DWTS Week 2 Results: Out of the Doghouse

Well, this shall be short and sweet (well, maybe not that short and sweet, since, y'know, it's me writing...but relatively so)...and why, do you ask? Because I was attending my sister's choir concert last night, and thus only saw the last 10 minutes of the results show. I did catch up a bit online, thanks to YouTube, so I did watch a little bit more of it. But mostly, I'll be brief. Yes. I will. :)

• The Elimination: People may love you, but on DWTS, when you're six points behind the two couples tied for second-to-last place, you're kind of doomed unless a miracle occurs. (Sadly, 3 miracles occurred in Season 2 when Master P inexplicably made it to Week 4 and got the lowest score in DWTS history. And let's not even speak of the 4 miracles that happened last season when the mom who shall not be named was able to 'dance' for an excruciating 5 weeks. Sigh...) Unfortunately for Michael, no miracle was in store for him...he was swiftly dispatched for what Bruno (fairly accurately?) called "the worst jive in 11 seasons." (Like I pointed out in my last recap, Master P is the worst contestant DWTS has ever had. And the only notoriously bad one that got to do a jive. And he got two points more than Michael.) Michael still seemed a little hurt by Bruno's comments, and I see where he was coming from there, but still, Bruno's a judge. A crazy, flamboyant, exciting, maddening judge, sure, but a good one too. Did he need to go off on Michael's dismal 'jive'? Not really. But I didn't really see it as mean-spirited or cruel...just harsh, blunt, and to the point. Then again, I've had 10 seasons (missed Season 1, remember?) to get used to Bruno's antics, so maybe it's just me. Farewell, Mr. Bolton...and enjoy the rest of your tour.
• The Other Stuff (at least what I saw of it): Janelle Monae was impressive singing the heck out of "Tightrope" (I've refrained from downloading it, sadly, since Big Boi kind of messes the studio version up with his random rapping...but I have watched the video), and dancing deliciously (?!?!?) all over the place. And my first "they should be a contestant someday!" of the season is here. :) As for Seal, I haven't watched his performance yet. Hopefully it was good? Nor have I seen the Macy's Stars of Dance performance. Maybe I never will...(insert dramatic music here). I did see the pros talking about their weird rituals before performances (Derek refrigerating his socks? Corky smelling the floor? Louis eating a delicious piece of chocolate cake? Nice...), and Bruno totally not apologizing for his comments last night. Stick to your guns, Bruno! Stick to your guns. I'm hoping to find somewhere on the Internets a clip of the explanation of how the audience was actually booing at Jennifer and Derek's scores (and not Sarah Palin), though. Otherwise I'll have to search through the whole episode...and who does that? :)

So there you have it. Week 2 is finished. Whatever shall I do until next Monday? Well, a few things, actually. First, the DWTS-related task: the show's producers have selected 30 memorable dances for us to vote on. The 10 with the top votes (I think?) will be aired in a countdown special on October 25th. I'll be making a post posthaste (:D) with my choices for the top 10, some of the meh ones, some of the interesting choices, all that jazz. Second...as always, I'm going to make yet another promise to continue on my "American Idol" Top 12 project. Will it get done soon? Hopefully. It's been a while. Sorry I'm so lame in getting it finished. Anyways...see you soon with some of the aforementioned posts, and for now, viva la DWTS!

DWTS: Let's Meet The Cast of Season 11 (Part I)

Remember when I said about a week or two ago that I would continue my "Idol" Top 12 project posthaste? Weeell...life got in the way. (It often does, yes?) Yet again I offer another "I'll hopefully make a post about it tomorrow" semi-promise. But let's move to the matter at hand..."Dancing With The Stars," everyone's favorite celebrity-dancing show (SYTYCD, you're great, but you don't count...), just announced its new cast for its 11th season (I've been there since Season 2! How far DWTS has come...), and I'd be a fool not to comment (in a somewhat timely manner) on the stars (or lack thereof), the pairings, and the other developments that have arisen so far. (The Situation, a Palin, and the Hoff, oh my!) Because there's 12 partnerships, and I'm wont to ramble, I'll split it all into two parts. So...let's boogie down, and preview the latest season of...Dancing. "WITH THE STAHHHRS!"

• Michael Bolton & Chelsie Hightower: I have to say I'm not too thrilled to see the guy whose biggest hit (ish...my memory of those love song/power ballad infomercials is kind of off at the moment, so I can't remember that one other famous tune he's known for) is "Go The Distance" learn to dance, but ehhh, at least he's...classy? A recovering big hair addict? I inexplicably have a Christmas song by him on my iPod (hey, it was free on iTunes a year or so ago...)? Yeah, I guess those all work. The producers really came out of left-field, though, with the partner they chose for him. Chelsie's fun. She's a pretty good teacher (she turned a rodeo star AND a pro snowboarder into fairly legitimate dancers, which is no mean feat). And she's attractive. But...she's 21. And Michael Bolton is FIFTY-SEVEN. That age difference is beyond Demi & Ashton territory...it's more like Celine Dion & Rene Angelil...or the late Anna Nicole Smith & J. Howard Marshall. (She was in her late 20s/early 30s, and he was approaching 90.) K, maybe not that drastic. But still. I'm wondering how Chelsie & Michael are going to make, say, the rumba look like anything but creepy. Then again, Michael might not even make it that far...
• Margaret Cho & Louis Van Amstel: I loved Niecy & Louis last season, and I expect Margaret & Louis this season to be cut from a lot of the same cloth (hilarious, revelatory, charming, fun to watch). Although...Margaret comes from a lot dirtier line of comedy (pun actually NOT intended for once...and it doesn't make sense unless you know Niecy up until recently hosted "Clean House" :) ), and her line during the press conference that she knows some stripper moves was kind of...foreboding. Still...she seems unique, fun, and ready to plow through the competition HER way, which I like. And I survived Pamela Anderson last season (and after the awkward tornado of raunch that was her first dance, she actually toned the scandalousness down, believe it or not). So...bring it on, Margaret.
• Rick Fox & Cheryl Burke: And here's where my spotty knowledge of sports comes back to bite me. (The other times it does this mostly occur during the sports categories on "Jeopardy!") I honestly had no idea until Monday night's press conference who the heck Rick Fox is. So...I hope he's not boring. Or obnoxious. (Like, say, Jason Taylor or Lawrence Taylor, from seasons past, neither of whom did I particularly care for, because they were...you guessed it, boring and obnoxious, respectively. And I didn't realize until now they're both surnamed Taylor...DWTS should just stay away from athletes with that name, I guess. :) ) Though really, he's probably going to fill one of the usual "Brandon doesn't give a dang whether you stay or go" slots this season (and if he makes it far, perhaps one of the "Please go, Brandon likes the other people much better, and you're lame" slots more towards the finals).
• Jennifer Grey & Derek Hough: Jennifer's story (you can find it somewhere on the Internets) that getting ready to appear on DWTS saved her life (because of the visit she made to make sure she was in ship-shape for dancing, doctors discovered a serious issue with her neck and she was able to get surgery) is inspiring. And although I'm not a child of the 80s and I've never seen "Dirty Dancing" (you that ARE children of the 80s can yell at me now...), she seems very nice, agreeable, and totally game for whatever DWTS throws her way. I have to admit, though, I'm with a lot of people saying Derek being her partner is kind of a "What? Not AGAIN..." scenario. Derek has yet to have received a truly ghastly-at-dancing partner. Jennifer could prove us wrong...but probably not, even if her last dance experience was in a movie released 23 years ago. Derek's choreography is often terrific (three words from last season: 50s paso doble), and he's a fairly good teacher (even when he has little to teach), but as is true for a lot of viewers, he's really gotten on my nerves. An early exit, even though I like Jennifer and hope she does well, might be the best for all involved.
• David Hasselhoff & Kym Johnson: Call me crazy, but I'm not a big fan of the Hoff. His self-parody appearance in the SpongeBob movie was probably the height of his appeal/level of humor as far as I'm concerned, and he's practically the poster boy in my book for "washed-up." (His last gig? Judging "America's Got Talent," AKA the redheaded stepchild of summer reality shows. Le ouch.) So...unless he turns out to be a revelation, or really funny/fun to watch, I'm going to be rather unenthusiastic about his tenure on the show. It's nice to see Kym back, though. (Don't worry, Kym. Anyone would need a season off to recover from the craziness that is Donny Osmond. :) )
• Florence Henderson & Corky Ballas: Poor Corky's getting painted with the "creeper" brush from his, ahem, colorful turn as Cloris Leachman's partner back a few seasons ago (my, was that entertaining television... :) ), but he's a nice guy, and Florence, of course, is cheerful, charming, and kind of a respected TV/film/stage veteran or something. Being from Broadway, Florence has a slight edge over previous 'older' contestants, and adding to that what's bound to be a lot of sentimental voter appeal, Ms. Henderson just might be the first fairly legitimate contender anywhere near the age of 76. (Then again, I could be wrong. That's pretty much the same thing I said about Buzz last season. Sad.)

The other half of the cast coming tomorrow morning (this I'll make sure to fulfill, really) or so. For now...read. Comment. Discuss. Throw tomatoes at. Whatever floats your boat. For now...viva la DWTS! :)

I'm In Here...Really. I Promise.

(Title...well, before the "really. I promise."...provided by an excellent Sia song. :) )

So...did you hear that Didi Benami won American Idol? (If only... :/ ) Of course you didn't...but if you'd been following my blog--and knew nothing about Season 9 of "Idol" went--that's what you'd have been under the impression of for the past...month and a half. I've been very neglectful of my Top 12 recap project, or of updating this here blog in any way, shape, or form. So let's get back to business...my Top 12 posts will resume (with a LOT of catch-up...I'm planning at least Andrew and Katie, and possibly Tim...oh, Tim...gah...) hopefully tomorrow, but covering a few odds and ends that have popped up in the time I've been away:

• Ellen's out of "Idol." I still like her, and I thought she did an OK job this past season, but she was smart to leave...the chemistry was definitely a little off between her and the other 3 judges. She would, however, be an excellent new host...Ryan, quit now if you know what's good for you. :) (Likelihood of that, though, btw? Next to none. One of the reasons Ellen said she quit was that the schedule was catching up to her. Hosting the show would probably take more time than judging it, so that option's out. Still, Ryan should quit anyhow. He's definitely past his expiration date in terms of actually being appealing or fun.)
• Kara might be out too. And Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are rumored to take the 2 open spots on the panel. J.Lo? Good. I like her (OK, I also think she's EXTREMELY attractive, but still...), and think she's appealing, has the potential to be nice, and helpful (like she was in her Season 6 mentoring stint...didn't watch the show then, but thanks to YouTube, I'm covered :), but also to lay down the law. That said...we thought the same about Ellen. And look how that turned out ("nice." "good." "it was nice and good."). Also, there's another eerie similarity to Ellen...although J.Lo's star is fading a bit ("The Back-Up Plan" and "Louboutins," anyone?), she's still pretty dang well-known. And history on "Idol" has shown that big stars are hard to swallow as a part of a panel that also includes Randy Jackson (the guy who played bass for "Journey," produced for Mariah Carey, and stuff), and potentially Kara DioGuardi (that one chick who wrote hits and all that). As "Idol" producers learned way back in season 1, when they unleashed Randy, Paula (then, a washed-up 80s star, quite frankly), and Simon (then, some cranky British dude) on the public, sometimes lesser-known is the way to go.
• As for Steven Tyler...I say nope. He's crude. His singing talent is debatable. ("Dream On"? Yes. Anything Aerosmith's attempted this decade? For the love of humanity, no.) And not to hit below the belt...but physically, age has definitely caught up to him in the worst way. Not that we're looking for another Heidi and Tim on "Project Runway" here or anything, but millions of people do attempt to watch this show for 4 months. And lighting only does so much. So...definitely not a fan of this possibility. But if it does indeed happen...I'll manage, I suppose. And finally, I actually want Kara to stay. She's the only other remaining panelist besides Randy (well, they are the ONLY two remaining panelists) with experience and music cred on the show (and unlike Randy, she can actually form coherent sentences that actually HELP...), and even though that's not the end-all of judging on American Idol, I think we need a bit of that on the show, no matter what happens.
• My favorite names that have been floated around as judges (likelihood is slim for all of them, but who knows?): HARRY CONNICK, JR. (as you can tell, I'd really love for him to be considered :) ), Shania Twain, Elton John (well, he's better than Steven Tyler, at any rate), and...OK, anybody else I'd love is kind of far-fetched at this moment. A few I wouldn't want to see, though, are Jessica Simpson, the aforementioned Steven Tyler, and pretty much anyone...obnoxious? There. That works. :)

Well, I've done enough typing for now. See you tomorrow (provided I actually follow through, dang it) for some more (extremely late, but at least you can remember them better) reminiscing of Season 9's Top 12.

"Idol" Finale and Other Stuff: You Oughta Know

Well, that's it. America has crowned a new American Idol. My thoughts about the finale (which happened two weeks ago today...yep, I've been rather perfunctory in blogging about it)...well, I have quite a few, but I probably wouldn't know where to start. (Or for that matter, end...) First off, though, I'm not terribly happy with the result. Lee's definitely a nice guy (and he was hilarious and incredibly humanizing appearing with Crystal on "Ellen" a few days before the finale), but really...beyond that he doesn't have much. Vocally, he was underwhelming. Even if you and I disagree on his trajectory and performance quality throughout the season compared to Crystal's, I'd find it hard to believe even the staunchest Lee fan could find much in how he performed on Top 2 night that was dramatically better than Crystal. She gave three fiery, all-or-nothing performances...and he just sang. Fairly on-key (a dramatic improvement from his dark, ghastly semifinal days where any note held longer than a second and louder than speaking tone went more flat than a day-old pancake), but not very appealingly. Crystal blew him out of the water, and the fact that he bested her in the finale...it just left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. But oh well. Crystal got signed literally the day after (if my memory serves correctly, that's even quicker than Season 8's winner, Kris Allen, got picked up last year) by Idol's recording label, and both she and Lee look forward to debut albums late this fall. And, lest any of us forget...it's a reality show. So I can't complain...it's just kind of a lame end to an often frustrating season.

Recapping the finale (thank goodness I tweeted about it so I can remember the specifics):

• Alice Cooper with the Top 12: In the words of my Twitter post at the time..."This is the weirdest finale opening ever." Strange sound issues, inexplicable chorus of school uniform-clad zombies, and the Top 12 not sounding very live vocal-wise...yep, I stand by my tweet.
• Kris Allen, "The Truth": The truth is...this is one dang good song. Kris sang the heck out of it (though what was with that weird first 15 seconds where Ryan Seacrest's mike was still on? Way to be, sound technicians...), and you can probably tell from the fact that I downloaded the tune almost right after the finale ended, that I really loved it. Hopefully you did too. (Irony I noted on Twitter: Just a year before this performance, Kris was singing "No Boundaries" as the new American Idol champion. This time around, the song was again a midtempo rock ballad...but it was MUCH better than that nonsense.)
• The elevendy billion Simon tribute segments they liberally peppered throughout the night: At first they were kind of fun, then they got old, then they pulled out the really sentimental one at the end that totally nailed Simon's legacy (and reminded us why the heck we've put up with him for 9 seasons).
• Dane Cook with that random Simon-roast song: Let's again go to my thoughts that night..."I have to admit Dane Cook and his Simon insult song was pretty fun...but then the cadre of failed auditioners came on, & it all died." There are times I regret not watching the first 7 seasons of "Idol" with the rest of America. I had no idea who any of these fools were but psycho Tatiana from last season...thus, this is NOT one of those times.
• Siobhan (!!!) and Aaron (ehhh...) with the Bee Gees (?!?!?) singing "How Deep Is Your Love": Weird. But oddly satisfying. Though c'mon, producers...why didn't you give Siobhan something to wail on, dang it???
• The Two Mikes (OK, Michael Lynche & Michael McDonald): Somewhat inexplicable that these two would sing together just because they share a name (same applies to Lee & Chicago, below)...but I do enjoy "Takin' It To The Streets," and Big Mike was in fine form, along with the song's original singer and composer, Michael McDonald. Nice. Not amazing. But nice.
• Top 12 Girls & Christina Aguilera: Didi & Lacey sounded a bit shaky on "Beautiful" (sad!), Crystal rocked it, Siobhan and Paige (who finally seems to have recovered from her vocal health issues during the semifinals and on, and actually can sang) freaking OWNED "Fighter." (Katie Stevens aggressively rented it. :) ) And Christina, although she still is in mad, awkward love with the melisma (she used about twenty per minute), continues to maintain an impressive set of pipes, and knows how to work a ballad like no one's business.
• Top 12 Guys & Hall and Oates: As I tweeted that night...the girls got the still fairly current Aguilera...and the guys got an aging 80s soft-rock duo? OK, I do likes myself some Daryl & John, and they still sound pretty impressive. But really...this is 2010. It just kind of didn't make sense (and there were no Paige-esque revelatory turns among the guys...they all sounded pretty dang lame).
• Crystal Bowersox & Alanis Morissette: Isn't it ironic...wait, there wasn't much ironic about this. (Well, except for the song they sang, "Ironic," but I was trying to build a joke off of that... :) ) Kind of shaky at points, but approaching epic at others. Alanis still knows how to wail, Crystal was probably born knowing how to wail, and "You Oughta Know" is one rockin' number. (I'm not familiar with the song, so I didn't notice the somewhat-hilarious lyric change from "Would she go down on you in a theater?" to "Would she go down with you to the theater?" that Crystal had to take care of. Yeah, bit of a difference there...)
• Bret Michaels & Casey James, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn": Although I saw it coming a mile away when Casey started the iconic Poison number, the fact that Bret Michaels sang and played his heart out on the finale stage just a short while after recovering from multiple strokes was, I admit, pretty inspiring/impressive. A very solid performance, by both parties. Let's hope Casey takes a few lessons from Bret on being a classy duet partner (he gave lots of props to Casey), persevering through trial, and making someone who has quite a lot of contempt towards 80s rock actually sort of like a song from that era. (That would be me, folks. :) )
• Lee & Chicago: He's from Chicago, so pick Chicago to sing/play with him? I love the classic band...but really? That's kind of ridiculous. During the medley of Chicago hits like "If You Leave Me Now" and "25 or 6 to 4" (love that song...though haha, pretty sure it took about 20 times repeating the title for everyone in my family for them all to actually hear it correctly), I was digging it deeply, but looking back, I do realize the two lead vocalists gave pretty short shrift to Lee (though I didn't mind much, the less Lee the better in some cases), and the band as a whole wasn't in as fine form as they usually have been.
• I shall not speak of that "Pants on the Ground" fiasco. I've tried to forget it, actually. Moving on...
• Ditto with Paula giving a "comedy" "roast." Another tweet getting pulled in from that night: "Dear Producers, Never give Paula longer than thirty seconds. Or anything alone. Ever..."
• A large, awesome bunch of "Idol" alums singing "Together We Are One" on stage to Simon: Wow. Though it's sad that only the 7 present "Idol" winners (David Cook apparently had a charity gig already scheduled and couldn't attend) got to have solos (I saw Allison! I saw Allison!!!!), the sight of that much raw talent on the stage at the same time warmed my heart. As bad as this season might have felt, looking at all those terrific products of the "Idol" system gave me hope, dang it. Viva la Idol!
• Janet Jackson and the Top 12: Wow, I actually kind of forgot about this...awkward. Janet sounded great but not terribly live...and she didn't give much time to the Idols. Kind of cold, I'd say.
• Crystal, Lee, and Joe Cocker: Call me crazy/disrespectful/totally out of it, but I have never, do not, and probably never will get the appeal of Joe Cocker's voice. He sounded like he was aurally vomiting and probably emitted about 2 or 3 actual notes total. (Sorry. But me and my family actually laughed at his 'singing' at one point. I kid you not.) Still, the fact that he's a legend, and that Crystal (and Lee, but thankfully...I mean, unfortunately, cough cough...his mic kept cutting out) got to rock out with him was excellent.

So what am I going to do now that the seasons of both my favorite reality shows (and the subjects of this blog) are over and out? Ironically ("like raaaain...on your wedding day" :) )....keep blogging. Remember that Top 12 profile project I mentioned earlier? I'm going to jump in and get to work on that. I'll give posts to each of this season's top 12 contenders, picking my favorite performance of theirs, what I thought about their elimination, and all that good stuff. (Yes, I'll probably finish that project quite a while after the finale. But many of those talented guys and gals still need to be remembered long after "Idol," so I might as well help them in that regard.) I'll also hopefully be making posts about what I think needs to change on "Idol," how the judges did this season, and things like that. And any of you "DWTS" fans out there, never fear...I'll be taking care of all the dancing-a-licious recaps I missed, somehow. (A little "DWTS" commentary for now: I'm actually kind of glad Nicole won. Really...) For now...I'll end this incredibly long catching-up post. Get ready for lots more blogging to come!

DWTS Is Back! (And So Will I...)

Just a quick post (to the MANY readers this blog has :) ), letting whoever stumbles upon this here blog o'mine know that I will be getting up both an "Idol" recap from last week's Top 12 performances (the finals are upon is! farewell, dear Lacey...), and a "DWTS" recap for tonight's highly entertaining premiere ("Bailando con las Estrellas!"), sometime tonight or tomorrow or soon-ish. Over and out...and if anyone ends up reading this, spread the word!