Yet again I find myself posting a wee bit late, though this time I can actually say "wee bit late" rather than "oh, kind of, y'know, a week late or so...cough cough." The ballroom played host to only 8 couples this week (and now it's 7), so even though I also have the results show to address, I'll try to combine everything into one post this time around. And the couple that left us this week is...
- Florence & Corky. It's a bummer, because I really thought Florence was doing well and improving, and more importantly, she's dang fun and charming. Her tango on Monday wasn't too bad...the head-jerking was a bit awkward, and I tweeted that night that I felt it was a bit low on content, but it definitely wasn't elimination material. (In a departure from my usual attitude, I actually thought the "Brady Bunch" theme fit the tango well. At least it wasn't like some other musical choices Monday night...rantings to come.) There have been a few Internet rumblings that Florence was hurt by her innuendo-with-a-wink playfulness with Barry Williams, her former sitcom son and apparently my doppleganger (according to my family). Personally, I thought it was all in good fun (for the most part) myself. I've watched a few episodes of "The Brady Bunch" (Cindy staring at the camera...classic), and the show and its characters have a special place in my heart (except you, Fake Jan! OK, I have to admit I only learned about her evil ways from an excellent TV moments book I read... :) ), but I do have to admit I didn't grow up with the show, so I can't speak for all of you children of the 70s. Still, they're adults. She's 76 and he's 56. Give them a break. Anwyays, Florence, we'll miss you, and Corky...next partner you get (if you're lucky), actually give them some normal choreography!
- The rest of the results show: So far this season (and for most of last, if I remember right), DWTS has been pretty spot-on in picking their musical guests. Some of them have been "meh," but most of them have been fairly good/excellent. (Heck, even Daughtry & Santana surprised me with their live performance prowess.) Well, I might be in the minority here, but I think they have officially dropped the ball with Jason Derulo. His performances were...as I noted on Twitter rather bluntly..."pretty much a bunch of crap." He couldn't hack it on his live version of his own song ("In My Head"), sounding thin, out of breath, and even reverting to pre-recorded AutoTune for a little bit during the chorus. The dancing wasn't that great either. (Cliche coming in 3, 2, 1...Why is he popular? But really. Sad.) As for his cover of Ray Charles' classic "Georgia On My Mind"...no. Just no. Granted, although Ray recorded (without question) the definitive version, there have been many others that have done incredible justice to the song. But melisma-happy Mr. Derulo was not one of them. It made me die inside, pretty much. Thankfully, the other musical guest (who should have gotten two numbers instead...I bet she could have done better with "Georgia" than Jason did) was much, much, much better. Shakira was hot, spicy, and...I mean, she did a great job. Her live vocals were pretty impressive (after a little shakiness at the start).The dancing was...
sexy amazing. Viva la Shakira!
- And because that bullet was getting too long...the fake commercials. Oh my. Loved the Bruno one (like I tweeted, Tiny Bruno would be immensely proud...do the naughty puma!), thought the "Easy Steps" one was 'meh' (though the Derek Hough being worth only $150 bit was priceless), and as for the David Hasselhoff "Hammer" one...no comment. :) And finally...the Mwano family...amazing. Their dance with the pros was terrific, and the whole story about how they bravely escaped the tragic hardships of the Congo, and how their mom didn't even know they were going to perform...wow. I definitely was very, very close to tears.
Now to the remaining couples...this is getting a bit long, ain't it? Oh well, we press on...
- Brandy & Maks (27/30, quickstep): Best dance of the night. Fast, fun, charming, great choreography, wonderfully executed. (And who knew the "Friends" theme song had more than one verse?!?) The judges made the right pick for their encore. As for the "Brandy/Maks hate each other" issue...I still honestly think they don't. Sure, they have tension in rehearsal, but pretty much every couple does. I think that one week where Brandy made the controversial "the solo was his idea!" comment, and they were fighting in rehearsal (coupled with the bottom-slapping from last week) spiraled into a "look, they're fighting! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" situation, where everyone (the media, the producers, fans of the show) jumped to brand them as bitter enemies. I think the sweet, charming, adorable relationship they showed in their quickstep on Monday was proof that that's not the case...and not just because Maks and Brandy are great at acting or something. They really are friends, and although they fight and argue (hello, it's Maks...since when has that ever not happened with him?), I believe things between them are ultimately all good.
- Kurt & Anna (24/30, quickstep): This week was the battle of "Bewitched" vs. Belka and Strelka...and "Bewitched" apparently won. (Though Belka and Strelka, as I learned from Wikipedia, were the first Earth-born dogs, or animals of any kind, to come back from a space mission alive. Yay!) The American-Russian culture clash between Kurt & Anna was fun, and Anna ended up actually having an impressive Samantha nose-wiggle. It was a delightful, energetic quickstep (I loved the 'magic' effects), and Kurt seemed pretty light on his feet and on top of things. His best dance so far? I would dare say yes.
- Audrina & Tony (23/30, rumba): What to do about Audrina? I'm definitely of the opinion that she's still a contender for the finals (her waltz & quickstep earlier in the season were excellent), but this week's rumba was a bit sleepy and continued to show weaknesses in her performance quality. Granted, they did have to do it to a not very rumba-friendly song (Natasha Bedingfield's lovely but ubiquitous hit "Unwritten"), and as we found out on Tuesday night, the band had a slip-up. But aside from that, it wasn't a very romantic/exciting rumba. Worrying signs that Audrina needs to step it up stylistically...but I maintain my position that I think she could take it all the way, if she brings her A-game in all aspects. (And stays away from eating any raw onions. :D)
- Kyle & Lacey (20/30, foxtrot): Well, the good news about Kyle this week is that we learned that if they're casting a "Charlie's Angels" reboot, they need look no further than Lacey, Kym, and Chelsie. (I would watch that show in a heartbeat. :) ) The bad news? Oh, a little something called the dance. The producers continued their streak of giving out simply crazy foxtrot songs (besides Jennifer & Derek below, Kurt & Anna have been the only couple this season to receive an actual foxtrot-friendly number...and it was "Bad Day," of all things...), and dealt Kyle & Lacey a doozy with the aforementioned "Angels" theme song. It kind of worked, but it was also kind of a complete mess. I'm kind of torn, though, on how to react to the judges...they definitely should have realized that it was a theme night, and that given the musical choice Lacey couldn't really choreograph much of a traditional foxtrot. However, they did bring up some fair points about Kyle's technique. And like Len, I wasn't really too much a fan of the dance. Although 20 was an incredibly low score, it didn't quite seem unfair to me...a sign that Kyle really needs to improve and polish his dancing.
- Rick & Cheryl (24/30, rumba): I sheepishly admit I didn't know which show this theme song came from until later ("Hill Street Blues"? OK...), but that aside, Rick did a very good job Monday night. His rumba was fairly romantic, smooth, and Cheryl did a great job of choreographing around the theme, but also keeping it firmly in the "rumba" category. It was well-danced, well-played, and I really liked it. Rick is back on track to go further in the competition, I think.
- Bristol & Mark (18/30, jive): Let's start this off with my Twitter thoughts after the dance, since I think they describe my feelings pretty concisely: "Fun start with the monkey suits for Bristol, it lost a bit of steam in the middle, but a terrific finish, I thought." The monkey-suit beginning kind of reminded me of the Jabbawockeez-inspired beginning of Shawn and Mark's terrific freestyle in season 8...in that they started off in fun costumes and had to hurriedly shed them a little bit into the dance. Sadly, on second watch, Bristol wasn't as nimble in her monkey suit as Shawn was in her costume...and the middle of the dance flatlined, and was kind of a mess. However, I thought she really pulled it together in the last third of the number, with a good amount of energy and movement (though I can see the viewpoint that the judges held, that she was a bit off the beat). That said...I like Bristol. I think she has great potential as a dancer. Still, her being announced as safe right off the bat last night was kind of a shocker (she had the lowest score of the night and isn't that beloved by what I've seen, after all), and I can't help feeling it should have been her going home. Hopefully she can rebound next week, but if not, next Tuesday night will probably be the date of her departure.
- Jennifer & Derek (25/30, foxtrot): Partly due to the fact that they actually got a proper foxtrot song (Frank Sinatra's jaunty "Love and Marriage"), unlike 90% of the couples this season (darn producers!), I really liked this performance. The 50s/TV theme was well-incorporated, and it was precise, fun, and charming. So where were the judges' tepid scores coming from? It was a fine dance, without any discernible shortcomings, and while a 10 might have been stretching it, it was definitely worthy of at least a 9. Jennifer and Derek's rehearsal blowout on the other hand? Ouch. That was not fun to watch. Let's hope that kind of fighting stays out of their future on-camera footage, or this couple could lose a great deal of viewer support.
So there you have it. Week 5 of "Dancing With The Stars" (spoken by the trusty "disembodied British voice,"
Alan Dedicoat :) )! I'll hopefully be back later this week with some best-dances-of-all-time posting (sadly, I no longer have the 30 dances the producers picked for reference, but I can get by otherwise), and, as I always mean to, some long-overdue "American Idol" Top 12 profile action. For now, enjoy your week, and viva la DWTS!
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