knowledge ends), and wasn't expecting much. She exceeded my expectations with a respectable cha cha cha...not too dirty, not too stiff, and not too boring. It was nice, fun, and she showed some potential. In addition, her personality was pleasant (though a bit boring, which could be a liability in the long run). That said...she was first out of the gate. I can't imagine her having many built-in fans. And she received pretty good, but not amazing scores. As we learned from the sad case of Shannen Doherty last season (and other first-week eliminations strewn across "DWTS" history), these qualities can easily add up to an early exit. Audrina's days might be numbered, but I hope they're not. I kind of like her (even though I didn't vote for her), and I think the best is yet to come in terms of her dancing.
• Kurt & Anna (19/30, Viennese waltz): The likable Audrina was followed by the even more likable Kurt Warner, a former Cardinals (yeah, Cardinals!!!!) player who turned in a just as respectable show on the dance floor. Given the fact that he's a bit more interesting personality-wise (a large, cute family helps :) ), and that his long football career (he helped the Cards reach the Super Bowl in '08! Sorry, but as you can tell, can't help my inner Cardinals fanboy from popping out...) gives him a pretty large fanbase from the beginning, he's probably going to stay a while no matter how well he dances going forward. So it's good that he gave a promising start, and with the always-dependable Anna as a partner, he could really grow and improve as the season progresses.
• Kyle & Lacey (23/30, cha cha cha): The artist formerly known as Cory Baxter has never been a favorite of mine, so bear that in mind whenever I type about him, but...I wasn't completely a fan of his and Lacey's cha cha cha tonight, or his personality (but then again, that's something I've never really cared for). He danced well, but Lacey's choreography seemed to rely a bit more on sex than it should have, and seeing as Kyle's 19 (and looks a bit younger), that didn't quite sit well with me as a viewer. And maybe it's my inner Len speaking out, but the opening with the locker was incredibly pointless. Still, Kyle seems to be yet another celebrity to form an easy partnership with the adventurous Lacey (her line asking him if he was staring at her cleavage during rehearsal had me laughing profusely), and there could be worse people to go far in the competition (cough cough, Situation and the Hoff...I'll get to you both later...). And I bet all the people who were going "Who the heck is Kyle Massey?" pre-season are probably totally bowled over that he's suddenly become a favorite, which should make things interesting. :)
• Rick & Cheryl (22/30, Viennese waltz): As you probably were able to gather if you read my pre-season "let's meet the cast" posts, I wasn't too excited about Rick Fox. I'd never heard of him, he looked like the kind of dancer who would rely on looks rather than talent (which is pretty much 80% of the show's past male contestant population, sigh...), and I don't know, I just didn't really care for him upon first impression. After viewing the rehearsal footage and seeing how dang tall he is, my expectations stayed pretty low...and then I saw his Viennese waltz, and I was in for quite a surprise. Against all odds, I really liked it. He was incredibly graceful, not just for someone approaching 7 feet tall, but for someone dancing in general, and the dance was just classy and nice to watch. I'm not quite elevated to "fan" territory yet, but count Rick as probably giving the best first impression both personality and talent-wise (in my eyes) of the male dancers this season.
• Margaret & Louis (15/30, Viennese waltz): As is often the case with me and the resident comedians of "DWTS," I really like Margaret. She's fun, the family atmosphere of "DWTS" enables us to watch a slightly toned-down version of her humor (the same was the case with Kathy Griffin on "Celebrity Mole: Hawaii" years ago...I loved her on that show, but I generally veer away from whatever she's done after it, because her raunchy humor really isn't my cup of tea), and the sentiments she expressed during rehearsal that she wanted to feel beautiful and accepted were really sweet. All this means...dang it about her dance, and her score. The first quarter of it started off great--and then it veered into uneasy comedy territory, and by the time she had gotten tangled up in her cape and then intentionally made a few stumbles, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. The problem was rather Louis choreographing more around her comedic persona than the dancing skill she probably is able to demonstrate (he did this a lot with Niecy last season, admittedly in a more effective way). He played for laughs rather than for the "she really CAN dance!" factor, and thus the scores suffered. I hope Margaret doesn't get knocked off early tomorrow, and that the genuine charm she showed in her rehearsal footage and (most of) her dance is enough to carry her into next week. If so, she and Louis better bring their A-game next week. If not, then this season might be a little less fun to watch.
• Brandy & Maks (23/30, Viennese waltz): And here's one of the best dances of the night. It wasn't exactly Nicole-last-season-first-dance good (I eventually made my peace with Nicole last season, was glad she won, and in retrospect see her as an incredibly good dancer), or Kristi-in-season-6-holy-crap-she's-going-to-win-this-whole-thing-ain't-she-first-dance good (:D), but it was classy, elegant, and the lines were beautiful. Brandy (who, as I have previously stated, have fond memories of from the excellent 1997 Wonderful World of Disney production of "Cinderella") also showed much more interesting of a personality than I thought she would have in rehearsal footage, becoming a brilliant foil to Maks (who amusingly and strangely proclaimed he would be more of a softie this season, then proceeded to sort of abandon this) by being tough on herself, and pushing him to push her and work her hard. They're fun to watch (I think Denise Richards has been the only person that's NOT been fun to watch with Maks), it's the makings of a great partnership, and I think Brandy is bound to go far in this competition, much like that other singularly-named 90s singer back in season 9 (cough cough, Mya, cough cough). (You know me and my comparisons. I can't help but make 'em.)

That's all for Part I (Part II coming up hopefully right after this one, but it might be delayed until tomorrow morning in a worst-case scenario). See you in a bit for the next 6 dancers' recap (here's a teaser: I actually like Bristol Palin, and I don't know why!), and for now, viva la DWTS! :)

DWTS: Let's Meet The Cast of Season 11 (Part II)

"How Am I Supposed To Live Without You"! THAT's the song Michael Bolton is famous for. And I'm back! Let's cut right to the chase and talk about the other half of this season's cast of...Bailando con las Estrellas! (Si, I just went Spanglish on you. :) )

• Kyle Massey & Lacey Schwimmer: Producers have done a much better job here of pairing a young pro with a young celebrity (I did the research, and according to Wikipedia, Kyle's 19, and dear old Lacey's 22)...but really? Kyle Massey? Kudos to the producers (again) for actually managing to keep his name under wraps (the former Mr. Cory Baxter was nowhere near any of the casting rumors that actually ended up being pretty accurate this season), but...I've never really liked Kyle since he started growing up on "That's So Raven." He's kind of stilted and annoying, and he's really starred in too many ghastly projects (Life Is Ruff, Cory In The House, that one or two 'songs' he 'sang') for me to change my mind. Oh well...at least he might be good at dancing, given the fact that he's not even reached his 20s. (He's only a year older than I am! Then again, so was Shawn Johnson during her season. Still...I feel like I'm growing up...) And also, he's paired with Lacey, who is fun and a fairly good teacher, from what I've seen in the past.
• Brandy & Maksim Chmerkovskiy (that name never fails to give me grief...): Yeah, that's probably the very last time I'm going to type Maks' full name...ever. You know who he is. Do the math. :) Anyways...Brandy's always been one of those stars who is...nice. Fairly talented. Pretty. But...kind of boring and not terribly popular. Still, I have fond memories of Ms. Norwood in the Wonderful World of Disney version of "Cinderella" back in '97 (speaking of that, I should get it on DVD...), and remember Mya? She fit kind of the same bill...nice, fairly talented, and attractive, but also a bit low-key at first...and ended up being absolutely terrific. So I have fairly high hopes for Brandy. But if she ends up being disappointing as a dancer...meh. I'll survive. (She better bring her A-game, though, to be able to handle the fury of Maks.)
• Bristol Palin & Mark Ballas: Bristol. Oh, Bristol...I don't know what to think of you. You seem charming and ready to get down to work. But also...all you're known for, pretty much, is being the spawn of a witc I mean, daughter of Sarah Palin. Well, that, and your painfully robotic acting debut on "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." (And when you can tell you're robotic on that show, you know you've got acting problems. It was even worse than me, and I consider myself the worst actor ever. :) ) Anyways...I still have ghastly memories of the last reality star known for little more than existing that "DWTS" brought to the table (cough cough, Kate Gosselin, let us never speak of her again, cough cough), who was so bad that even the Emmys made fun of her. Heck, Kate even made fun of herself. But...I'm staying optimistic about Bristol. The fact that she's proclaimed she's going to be aiming for modesty in her costuming is a plus. (Yes, I know DWTS is the last place you're going to find modesty. But every little bit of it helps, folks.) Despite my increasingly hostile feelings about her mother, I think if Bristol actually can dance, this might actually be fun. (Might.)
• Audrina Patridge & Tony Dovolani: While I had heard Audrina's name bandied about a bit in the pop culture arena before they announced her as part of the cast, I have to admit...all I know is that she was on "The Hills." And did stuff. And seems to look slightly different every time I see her. Last season, we had to "Save Tony" from the evil clutches of the horrible partner I just mentioned in the previous section in a cough, and who we agreed never to speak of again. This season, I don't think that will be necessary. I doubt Audrina will be even half that obnoxious, and what's more, I don't think she'll last even half that long (poor Tony, the last time he got someone amazing was season 2). I can't see her having much of a fan base, and she seems unlikely to be any good at dancing. Still...DWTS has always been known for surprises. Gilles Marini was predicted by EW (somewhat offhandedly) to get last place his season. And you know how wrong that turned out to be...
• Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino & Karina Smirnoff: Karina's fortunes have fallen incredibly far with the DWTS-viewing public, from what I've seen (I have yet to see a genuinely positive comment about the veteran pro in online comment boards this season), which is a strike against "The Situation" (do I have to use that nickname? I guess so...) from the start, but...he's athletic. He's probably going to showcase his ridiculous (I mean that a bit derisively) abs for at least the first one or two dances. And being from one of the trashiest shows on reality television (and that's no mean feat), "Jersey Shore," he probably doesn't really give a dang how stupid he might look on the dance floor. I'm not a "Jersey" viewer, and Mike (ha! dodged the nickname!) failed to appear for the cast announcement press conference, so my verdict's out on his on-screen persona until September 20 when the show premieres, but...I'm guessing he's probably not an absolutely horrible dancer. Goodness forbid a reality-TV star takes it all the way...
• Kurt Warner & Anna Trebunskaya: Anna's a tough, but effective teacher (and I still find her rather fun to watch, though her hair choices have often been a bit psychotic in seasons past), and Kurt's an affable, well-liked, charming football star. (Who played last for the Cardinals, my home team. Heck yes!) Both of these factors practically guarantee him at least a month on the dance floor, if he's terrible at dancing. If he's good? You might as well write him a ticket to at least the top 5. He'd have to try hard not to make it that far.

And one more thing...Edyta's FINALLY gone! I've been an outspoken critic of Ms. Sliwinska for a while, mainly due to her going out of her way to dress in a ridiculously risque fashion (I'm pretty sure the clothes that any other pro female dancer wears in one show adds up to more fabric than Edyta has worn in her entire 10-season DWTS run...remember that outfit last season where she was basically naked? Ugh...), and the fact that her choreography usually tends to put the spotlight on her, rather than her partner. That all aside, Edyta's been a loyal part of DWTS for 10 long seasons, and I wish her all the best in whatever she moves on to. Farewell, Edyta! Try to wear more clothes at college, will you? As for the rest of you...I'm excited for Season 11 to start. Are you? Be sure to comment/discuss/what have you, and I'll see you in a few weeks for the premiere. (Those of you who are also "Idol" fans should see me much sooner, as I plan to continue my Top 12 project tomorrow. Or thereabouts.) For now...viva la DWTS!

DWTS: Let's Meet The Cast of Season 11 (Part I)

Remember when I said about a week or two ago that I would continue my "Idol" Top 12 project posthaste? Weeell...life got in the way. (It often does, yes?) Yet again I offer another "I'll hopefully make a post about it tomorrow" semi-promise. But let's move to the matter at hand..."Dancing With The Stars," everyone's favorite celebrity-dancing show (SYTYCD, you're great, but you don't count...), just announced its new cast for its 11th season (I've been there since Season 2! How far DWTS has come...), and I'd be a fool not to comment (in a somewhat timely manner) on the stars (or lack thereof), the pairings, and the other developments that have arisen so far. (The Situation, a Palin, and the Hoff, oh my!) Because there's 12 partnerships, and I'm wont to ramble, I'll split it all into two parts. So...let's boogie down, and preview the latest season of...Dancing. "WITH THE STAHHHRS!"

• Michael Bolton & Chelsie Hightower: I have to say I'm not too thrilled to see the guy whose biggest hit (ish...my memory of those love song/power ballad infomercials is kind of off at the moment, so I can't remember that one other famous tune he's known for) is "Go The Distance" learn to dance, but ehhh, at least he's...classy? A recovering big hair addict? I inexplicably have a Christmas song by him on my iPod (hey, it was free on iTunes a year or so ago...)? Yeah, I guess those all work. The producers really came out of left-field, though, with the partner they chose for him. Chelsie's fun. She's a pretty good teacher (she turned a rodeo star AND a pro snowboarder into fairly legitimate dancers, which is no mean feat). And she's attractive. But...she's 21. And Michael Bolton is FIFTY-SEVEN. That age difference is beyond Demi & Ashton territory...it's more like Celine Dion & Rene Angelil...or the late Anna Nicole Smith & J. Howard Marshall. (She was in her late 20s/early 30s, and he was approaching 90.) K, maybe not that drastic. But still. I'm wondering how Chelsie & Michael are going to make, say, the rumba look like anything but creepy. Then again, Michael might not even make it that far...
• Margaret Cho & Louis Van Amstel: I loved Niecy & Louis last season, and I expect Margaret & Louis this season to be cut from a lot of the same cloth (hilarious, revelatory, charming, fun to watch). Although...Margaret comes from a lot dirtier line of comedy (pun actually NOT intended for once...and it doesn't make sense unless you know Niecy up until recently hosted "Clean House" :) ), and her line during the press conference that she knows some stripper moves was kind of...foreboding. Still...she seems unique, fun, and ready to plow through the competition HER way, which I like. And I survived Pamela Anderson last season (and after the awkward tornado of raunch that was her first dance, she actually toned the scandalousness down, believe it or not). So...bring it on, Margaret.
• Rick Fox & Cheryl Burke: And here's where my spotty knowledge of sports comes back to bite me. (The other times it does this mostly occur during the sports categories on "Jeopardy!") I honestly had no idea until Monday night's press conference who the heck Rick Fox is. So...I hope he's not boring. Or obnoxious. (Like, say, Jason Taylor or Lawrence Taylor, from seasons past, neither of whom did I particularly care for, because they were...you guessed it, boring and obnoxious, respectively. And I didn't realize until now they're both surnamed Taylor...DWTS should just stay away from athletes with that name, I guess. :) ) Though really, he's probably going to fill one of the usual "Brandon doesn't give a dang whether you stay or go" slots this season (and if he makes it far, perhaps one of the "Please go, Brandon likes the other people much better, and you're lame" slots more towards the finals).
• Jennifer Grey & Derek Hough: Jennifer's story (you can find it somewhere on the Internets) that getting ready to appear on DWTS saved her life (because of the visit she made to make sure she was in ship-shape for dancing, doctors discovered a serious issue with her neck and she was able to get surgery) is inspiring. And although I'm not a child of the 80s and I've never seen "Dirty Dancing" (you that ARE children of the 80s can yell at me now...), she seems very nice, agreeable, and totally game for whatever DWTS throws her way. I have to admit, though, I'm with a lot of people saying Derek being her partner is kind of a "What? Not AGAIN..." scenario. Derek has yet to have received a truly ghastly-at-dancing partner. Jennifer could prove us wrong...but probably not, even if her last dance experience was in a movie released 23 years ago. Derek's choreography is often terrific (three words from last season: 50s paso doble), and he's a fairly good teacher (even when he has little to teach), but as is true for a lot of viewers, he's really gotten on my nerves. An early exit, even though I like Jennifer and hope she does well, might be the best for all involved.
• David Hasselhoff & Kym Johnson: Call me crazy, but I'm not a big fan of the Hoff. His self-parody appearance in the SpongeBob movie was probably the height of his appeal/level of humor as far as I'm concerned, and he's practically the poster boy in my book for "washed-up." (His last gig? Judging "America's Got Talent," AKA the redheaded stepchild of summer reality shows. Le ouch.) So...unless he turns out to be a revelation, or really funny/fun to watch, I'm going to be rather unenthusiastic about his tenure on the show. It's nice to see Kym back, though. (Don't worry, Kym. Anyone would need a season off to recover from the craziness that is Donny Osmond. :) )
• Florence Henderson & Corky Ballas: Poor Corky's getting painted with the "creeper" brush from his, ahem, colorful turn as Cloris Leachman's partner back a few seasons ago (my, was that entertaining television... :) ), but he's a nice guy, and Florence, of course, is cheerful, charming, and kind of a respected TV/film/stage veteran or something. Being from Broadway, Florence has a slight edge over previous 'older' contestants, and adding to that what's bound to be a lot of sentimental voter appeal, Ms. Henderson just might be the first fairly legitimate contender anywhere near the age of 76. (Then again, I could be wrong. That's pretty much the same thing I said about Buzz last season. Sad.)

The other half of the cast coming tomorrow morning (this I'll make sure to fulfill, really) or so. For now...read. Comment. Discuss. Throw tomatoes at. Whatever floats your boat. For now...viva la DWTS! :)

I'm In Here...Really. I Promise.

(Title...well, before the "really. I promise."...provided by an excellent Sia song. :) )

So...did you hear that Didi Benami won American Idol? (If only... :/ ) Of course you didn't...but if you'd been following my blog--and knew nothing about Season 9 of "Idol" went--that's what you'd have been under the impression of for the past...month and a half. I've been very neglectful of my Top 12 recap project, or of updating this here blog in any way, shape, or form. So let's get back to business...my Top 12 posts will resume (with a LOT of catch-up...I'm planning at least Andrew and Katie, and possibly Tim...oh, Tim...gah...) hopefully tomorrow, but covering a few odds and ends that have popped up in the time I've been away:

• Ellen's out of "Idol." I still like her, and I thought she did an OK job this past season, but she was smart to leave...the chemistry was definitely a little off between her and the other 3 judges. She would, however, be an excellent new host...Ryan, quit now if you know what's good for you. :) (Likelihood of that, though, btw? Next to none. One of the reasons Ellen said she quit was that the schedule was catching up to her. Hosting the show would probably take more time than judging it, so that option's out. Still, Ryan should quit anyhow. He's definitely past his expiration date in terms of actually being appealing or fun.)
• Kara might be out too. And Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are rumored to take the 2 open spots on the panel. J.Lo? Good. I like her (OK, I also think she's EXTREMELY attractive, but still...), and think she's appealing, has the potential to be nice, and helpful (like she was in her Season 6 mentoring stint...didn't watch the show then, but thanks to YouTube, I'm covered :), but also to lay down the law. That said...we thought the same about Ellen. And look how that turned out ("nice." "good." "it was nice and good."). Also, there's another eerie similarity to Ellen...although J.Lo's star is fading a bit ("The Back-Up Plan" and "Louboutins," anyone?), she's still pretty dang well-known. And history on "Idol" has shown that big stars are hard to swallow as a part of a panel that also includes Randy Jackson (the guy who played bass for "Journey," produced for Mariah Carey, and stuff), and potentially Kara DioGuardi (that one chick who wrote hits and all that). As "Idol" producers learned way back in season 1, when they unleashed Randy, Paula (then, a washed-up 80s star, quite frankly), and Simon (then, some cranky British dude) on the public, sometimes lesser-known is the way to go.
• As for Steven Tyler...I say nope. He's crude. His singing talent is debatable. ("Dream On"? Yes. Anything Aerosmith's attempted this decade? For the love of humanity, no.) And not to hit below the belt...but physically, age has definitely caught up to him in the worst way. Not that we're looking for another Heidi and Tim on "Project Runway" here or anything, but millions of people do attempt to watch this show for 4 months. And lighting only does so much. So...definitely not a fan of this possibility. But if it does indeed happen...I'll manage, I suppose. And finally, I actually want Kara to stay. She's the only other remaining panelist besides Randy (well, they are the ONLY two remaining panelists) with experience and music cred on the show (and unlike Randy, she can actually form coherent sentences that actually HELP...), and even though that's not the end-all of judging on American Idol, I think we need a bit of that on the show, no matter what happens.
• My favorite names that have been floated around as judges (likelihood is slim for all of them, but who knows?): HARRY CONNICK, JR. (as you can tell, I'd really love for him to be considered :) ), Shania Twain, Elton John (well, he's better than Steven Tyler, at any rate), and...OK, anybody else I'd love is kind of far-fetched at this moment. A few I wouldn't want to see, though, are Jessica Simpson, the aforementioned Steven Tyler, and pretty much anyone...obnoxious? There. That works. :)

Well, I've done enough typing for now. See you tomorrow (provided I actually follow through, dang it) for some more (extremely late, but at least you can remember them better) reminiscing of Season 9's Top 12.

Top 12 Profiles: Didi Benami

Name: Didi Benami

Hometown: "A little place I like to call...Los Angeles." (or as those stupid commercials from Disney Channel & the Brothers Who Must Not Be Named proclaim, "LA, LA, bab-ay...")

Age: 23

Place: 10th (gah!), eliminated during R&B/Soul Week

Best Semifinal Performance: Her intimate, delicious Top 16 week take on "Rhiannon" beats out her fine version of "The Way I Am" during Top 24 Week. It catapulted her into the finals, showed her smooth, distinctive vocals, and really just rocked (in an acoustic fashion).

Best Finals Performance: "Play With Fire" during Rolling Stones Week (wow, so far the first 3 finalists eliminated have had their best performances during the night where they all took on the Stones. Who would have thought?). Fiery (haha, pun :) ), committed, perfect. It really showed what Didi was capable of (sadly, that made things to come much, much more harder...).

• The Early Days: The audition rounds were nearly devoid of Didi's sparkling presence and loads of talent...that is, until the quite-glorious "The Best of The Rest"/"Road to Hollywood" episode where the producers actually decided to give us an hour of singing that was primarily good. (What a concept...)  Didi's audition of "Hey Jude" was beautiful...her tone was quirky but excellently controlled, her phrasing was unique but not awkward, her pitch was next to flawless, and she really made a strong impression with just a short snippet of a song. (The fact that Simon was unmoved by this, and flippantly gave Didi a "very small 'yes'" was nothing short of criminal. It's times like these that remind me that having Mr. Cowell gone now is not so bad.) Didi did end up bursting into tears afterwards, and her audition segment did end up feeling like it was dragging on too long, but that's the darn judges/producers' fault, and not poor Didi's (hello, she was auditioning for something that could change her life...and her friend just died, and she was singing for her...I definitely was willing to cut the girl some slack). Things only got better with Didi's truly revelatory take on "Terrified," a gorgeous Kara DioGuardi/Jason Reeves-penned tune that Katharine McPhee had released just a little bit earlier. Didi took no prisoners with her confident, stunning rendition. Finally, her last Hollywood Week performance, "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan, was not as flat-out terrific as her other two previous tunes, but it was still a nice choice by Didi, and it continued her 3-for-3 record going into the semifinals.
• Top 24 Week ("The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson): Beautiful, assured, and wonderfully nuanced, with a nice, intimate arrangement. (I don't even want to think what this would have been like with a 'full-band' treatment...aieee...) A little tiny bit flat at some points, but I thought Didi really nailed it (and introduced hopefully a good segment of the public to the terrific songcraft of Ingrid Michaelson...VIVA LA INGRID!), and the fact that it was a very current song choice was very wise on her part. Simon's whining about the number being 'indulgent' (oh, please let his replacement NEVER utter that pointless word) and a little public disdain about how it wasn't all that and a bag of chips definitely soured a bit of the momentum Didi should have gained, but she still moved on to the next round, and it was an excellent way to start off her semifinal run. 
• Top 20 Week ("Lean On Me" by Bill Withers): OK, just listened to this again on YouTube for the first time since March...and I was surprised at how much better I liked it than back then. I still noticed Didi had a few pitch and control issues (she went flat and a bit all over the place at a few moments) this time around, but her performance sounded much more cohesive and it worked a lot better hearing it again. So I actually like it now. It showed a different side of Didi's vocals (a side that she polished and presented much more effectively two weeks later with "Play With Fire"), and it was miles better than quite a few of the other contestants. The fact that the judges tore it to shreds (example: what was with Randy's stupid, patronizing "Hey, how ya doin', it's American Idol, yeah!" intro to his critique? ugh...) was lamentable. Then, I kind of agreed with it, sadly. Now, I look back on it with sadness as well...but because I didn't quite give it enough credit then. What were you 4 guys on behind the table? (Danny Gokey juice? OK, sorry, I couldn't resist...)
• Top 16 Week ("Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac): For once, I actually don't have much to say beyond what I said that week. Roll the tape:  "I'm not of the persuasion that thinks that Didi should stick herself in a guitar-slinging 'coffeehouse' corner and stay there (haughty pigeonholing is strictly verboten in my book), but I have to admit tonight's return to her cozy acoustic roots was very welcomed on my part. Her finger-picking, delicious cover of "Rhiannon" was truly excellent, driven by smooth, almost perfectly on-pitch vocals and a subtle reimagining of the tune. Like her very good take on "The Way I Am" two weeks ago, Didi fiddled with the melody in the best way, and adding onto the skills displayed in that performance, she really brought some understated life into the song. I audibly expressed my joy at multiple points while she was singing." So, to recap, it was an excellent return to form for Didi, I loved it to pieces, and to add, it was just at the right time...it propelled Ms. Benami to a well-deserved spot in the Top 12. Definitely a "moment" for Didi.
• Top 12 Night/Rolling Stones Week ("Play With Fire"): To this day I can still distinctly remember, with no effort at all, Didi's top-notch version of this Stones tune (one that, like nearly all of the songs that night, I did not know)...granted, I've listened to both the recording and the studio version quite a bit since then, but still, Didi really made her mark with this performance that really had its fair share of fire. Her vocals were spot-on. She attacked her lines with the fury of a cobra (let me know if that analogy doesn't quite work...), yet it sounded effortless. And her phrasing was brilliant. BRILLIANT, I tell you. (OK, I'll try to keep my fanboy urges down a wee bit...) With the previous week's excellent take on "Rhiannon," Didi made a case for herself as a top 12 finalist. With "Play With Fire," Didi made a case for herself as an "American Idol" winner. (These were the glorious days when a Siobhan/Crystal/Didi final three was still a grand possibility, as I noted in my recap then. See below for how that wonderful dream fell apart, due to the unbearable cruelty of Idol's voting public. :/ )
• Top 11 Night/Billboard #1 Week ("You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt, most famously): Like I began my revisiting of Paige Miles' semifinal trainwreck of "Smile" during last week's profile, I shall start off this section with the phrase, "and this is where things got ugly." But this time, I'm not talking about the performance...I'm talking about the judges. Didi pulled off a fine version of this (admittedly 30+ years old, but still dang good) Linda Ronstadt hit, complete with an excellent, swing-driven rearrangement, and very convincing and charming interplay with the bassist, and yet the judges attacked her for it. I thought it was a strange but still very good song choice (it fit Didi's voice like a glove), and she performed it extremely well. Kara, Simon, Ellen, and Randy going to town on it (and Simon even went for the obvious, unfunny pun that it was "no good") was highly unwarranted. And it only was a sign of things to come...
• Top 10 Night/R&B-Soul Week/The Week That Brandon Wept ("What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" by Jimmy Ruffin): Like this. The week that it all ended. The week that Didi, by far one of the best voices in the competition that deserved nothing less than a 3rd-place finish (and perhaps even more than that), was eliminated without even a tear by a merciless voting public obsessed with scratchy Lee, "cute" Tim, and high-schooler Aaron Kelly rather than actual talent and vocal ability. OK, so I'm going off on a tangent right now. Let's return to what I thought of the performance, shall we? I liked it. Back then, I was a bit ambivalent on it. But listening to it now, and listening to it afterwards (on my iPod, baby), and all that...it just clicked. I saw it as emotionally powerful and committed rather than over-the-top and dramatic. I saw her liberties with the melody as artistic rather than demonstrations of how Didi was supposedly 'lost.' (And let's not forget that this was the infamous critique where Simon decided to bash the hard-working "Dancing With The Stars" singers. For the third time in this recap, I must proclaim that I am glad to see that bratty little Brit gone.) The pitch was there. The emotional investment (which definitely was missing from a lot of performers this season) was there. The distinctive, powerful vocals were there as well. Didi laid it out all out on the stage, and yet she was roundly criticized for it. And on top of that, $#%!ing Ryan Seacrest had to go and hunt for Didi's tear ducts with an awkward, painful, bordering-on-cruel Q-and-A afterwards when he kept digging at Didi, asking why she had picked that particular song (Didi, for her part, wisely and impressively chose not to give in and resisted any crying/fishing for votes). Next night, America sent her home, and even after a beautiful reprise of Didi's shining moment with "Rhiannon," the judges refused to save her (yet they used the save the very next week on Michael Lynche...ugh). Shameful, "Idol." Simply shameful.

Do I think Didi should have made it to the finals? Um, I think you might have been able to gather the answer to that by now...

Do I think she deserved the place she got? Ya think??? Nope. Didi's way-too-early ouster was yet another criminal moment in Season 9. (Plus, she was the third girl in a row to get sent home. What is with teeny-bopper's irrational hatred of female vocalists??)

Will I buy her CD, whenever it comes out? Like heck I will. And it had better come out soon. Didi deserves nothing, and I repeat NOTHING, less.