The Playlist Is Up. The Dancing Shall Commence. :)

I got the "DWTS" related playlist (courtesy of the deliciously cool playlist.com) up! Most of the songs are ones related to dancing in general ("We're All In The Dance," "Save The Last Dance for Me, of course "Dancing With Myself," etc.), and I also will add as the season progresses, any songs that are danced to on the show that I enjoy. (Currently on there...hey, there weren't many I liked...are "Grace Kelly," "The Best Is Yet To Come," "I Want You Back," and "Ran Kan Kan.") In addition, I will add any cool guest performers' songs, like the amazing Joss Stone! (Well, once I can find any of her music on the Playlist.com thingy...) Enjoy the music, and enjoy the recaps! Cheese out!

Week 2 Results: Taking Care of Business (Moguls)

Well, another week of "DWTS" has come and gone. Once again, the elimination was pretty spot-on, and I didn't mind one bit. In fact, I actually welcomed it. Why, do you ask? Read on and find out. Plus hear about all the crazy results-show randomness that went on, as well. Three, two one...RECAP! :)

• The Elimination: It was Kathy, in the ballroom, with the frilly pink dress. Ms. Ireland never got the hang of dancing, and I definitely never got the hang of her stiff personality. She was nice...but it was a stilted, measured kind of nice. The kind that puts you to sleep. Very, very slowly. So, as you can see, I'm not sad to see her go. The dance floor will be more interesting without her. That said, she tried, and she had fun. Good for her. Now she can get back to her kids (cue sincere "awww"), and take care of her billion-dollar domestic retail empire. Side note: Ms. Kmart (last time I'll call her that) earned family-friendly points (with me, at least) by editing the meaning of "katony" as "bad donkey couple," rather than...oh, just think of the Bible. And what they call donkeys there. (I didn't even realize it until about thirty seconds later...which tells you how fast my reaction time is...and also made it a bit more funny. Yay for being clean!)
• The Music (since I watched the whole show this time, I'm going to split "The Other Stuff" category to make this more organized-ish): Joss Stone just may be the best live performer on "DWTS" in a long time. Her voice was pitch-perfect (a rarity in "DWTS" singing territory) and delicious. Her backup singers were feisty. Her wardrobe was classy (though I could have used some sleeves and whatnot). And she even threw in a little light dancing (future contestant?!?). The producers were wise to give her two songs, rather than to the underwhelming but passable Selena Gomez, another Disney darling trying to make her way in the music scene. Gomez was OK at singing...and it's to be applauded that she's going the slightly-alternative route...but still, I can't imagine her getting too far with such by-the-numbers talents, and a cookie-cutter band. Sorry, Selena. I didn't feel the magic. (Yeah, ANOTHER person I can make lame magic puns with!)
• The Rest: I kind of liked the revelation format they used tonight--grouping couples by their score, since there were 2-4 at every level. It was a good way to deal with the mammoth cast (I still can't believe there's still THIRTEEN people...) The bad thing...Debi landing in the Bottom 2. While I wouldn't die if she got booted...well, I wouldn't die if anyone got booted, come to think of it...anyways, what I'm saying is that she's somewhat expendable, I'd like her to stay around for a bit. She's engaging, fun, and she needs to teach Maks a lesson or two. (Maybe these 7 or so seasons have been getting to him.) So America, keep the Mazar in! Aaron and Joanna, you can kick out till the cows come home. Other random comments: We get to vote for a former star to be in the "Design-a-Dance"! Except HOW am I supposed to choose between Shawn, Kristi, and MEL B?!?!? This is a decision that will most certainly divide my soul. (Or something like that.) And backstage in the middle of the show, how did Samantha not bring up something about Donny saying "you can't breathe" with all the tension during elimination night, with Natalie, she who holds her breath chronically, right next to her? (After all, she did go for the "Shall we dance?" pun last night with Kathy.) It would have totally worked! Maybe she thought that since Natalie never breathes anyway, the nervousness of the results show wouldn't make a difference. Who knows? The segment about the new dance training center was snazzy. Do they really help/spy on each other? If so, I eagerly await the spin-off show chronicling the lives of the contestants while training. It could be like a fun, not disgusting "Big Brother"!

Before I end this recap, I bid a fond farewell...oops, that sounds like he's dying...OK, a hearty wave goodbye to our excellent guest judge for the week, Baz Luhrmann. He held his own with the judges, giving excellent, specific critiques (a la Carrie Ann, Len, and...on a good day, Bruno...) and giving some generous scores to deserving contestants. I even liked him better than Michael Flatley a few seasons ago! After all, Baz had a much cooler accent. (Australian with a hint of...exotic-ness? Heck yes! :) ) Hopefully he'll be back again sometime. He pretty much rocked.

That's all for now! Come back next week for more delicious recap fun. And I should be getting up that dance-related playlist within the night or week. If there is anyone actually reading this, tell your friends, and be sure to follow! Cheese out! :)

Week 2: The Steps Were Quick & The Dancing Was Jive

Hola, amigos! We proceed to yet another week (actually, only the second) of America's favorite dance competition...at least, their favorite one with wacky celebrities. This week, the guys and girls danced together in one show...which is cool, because we can see them all together...but annoying, because I have about 40 minutes to write about 14 dancers, all while watching about half of the show for the ones I didn't see. Crunch time? That would be a yes. And while Hulu is quite graciously playing last night's episode for me...let us press on into recap-land!

• Joanna and Derek (20/30, jive): "Good morning Joanna." (Sorry, just had to indulge myself with a creepy "Stepford Wives" quote there...) Judging as she tied for first place last week, it may be surprising that I still don't like Joanna. But I just don't. For starters, he seems to be in a competition with (the thankfully departed) Edyta for who can wear the least clothes. I literally closed my eyes at some points because of its severe lack of fabric and presence of...ahem, certain upper elements. And the dance itself was, like the judges said, not so clean. And (am I turning into Len?), it wasn't really a jive. More like an excuse for Ms. Krupa to exhibit (quite a lot of) her body, and sorta kinda look good at dancing. It didn't really succeed...at least with me. Maybe the voters'll do a Sabrina and send her home for her 4-point drop! We can only hope. (That sounded vicious. I don't really care, to tell the truth. Maybe I really AM turning into Len...)
• Natalie & Alec (21/30, quickstep): I was charmed by Natalie's potential-full salsa last week, and this week's improved quickstep was no different. It was adorably disturbing that Ms. Coughlin forgets to breathe...she IS a mermaid! Perhaps we should name her Ariel. (Like my sister!) Her propensity to hold her breath aside, she is making great progress as a dancer, and I agree with Carrie Ann, Natalie is fun to watch. (Even while being forced to QUICKSTEP to "I Want You Back"...love the song, but it's definitely not a quickstepping tune.) Can the "Queen of the Chlorine" (oh, Tom, you and your rhymes...) pull out of the middle of the pack, though? With a ringing endorsement from the aforementioned Ms. Inaba and a strong sense of commitment, as long as Natalie keeps those smiles and moves coming, methinks she will.
• Chuck & Anna T. (19/30, tango): The Iceman still has "mid-season elimination" written all over him, though the tango he turned in tonight (alliteration!) was a bit more technically sound. I personally thought it was a bit too jerky (remember me saying that Chuck could actually throw Anna around? he kind of did...), but he is doing better, and he is sure to survive at least a few weeks longer. (At least if Anna stops ripping his shirt open at the end of the dance. That part was a bit too Dmitry-ish for my taste.)
• Melissa & Mark (19/30, jive): She's still bewitchingly awkward. (Come on, do you think I can stay away from the puns?) But tonight she added a bit of skill and finesse, and above all, confidence to that awkwardness, jiving to her heart's content in yet another Mark-approved polka-dotted ensemble. (I clearly remember Shawn and Kristi BOTH being subjected to the Minnie look. I smell stale ideas, Mr. Ballas...) Part of the dance didn't exactly click, but especially in the second half, the artist formerly known as Sabrina really took off. Keep getting better, Melissa! And by the way, if you folks ever want to imagine what I would be like on "DWTS," just watch Ms. Hart's rehearsal footage...and multiply the clumsiness by a hundred. And ten. :)
• Michael & Anna D. (20/30, quickstep): The rehearsal-ness was a mixed bag...Michael dropped some form of expletive and seemed frustrated at first. Then he got intense...and he and Anna (with a D.) practiced deep into the night. Every day. All this commitment didn't prepare for me for what was to come...Michael brought the energy! With the biggest and most genuine of smiles, looked like he was having the time of his life, period. With a vibrancy that pretty much diametrically opposes the severe grumpiness of last season's football player, Michael's quickstep came alive even with a few wonky steps. Even with a dismal (and somewhat undeserved) 13 last week, the Woz he is not. Dance on, Mr. Irvin! You've got a lot of heart.
• Debi & Maks (21/30, tango): Does Maks consider it his job to make all his partners cry? Of course, Denise last season would have cried even if she would have been paired with a kindly grandfather, but really, Mr. Chmerkovskiy needs to tone down the jerk-ness. She has a mean slap, and she's not afraid to use it! As for Debi's tango, it was appropriately intense and skillful. Debi isn't completely there yet (much like the disturbingly weird Bela Lugosi-like arrangement of "Roxanne"...Sting should sue), but she's pretty darn good already. Keep your eyes on the prize, Ms. Mazar, and you just may be able to prove to that mean little Maks that you can make it on the dance floor!
• Louie & Chelsie (19/30, jive): The young snowboarder certainly didn't do himself any favors in the costume department...a hood for a jive? A HOOD?!?! (Though it did provide a very weird, but hilarious opportunity for Bruno to say "in da hood," as only Bruno can...) But as for his dancing, I really enjoyed it. I didn't really see too much of the rhythmic and footwork-wise mistakes that the judges picked on him about...but maybe it's just the high-speed Hulu viewing getting to me. He's fun, he's a fish out of water, and he is increasing in his potential (rather than just letting it sit there). And surprisingly limber for someone who's never danced before. Yeah, Louie!
• Aaron & Karina (AKA Kermit &...Miss Piggy?!?!) (27/30, quickstep): Whereas during Debi's rehearsal footage I wanted to join in the mean-Maks slapfest, here I wanted to clock Aaron one for being such a brat. Whining and making excuses? That earns you no points in my book. On the contrary, I cannot wait until the week when Aaron invariably slips up somehow and, hopefully, America has the good sense to kick him to the curb. It takes a lot of empty cutesiness and fake charm (which Mr. Carter has by the boatload) for me to be left cold by a dance involving two Muppets ("Animal! Animal!")...by the way, how is it fair that they got to use them? Next week, Kelly should call dibs on Beaker...but believe you me, Aaron certainly did it. His dancing may be competent, but his personality is definitely not.
• Kelly! & Louis (19/30, tango): Ah, poor Kelly! She shot so amazingly out of the gate last week, but this week, thanks to nervousness, her tango was a bit underwhelming. At least to the judges...I may be stricken with a case of lovestruck bias, but I thought her dance was none too bad. It was classy, if a bit disjointed at parts. Whatever you thought of it, it most certainly did not mean the former "wild child" should be booted from the competition. If America sends her home...I just may cry. After all, she's so modest and charming! Perhaps I'll make a visit to my Mel B shrine before the results show...OK, I'm not THAT obsessed... :)
• Ms. Kmart Kathy & Tony (18/30, quickstep): Last week, I was wholeheartedly calling for this stilted businesswoman's ouster. This week is no different, folks...Ms. Ireland's dance once again lacked charm, excitement, and energy. The song was bland, and Kathy was even more so. Her sound bites are still painfully awkward ("Tomorrow night, we're bringin' i-uh-i-uh-it..."), and she's plumb crazy if she thought she brought (hey, rhyme!) the "real Kathy." Send her home. Like Carrie Ann said (hey, I agree with her a lot, do I not?), with 14 dancers, you have to stand out, and the only way the Kmart lady stood out was in how monumentally unimpressive she was. Harsh, I know...but true.
• Mark & Lacey (21/30, quickstep): Once again, Mark pulled out an excellent dance that the judges were inexplicably underwhelmed by. Sure, he fell at first (I didn't really notice, to tell the truth), but his quickstep was chock-full of zip, fire, and spirit. And good technique, for the most part. It was also devoid of kung fu, which is good since even with Len out of town, it would have seemed woefully out of place in a quickstep. Don't know why he isn't getting the 8s or 9s that he deserves, but that is sure to change in the weeks to come. Mark (not Kathy) is definitely the one who "has nowhere to go but up."
•  Mya & The Guy Who Actually Wore A Shirt This Week (oh yeah, his name is Dmitry) (27/30, jive): Boom, baby! With Len gone and much more content abound (in uncharacteristic cranky-Brit fashion, I actually didn't really care for the gimmicky start), Mya cooked it tonight! Her dance was technically terrific (you know I loves me some alliterations) and delightful to watch. It was like...here I go prematurely comparing her to past winners...seeing Shawn or Kristi on the floor. I kid you not. Judging from her excellent performances the first two weeks, Mya and her impossible-not-to-love personality are heading to the top...and staying there. And if Dmitry can keep his shirt on every week (ha!), that's definitely a plus. (Side note: That song was WEIRD. "Will you go to bed with me?" No, budget singer, especially not if you croon strange numbers that involve awkward speaking parts.)
• Tom & Cheryl (18/30, tango): Yes, we know his nickname is "The Hammer"...but Tom B., how many times are you going to refer to him as such? (That, or something related to "Washington" or "Capitol Hill.") Stale references notwithstanding, Mr. DeLay definitely improved his credibility this week with a uber-classy tango, one that provided more dignity, and better footwork, than both his psychotically strange performance to "Wild Thing" and Viennese waltz relay last Monday. And he did it all with an ailing foot. I have to admit, I was fearing that Tom might pull a Marie after he had trouble holding Cheryl up, followed by being very out of breath. But thankfully, he stayed strong, and he's actually becoming a dancer. Not very close to getting there...but small steps, small steps.
• Donny & Kym (25/30, jive): I'm still not completely warmed up to the Osmond sibling's ahem, energetic approach to the dance floor (and his painfully awkward rehearsal sound bites), but the brother of Marie definitely knows how to charm. And his footwork isn't too bad either. No votes from me again (and I live in Utah too! I guess I'm a rebel...), but I don't, by any means, dislike him. If he can show a little more balance (to his showy, brassy showiness) and "the cool factor," we just may have a deserving front-runner on our hands. For now, this theatrical soul has a bit of fine-tuning to do.

With 5 minutes until the results show to go (naturally):

My Faves: Natalie, Melissa, Michael, Louie, Kelly, Mark, and Mya. (Yep, I like 'em all. :D)

Run Home, Run Home: Joanna, Aaron, and Kathy.

Stay And Dance A Spell: Debi, Chuck, Tom, and Donny.

See you all (whoever reads this...I'm sure SOMEONE does... :) ) in an hour or so! May the eliminations be swift and accurate. For now....cheese out! :)

Week 1 Results: The First Cuts Are The Cleanest

Wow, it's been a LONG time since I posted on this thing...two whole hours! (And a half.) OK, so I just finished my night 2 post as the results show was starting. Is that a crime? I think not. As for the results show, due to unforeseen circumstances (and, of course, me getting my recap done late), I wasn't able to watch all of it as I planned. However, I don't think I missed much...Miley Cyrus' new video (which I assume was to the uber-catchy, but also uber-shallow, "Party in the U.S.A.")? Sean Kingston? The first elimination, which went exactly as I predicted? I could not have cared less. Well, let's get to the parts I did get to see...and of course, my reaction to the eliminations. I would say SPOILER ALERT, but since no one is reading this blog at the moment, and you've probably seen the show already and know what happened, I won't bother. If you really care, though, you can close your eyes. I won't mind. :)

• The Eliminations (bum bum bum): Ashley Hamilton gave his last (and only) waltz on Monday, on the men's side. This was the elimination I missed, and it didn't surprise me one bit. While Mr. Hamilton (or shall we call him George's son?) was unexpectedly charming and had a somewhat inspiring personal story, his dancing just...wasn't good. Couple that with his subpar level of fame, and you've got a typical case of "first week DWTS reject." As for the women, I wasn't too shocked at Macy's ouster, but really, was she better than Kathy? Weeell...maybe not. But she was certainly more interesting and genuine, which was why I was totally rooting for Macy in the tense split-screen showdown that precedes any elimination. She was unpredictable, wacky, and cool as a cucumber. (And I didn't vote for her!) What probably happened was that Kathy had the older (or at least older than 18) crowd in the palm of her hand voting-wise, and Ms. Gray didn't. And you all know which age group watches this show in greater numbers. I guess you can't win them all, I suppose. Hopefully America will be merciful next week and realize that the bland Mrs. Kmart's time is up.
• The Other Stuff: I tuned in just in time to see the cast of "The Lion King" give a killer performance on the "DWTS" floor. Nice. (And Tom Bergeron's comment about Tom DeLay taking special interest in the large elephant? I laughed. Though mostly just because it was related to politics.) The tribute to Patrick Swayze was very well-done, also. (Confession time: I've never seen a Patrick Swayze movie. Sorry, but I just haven't. I'm sure he was great in them, though.) And that's pretty much all I saw. Weird.

The Last Word: America (or at least, the portion of America that actually takes time to vote for "DWTS") got it mostly right this week, their only vice being the elimination of the deliciously weird Macy rather than the painfully dull Kathy. (At least Macy wasn't actually a great dancer. Then it would actually hurt.) The aforementioned Mrs. Kmart (I'm so calling her that now...) is likely doomed next Tuesday, unless she pulls out some vastly improved dancing skills, or someone else ends up doing worse. A LOT worse. Low scorers this week Michael and Tom are likely to get better (well, Tom might not, but he sure has the novelty factor going for him, so he's not foxtrotting off the floor anytime soon), so yeah...Kathy's "DWTS" run is likely to be very short.

I've gotten through my first week of recaps! I'm not entirely sure anyone is reading this blog at this point, but I hope you (whoever you are) enjoyed it...I'll be back next week with lots more. Keep dancing, keep reading, and keep spreading the word. Cheese out!

Week 1, Part 2: It's Ladies' Night, And The Feeling's...???

Here we are, my second recap...coming just 50 minutes before the results show airs here in Provo. Procrastination much? Actually, it's more like classes all day and working on paper this morning much, for once. Well, enough of this mishegas...let's get right to business. Viva la DWTS!

• Debi Mazar & Maks (they even shorten it now on the show!) (16/30 for salsa, 3rd in foxtrot relay): Debi is one of those "DWTS" celebrities that presents an interesting predicament...you know her face, but you likely didn't know her name until the mysterious British announcer called, "Dancing the salsa, it's Debi Mazar, and her partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy!" She's a veteran character actress, popping up in everything from "Beethoven 2nd" to "The Women" to "Entourage." (Bleh, yeah!, and couldn't care less.) So she doesn't necessarily have a built-in fan base...but she does sure as heck have a personality, and it's a fun one. Her ADD and chatterboxing in rehearsals was pretty darn hilarious, and she definitely knows the balance between being a workhorse and being lively. Her dancing skills? OK. Her salsa was fun, albeit a little technically unsound. The judges' low score was a bit disheartening for the understated fireball, and her foxtrot was a bit disjointed, but I'm not ready to count her out yet. Didn't vote for her, but if she increases on her very evident potential, I just may be dialing for Debi.
• Melissa Joan Hart & Mark (18/30 for Viennese waltz, 3rd in cha cha relay): Ah, Melissa. She has charmed our hearts and she definitely has the magic touch. Some even would say she knows it all. OK, enough with the punniness...but really, how cool is it to have "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" on "Dancing"? Like Mark, I made sure to watch the show every day (although it was banned for a time in our house...don't ask...and it was on at night, so I don't really get the "rushing home from school" thing...), and now she's all grown up and whatnot. Tear? OK, that would be overdoing it...down to the nitty-gritty. Melissa isn't amazing as I thought she would be. However, her Viennese Waltz was chock-full of potential and elegance. (And it was accompanied by a surprisingly on-point version of "The Time of My Life," by a much-improved band.) She did seem a bit nervous, but still, weren't you feeling the love, judges' table? It was classy and nice. Hopefully she'll upgrade to "beautiful and amazing" in the weeks to come...and work on her Latin skills, as contrary to the judges, I thought her cha cha was a little weak. Still, she's cast her spell on me...and my cell phone-dialing fingers. OK, that's the last pun I'll make. (Not. :) )
• Mya & Dmitry (21, should have been 24/30 for Viennese waltz, 1st in cha cha relay): It's pretty hard to hide the fact that Mya has a leg up in the competition...she says she hasn't been trained in dance, but still...you can't really deny it. She's a natural, for sure. I don't really mind, though, that she's slightly ahead of the game, because her personality is remarkably radiant and genuine, and to watch her dance (even with flagrant Anti-Heartthrob League violator Dmitry, who FINALLY openly admitted he makes a point of going shirtless, the dork...) is a delight. Her Viennese was terrific, marred only by Len having a cow (an evil cow, not a good one) about how the waltz was too "American smooth." I would understand docking her a point, maybe even two as a stretch. But a FIVE? Are you MAD, Mr. Goodman? That dance was amazing, and you know it. So stop your nit-picking now, please. Oh well. The lady with only one name and lots of dancing talent redeemed herself--both with the judges and anybody left that wasn't charmed by her first dance--with a fiery, Kristi/Sabrina-esque cha cha. Take that, cranky Brit who hasn't had his daily bath!
• Kathy Ireland & Tony (not the tiger) (16/30 for salsa, 4th in foxtrot relay): Remember the last few seasons, the raft of older women that have been dancing their hearts out on this here show? Jane Seymour charmed me til the end. Susan Lucci was...eh. (Yet somehow I voted for her. I don't rightly remember why.) And now Kathy Ireland, the former swimsuit model with a billion-dollar retail enterprise? Well...it was definitely more Susan than Jane. (And for those of you who say there isn't a difference, bah to you.) Her salsa was tepid and there were more than a few timid, misplaced steps. She wasn't completely a trainwreck, but it was just the kind of performance that lacked charm. Oh, charm...something that eludes Ms. Ireland. Her persona (both in rehearsal footage and in the green room) is sunny, but stilted. Much like her foxtrot. Lest this sounds like a merciless referendum on Kathy, I will say that she's not annoying. But she's not interesting, either, and in a field of 16 contestants, in addition to the fact that her fan base is likely to be very weak (she's rich and a model...two strikes, you're almost out), leaves her a very likely candidate for elimination.
• Natalie Coughlin & Alec (19/30 for salsa, 2nd in foxtrot relay): Are they putting something in the water at the Olympics? Natalie is the latest in a long line of stellar athlete/dancers (and Maurice Greene) to hail from Gold/Silver/Bronze-land, and while she has a bit to go, her salsa was engaging. Bruno hit it right on the nose (aah, I'm agreeing with Mr. Annoying!) about a certain quality of her dance--she had a tendency to freeze up a bit at points, which made her dance seem slightly disjointed. Still, it was full of energy, and Ms. Coughlin (Cog-lin, not Cough-lin, I have discovered) has nowhere to go but up. And her foxtrot? Holy cow. Class, poise, elegance, technique, and a sense of fun all combined to make an excellent 30 seconds. Come on, judges...join the club!
• Macy Gray & Jonathan (15/30 for Viennese waltz, 4th in cha cha relay): It would be easy to dislike Ms. Gray. After all, her dancing skills leave a lot to be desired, she at times seems bored and diva-esque in rehearsals, and she dropped ahem, the "cherry" bomb, prompting a little visit from the "DWTS" censors. (By the way, judges' reaction to that...inspired. Especially the hilariously squeaky Carrie Ann.) Still, I can't help not finding a place in my heart for the quirky Macy...she's just too delightfully weird for me NOT to like her. The judges aptly pointed out, she has a certain quality on the dance floor that's engaging, even if her steps most certainly aren't. (And oh my goodness, Bruno's riotously funny description of her as a "baby taking their first steps" was probably his finest hour. If only he could find the right judging formula so well every week...) Her VW surprised me for sure, and her cha cha was interesting, to say the least. Not voting for her at the moment, but if she gets eliminated, I will definitely miss her. At least a bit.
• Joanna Krupa & Derek (24/30 for salsa, 1st in foxtrot relay): Pardon me, folks...but I'm not exactly on the Joanna train yet. Her dancing skills? Very excellent. Still, I thought the salsa's sex appeal (duly noted by the judges) was a little too ham-handed...code, scandalous...with nothing to show for it. And her personality? 1-800-A Bit Obnoxious. And she fact that her foxtrot was a step below Natalie's, yet she took the 1st place spot anyways, is likely an omen of things to come...things that will likely bother me, things that involve her becoming a front-runner even when I'm left a bit cold when she takes the floor. She has the skills...but not the charisma. Sorry, Joanna.
• Kelly Osbourne & Louis (23/30 for Viennese waltz, 2nd in cha cha relay): What a wonderful surprise! Here I was expecting another Ozzy...after all, this is the young lady who grew up in a home taped by MTV and averse to throwing hams over their fence...but wow, did Kelly impress! An example of my thought process while watching the rehearsal footage, then the dance: "Whoa, she's like Mel B! Wait, no she isn't...lol, she called her dancing "crap!"...holy cowpies, she's good! Yep, I was right about the Mel B comparison." She's astoundingly winsome, has a smile that will make you all warm and fuzzy inside, and her parents (even Ozzy!) were nearly and/or already in tears by the end of her moving Viennese. Her cha cha was also a real treat. I never thought I'd say this, but Kelly for the win! Do it for Mel B!

(Quickly, the results show is already starting!!!)

My Faves: Kelly!, Natalie, Melissa, and Mya.

So Far, Not So Great: Kathy and Joanna.

Just There: Debi and Macy (though Ms. Gray gets extra points for quirkiness).

That's all the time I have. See you tonight for my results show recap! Cheese out! :)

Quick Rundown of The Links...

Since there isn't any feature to have me be able to describe each of the links I have posted on this site conveniently, and since I'm still in systematic-list-of-descriptions-and-opinions mode, I thought I might as well make a quick post describing them in a bit of detail.

• The bullets return! Oh darn, now I have to start a new one. :)
• Entertainment Weekly (officially known as EW.com): Basically the best pop-culture/entertainment site ever, it is the souped-up, totally interactive Internet counterpart to the excellent magazine of the same name. Why do I mention it? Because of the hilarious, excellent recaps of both "DWTS" and "Idol" (along with other reality shows, TV programs, and such) that inspired me to create this blog. Even though Idol isn't on, go and read the past 8 seasons' worth of recaps now! (Well, not all of them, unless you're psychotic like me...but a few from this past season would suffice.) And although you're already read these "DWTS" posts, some more wouldn't hurt, so be sure to check those out. All in all, a delightful site.
• Dancing With The Stars HQ: The official ABC site for the show you all know and love. Full of voting-ness (including the Design-a-Dance we all...enjoy? :D), bios, videos, and whatnot. And of course, full episodes!!! (Which post the day after, but it helps.) Tip on those: Google Chrome + ABC full episode player = bleh. Hulu has them, however, so we Chrome users are all saved from "DWTS" limbo. :)
• MSN Reality TV: Home of excellent "DWTS" recaps and painfully lame "American Idol" ones. Do I strongly recommend these? Not exactly, especially the bland "Idol" ones. But they always come out close to an hour after the show, so if you're hungry for someone else's opinion on the dancing or singing you just watched, this is the place to go. (Though the douche who writes on "Idol" drives me crazy. So don't listen to HIS opinion. :D)
• My Personal Blog: Self-explanatory. If you're a creeper, STAY AWAY. If you're my friend of some sort (which is a more likely scenario), read it to your heart's content. :)
• American Idol Central: AI's official site. Sometimes pointless and vapid,  sometimes useful (it posts the performance videos rather quickly, albeit without judges' feedback--though in the case of some judges...cough cough, Randy...that can be a good thing), this is the site to go to if you want some cold, hard information about the storied singing competition.

More links to come...such as the excellent "American Idol" blog by a writer for "The Guardian" (a Brit newspaper) that will charm your pants off, and other recommended sites. And I will be putting up a Playlist.com playlist (wow, redundance) in the next few days, that fits with this blog's theme. Keep reading, keep following, and keep watching! Cheese out! :)

Week 1, Part 1: Those Crazy Guys Take The Floor...

Well, here we are...my first recap! (Could I sound more like a hopelessly giddy schoolgirl? Well, I could, but you wouldn't want to see that.) I'm still kind of figuring out how to organize this...probably just in order because that's easiest...so anyways, here we go!

• Aaron Carter and Karina (22/30 for their cha cha, 1st in the waltz relay): Remember Lance Bass a few seasons ago? Was a really good dancer, got 3rd place, had a constant smile? Yeah...I didn't like him. And Mr. Carter here reminds me of that very same situation. He's very good, don't get me wrong, with excellent footwork and a lot of energy...but I just can't stand the guy. He seems too fake, too preppy, too..."I Want Candy"? (Which I will now have in my head for the rest of the night...) Maybe it's my Anti-Heartthrob League alarm going off, but I'm definitely not a fan of the former preteen singing sensation. At least Gilles last season was nice and unfailingly modest. Aaron just seems...there.
• Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya (16/30 for foxtrot, 3rd in the salsa relay): "DWTS" has long been an equal-manliness employer. We've seen the likes of Warren Sapp, Floyd Meriwether, and Wayne Newton (OK, maybe that last one's not the greatest example...) grace the ballroom floor. But Chuck Liddell, the pro fighter known as the "Iceman"? That's a bit of a stretch, even by "Dancing"'s flyaway celebrity standards. His foxtrot? Passable, but not too hot. And he still has a ways to go on energy and charm. His thirty seconds in the salsa weren't much better...he seemed like he was throwing Anna around. (And he's one of the few contestants that COULD actually throw Anna around...) Still, he's not annoying or pushy, and he seems to be dedicated to the show. I'm definitely not close to being a fan of him yet, but he only has room to improve.
• Mark Dacascos & Lacey (21/30 for cha cha, 2nd in waltz relay): His rehearsal footage may have been full of karate kicks and Lacey's squeals (I swear she was much more likable the first season she was on), but his dance...wow. The judge's tepid scores definitely fall under the category of "what?!?," as Mark showed a definite flexibility, charm, and, most prevalent of all, energy. (His kung fu, I think, actually kept him grounded...if he wasn't doing those strict kicks, Mr. Dacascos would have bouncing all over that floor...) Len (oh, you cranky Brit, you...) took issue with the gimmick...of course...but really, what's the problem, folks? He was precise, unique, and fun. What more can you ask for? Cloris Leachman? (Um...maybe we should move on now...)
• Ashley Hamilton & Edyta (15/30 for foxtrot, 4th in salsa relay): Poor Ashley. His only true claims to fame are his endlessly tanned father and typical Hollywood marriage to Shannen Doherty (that lasted five months...SIXTEEN years ago...), since we all know his label as "actor/songwriter/comedian" don't really count if, you know, no one's heard of him. That said, Ashley's dance wasn't completely horrible, and he was definitely much more engaging and charming than I thought he would be. (He wasn't helped, however, by the music, a rather awkward version of Mika's "Grace Kelly"...why do you try to harmonize, budget singers? WHY?!?) So while he was no Gilles, he was no Woz either. Do I find his story (just a while ago, he had to get around in a wheelchair) inspiring? Of course. Do I find his demeanor pleasant? Certainly. But do I really care if he (likely) gets booted tomorrow? To tell the truth, not really. (And as an added complication, he has Edyta...AKA "The Lady Who Wears Little Clothing"...as a partner. I doubt the DWTS Sewing department cares either way, though, what would they save? Three inches of fabric?)
• Donny Osmond & Kym (20/30 for can can foxtrot, 1st in salsa relay): I admit, I nearly fell out of my chair when Tom Bergeron offhandedly titled Donny the "Pride of Provo." (I am in Provo, hence the delightful connection.) But things didn't really keep up in fun from there...Donny's just a bit too awkward for my taste. His, ahem, showy foxtrot was good, but it wasn't amazing (and again, semi-derailed by the usually solid, but tonight uncharacteristically awful singers--though to their credit, whoever picked the woeful "All That Jazz" gave them a doozy...), and kind of overly cheesy. Donny's personality was no different, even while delivering a much more balanced (and technically sound) salsa. Still, he's likable (even with comments like "entertaining since I was an embryo"), and while I'm not yet moved to pull out my phone or Internet for him (as I was with Marie...oh, Marie...), if he makes it to the finals, I won't mind in the slightest. And even if they won't let him back into Utah because he danced sexily, I will. (As long as he brings Marie.)
• Louie Vito & Chelsie (19/30 for foxtrot, 2nd in salsa relay): Maybe it's just the Chelsie effect (I love her, she's so bubbly!). Or maybe it's the fact that Louie reminds me of Ty and his goofy charm. Or maybe I was just out of it. (Too much Kander and Ebb...OK, any Kander and Ebb...can do that to a guy.) But I liked Louie and his dancing. At first I was underwhelmed, but by the end of the foxtrot routine, Mr. Vito had come into his own and showed some real fish-out-of-water potential. And his salsa, which started off with a multi-backflip and ended with some respectable moves, only improved on that potential. On top of that, he seems completely committed even when he's never danced--or watched celebrities dance on this very program--EVER. If he follows the same trajectory as Ty last season, Louie's got a good upward ride ahead of him. If he turns out to just fizzle...then he'll definitely have a lot more training time for the Olympics in February. (Speaking of that...HOW does he have time to do this show? Aren't you supposed to train all year for that sort of thing? Oh, wait...that's true, you can't snowboard in the summer...or much of the fall...never mind.)
• Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova (13/30 for cha cha, 3rd in waltz relay): The obligatory position of "football player" has always been a mixed bag. On one hand, we've had gems like Warren Sapp, a jolly old soul with some light feet, and Emmitt Smith, the former Cardinal (woo hoo, Cardinals!) who cut a rug all the way to the season 3 crown. On the other...grumps like Lawrence Taylor, who spent 90 percent of last season whining and/or hinting about how he wanted to get back to his golf course, and had little ballroom talent (or personality) to dazzle us with. Michael lies somewhere in the middle...he's fun as heck to watch, but he's not exactly the most natural of dancers. His rehearsal footage, Jerry Rice afro picture obsessions and all, was nothing short of hilarious (finally, another person that talks to themselves! though I never do it in the mirror...), and he has loads of charm and energy. And, unlike Mr. Woods, I mean Taylor, in Season 8, he actually seems to like dancing (even if he did ask himself--in the mirror, of course--why he was there). The judges were a little harsh on him with a 13 for his cha cha (did they somehow get him confused with the Woz?). He was a bit more graceful with his waltz. I hope he stays for a bit and has some time to grow. (After all, if we gave Lawrence Taylor a month to do it...we might as well give Michael Irvin the same.)
• Tom DeLay (???) & Cheryl (16/30 for cha cha, 4th in waltz relay): Now this was just weird. I did give half my votes to Tom (much like Texas often did...), mostly because I had only seen a handful of dances and thought the novelty of a politician on "Dancing" was just too much to resist...but I'm not quite sure about the validity of my decision anymore. It was just...like Carrie Ann said, "surreal." So surreal, that I was cracking up every five seconds at the unintentional humor that popped up all over his rehearsal clips. Shaking his rear in the direction of the judges, and his disturbing in-dance shout-out to Bruno (which the Flamboyant Judge of Craziness all too gleefully acknowledged) were probably the most awkward moments the former Majority Leader had to worry about, but the ferocity in which he tore into his cha cha was more than a little disarming. A 62-year-old ultra-conservative jamming to "Wild Thing"? I never thought I would see the day. His waltz was much less creepy, as Tom displayed a more natural and at-ease sense of rhythm and grace. (And I dug the hand-kissing thing. Classy.) I may be more careful with my votes from now on, seeing as I'm kind of regretting giving four of them to such a non-dancer. But he's interesting, happy, and a former Representative, for land's sakes. How much more crazy can you get than that? Cloris Leachman? (Once again, let's move on...)

My Faves: Mark Dacascos (he's terrific! judges, take note), Louie Vito (Ty 2.0, he has a lot of room to grow and it looks like he can make that growth), and...just because he's completely out of his element but is fun...ish...to watch while doing so, Tom DeLay. Honorable mention for Michael Irvin, who charmed the heck out of me and showed potential.

So Far, Not So Great: Aaron Carter (great dancer, but completely annoying person), "All That Jazz" (well, I can't say Donny, he wasn't THAT bad...and the ugly harmonies and lyrics about a garter still haunt me...), Ashley Hamilton (charming but underwhelming).

Just There: Donny (slightly interesting and wholesome) and Chuck (macho man meets the dance floor...this could be good...or not...)

So there you have it, the first night of competition. Watch sometime tomorrow (hopefully in the afternoon, so I can beat the results show) for my rundown of ladies' night, and sometime after that for the results show recap (which I should be able to watch live). Spread the word, have fun, and keep "Dancing"! Cheese out. :)

Let's Roll Out The Welcome Wagon...

Hello, everyone! Welcome to my blog. My OTHER blog. :) I've been wanting for a while to start one just containing my thoughts about "Dancing With The Stars" and "American Idol," since they are two shows I love to watch, and I often have strong opinions about them. And since I always love reading the recaps all over the Internet...I've decided to write my own. On the Internet. For everyone to see. :D If I remember and/or it strikes my fancy, I also will post any news/commentary/whatever on here that pertains to this blog. Now you're probably thinking (at least if you know me...), "When will he have time to update this thing?!?" (especially since I NEVER update my personal blog...). That is a valid question, and here is the answer: since A. I don't always have too much free time (or at least, I shouldn't), and B. Watching the shows conflicts with my schedule majorly, and I have to catch them the next day most often, I will update as often and as soon as I can. That may be the night of, that may be almost a week after. However it works out...but I will try to keep them as close to the show they're talking about as possible. My first recap, for example, about last night's show, will be coming sometime tonight, after I finish watching all the dances. Get excited! Tell your friends! Watch the shows, of course! Comment like the wind! And above all, enjoy this blog. I hope you like it. :)

Sincerely,
Brandon