Top 12 Guys Night (+ Results): Sugar, We're Going Down

OK, so I'm exceedingly late on this. No one reads this blog as of yet, however, so I think I am excused. Anyways, since the results show has already gone forth and eliminated, I will discuss the performances of the Top 12 guys (oh my, this was like an even-worse sequel to a disappointing girls' night), and when it comes to those axed by America's cruel phone-dialing/texting fingers, I will elaborate on my feelings about their departure. (At the end, I'll talk about the two girls' eliminations. Ashley and Janell, we hardly knew ye. In the case of the former, thank goodness...and as for the latter, methinks you suffered a total eclipse of the Heart. :) )

• Todrick Hall: My words to my roommate (who was catching a little bit of the show while eating at the table, reluctantly, of course) after the performance said it all..."That was...interesting..." Todrick is to be commended for his wildly creative song-rearrangement skills, and his vocals were pretty well on-key, but besides that...wow. (And not a good wow either.) I'm probably the world's biggest proponent of radical, crazy reworkings of songs (see Andrew Garcia below, for example), but even I thought Todrick twisted the melody and structure of "Since U Been Gone" a wee bit too much. The spoken-word intro at the beginning was pretty dang awkward, and the whole performance just didn't fit so well together. That said...Todrick showed he was brave, and that his deliciously unique take on "I'm Yours" during Hollywood Week was no fluke. Still...he needs a heck of a lot more consistency if he's going to keep changing up numbers like this. Otherwise the judges (who were asking the girls THE SHOW BEFORE to give more creative takes on songs) may not be very happy, again.
• Aaron Kelly: I'm still not a fan of the young gun (16, people, 16...) that I think the judges let through way too early, but I have to admit his performance of "Here Comes Goodbye" was a pretty good choice. The bombastic country-pop stylings of Rascal Flatts (a group who I have eternally mixed feelings about) were a perfect fit for Aaron's somewhat soaring pipes. Did the performance wow me? Not really. I found it dull and he pushed a little too much at many parts, and his tone wasn't the greatest. But was it a performance that showed he deserves to be in the semifinals? Yeah, pretty much.
• Jermaine Sellers: Now, I love "Get Here" (I was introduced to it junior year when we almost sang it in our chamber/jazz group), and think it's a beautiful song (it's NOT karaoke, people!). That said...may it rest in peace, because Jermaine sure as heck murdered it repeatedly on Wednesday night. The performance started off pleasantly enough, and Jermaine treated it with (his own slightly overblown version of) respect. Then he got into the chorus, and there went the melody, the song, and any artistic credibility Jermaine might have had left. It was truly just painful. The segment after the judges critiqued him...where he momentarily had no idea who "Idol" music director Michael Orland was, was embarrassing and should have sealed Jermaine's fate, but unfortunately, America is not as merciful as they should be.
• Tim Urban: Another clunker, another missed opportunity for America to send home the right person. While his ridiculous hairstyle (did a Dust Bunny from "The Big Comfy Couch," wearing black because no one watches that show anymore, take nest on his head? yes, I did just combine an obscure 90s PBS reference and a withering yet lame insult in the same sentence :) ) would be worthy grounds for elimination on its own, his uneven, lackluster take on "Apologize" was even worse. His falsetto was weak and the shifts to it were awkward, and his tone was shallow and nervous-sounding. Simon's harsh words afterwards that they made the right decision in the first place by leaving him out of the Top 24 was sharp, but somewhat true. Please, America, put both us and Tim out of our misery. We need no more of  this. (Side note: What kind of lemon keeps the fact he made it into the semifinals from his FAMILY? Kind of fun, but mostly just stupid.)
• Joe Munoz (in italics because America...italicized him? :D): Poor Joe. Only 10 seconds of Hollywood Week screentime to his name before he was forced to take the stage for an all-or-nothing performance on Wednesday night, and then what do "Idol" voters do? Give him the ax. His performance of "You and I Both" was pretty good, I thought (so good, I didn't recognize it as a child of the annoying Jason Mraz...I mean, Mrubbish...until the admittedly kind of flat chorus), and Joe displayed a smile that could light up a city, along with an ease for performing that quite a few "Idol" hopefuls this season could take note of. It wasn't completely memorable, as Simon duly pointed out, but it was very solid, and definitely not deserving of the early exit Joe got on Thursday.
• Tyler Grady: His performance of "American Woman" was a bit unwieldy, for sure...the vocals weren't completely on point, and the whole thing was a bit off...but the judges' critiques afterwards just didn't compute. You spend all of Hollywood Week (and most of his audition) raving about Tyler's 70s vibe, not to mention the intro package being all psychedelic, and then you tear him down for that very atmosphere that you praised? I would call that 1-800-Messed Up, especially Kara's bordering-on-vicious comment that he's obsessed with the 70s and must have Jim Morrison posters plastered over his walls. Um, what the crap? Unfortunately, I wasn't wowed with his performance and didn't vote for Tyler (expecting him to sail through into next week anyway). Now the contestant who I gushed about in my Top 24 recap, the one I said "just may be the first 'Idol' male contestant that has my vote from my start," is gone. Ugh.
• Lee DeWyze: It seems that "Idol" always has to have at least one contestant that everybody loves, but I just don't get. Last year it was Adam Lambert and the Screamer Who Must Not Be Named (if you need a reminder as to who that is, let me evoke these painful lines: "Dreeaaam on! Dreeeeam on! [Painful shrieking, sound of cats dying] :) ), and this year, methinks it's Lee DeWyze. His tone is reminiscent of David Cook's and Daughtry's, for sure...after it's been run through a sausage grinder. It's just plain grating. ("Get ret-ty!" OK, I'll stop the horrid Screamer references...) He is to be commended, certainly, for starting off his take on "Chasing Cars" in a very raw fashion...just him playing guitar and singing, and virtually nothing else...but he was pushing way too hard at so many points, and did very little with the song. Sadly, he's one of the judges' ordained front-runners now, but in my minority opinion, I don't mind if he gets an early ouster. (The earlier, the better.) (Side note: Randy, since when does Kings of Leon qualify as a harder-rocking group? Harder than Snow Patrol, sure, but you played with Journey. You should know your rock music a wee bit better than this.)
• John Park: John gets major points for being both a smooth baritone (baritones unite! :) ) and picking a jazz standard ("God Bless The Child," baby!), but unfortunately, both of these excellent elements failed to combine into a good performance. His vibrato was rather all over the place, his tone wasn't completely steady, and he did little to interpret the song. Sure, he didn't have to be a Billie Holiday, but he could have put some semblance of emotion into it (after all, he explained afterwards that the song had special meaning to him). Like Shania said, John has a nice bottom end (his VOICE, people, his VOICE!), and if he gets a heck of a lot more consistent, he can work wonders with that low tone, a low tone that many of the other male contestants certainly do not possess. Otherwise, pretty much the only calls he's going to get after "Idol" will be from Carnival, the Disney Cruise Line, and Mikalah Gordon's cousin's uncle's wedding.
• Michael Lynche: Time for another one of my concise moments. And...go! OK, I like Michael. But his take on "This Love" was unimaginative, flat, and just not consistent enough. And I severely doubt he was playing that guitar that much. It had energy, but it didn't quite cut it. (Kara saying it wasn't "outrageously great" was shockingly right on the nose. Kara getting a critique right? We should treasure this moment.) Michael shall stay in for quite a while, but I hope he steps it up in the process. (If he had done the whole song a la the last line...simmered down dramatically...I had a feeling he would have knocked it out of the park. Tis a shame.)
• Alex Lambert: Well, that last one wasn't very concise, was it? Let's try this again. Alex's nerves certainly got to him here (I doubt a lost puppy in a Disney movie could have had a more scared face than he did during his song), and his performance was little more than a very pale imitation of James Morrison, the very artist Alex was covering. It was boring, plodding, and uncreative. And he stayed instead of Tyler how, exactly?
• Casey James: As much as this still-continuing "ooh! Kara LIKES Casey!" thing is starting to get old, and this is a SINGING competition, I have to admit it made for some pretty unexpectedly funny lines behind the judges' table ("We were both cursed with good looks," Simon drolly quipped). Still, it was distracting, and it kind of bugged a bit. Since they largely failed to talk about Casey's performance (except for a few small breaks from the jokery), I shall...his take on "Heaven" (by Bryan Adams, ehhh)  was good and solid, and I didn't hate Casey's tone half as much as I thought I would, but it wasn't completely there. I recommend Casey goes the David Cook route and changes things up a bit. Because aside from "Idol" to stop playing up the Kara-Casey thing, that just may be exactly what he needs.
• Andrew Garcia: Where was the freaking love???? While the judges (and most of America and my fellow recappers) found Andrew's inventive midtempo cover of "Sugar, We're Going Down" to be disappointing, I personally loved it. Now, that might be because I hate the original (thank the Lord that Fall Out Boy is no more!), and also because I'm a sucker for interesting harmonies and I audibly squealed (no joke) when I heard the chord progression in the chorus, but I thought this was really good. His vocals were smooth and soaring, and it just sounded like a vastly better song. Really, Simon, it was a disappointment? Really, Kara, the risk he took didn't work? Really, with Seth and Amy? (SNL reference...score!) Anyhoo, I hope this country wakes up and notices how amazing this cover was, and until then, I'll keep listening to it frequently on my iPod. Take that, suckers!

The Other People Eliminated: I'm not too sad at all that Ashley's gone...her flat, lifeless performance of a Leona Lewis number was painful to sit through...but I'm somewhat annoyed that America sent Janell a pink slip. True, she was way too overstretched on Heart's "What About Love," and her final Hollywood solo of "Love Story" was subpar, but she really had potential, and the classy way she took her elimination on Thursday (interviews and all) showed that she wasn't a brat. This is one of the few cases where I'm rooting for  an early semifinal castoff to get some semblance of a career after "Idol." Janell certainly deserves it.

And that's a wrap. My schedule this week should be more conducive to "Idol" watching, and for the love of all things Allison (I STILL want to find a video of her results show performance, dang it!), please let the Top 20 performances be much better than the crap we got this week. It was BAD, folks...really bad. And with that, I bid adieu.

Top 12 Girls Night: Wicked Game

OK, I have 21 minutes until the Top 12 Guys show (which I will actually be able to watch tonight, I had to catch last night's performance episode via the very, very helpful Rickey.org), which means I have 21 minutes to recap 12 ladies' performances. Can I get a "Aaah!!!"? Overall comments: This was kind of painful to watch. While there were some bright moments (you'll see me type...hopefully briefly...about them below), it was a roundly disappointing night of "performances" (so bad, I put performances in needless quotes :) ). So dive in with me, quickly, like a bunny, and relive the horror and joy that is...the American Idol semifinals.

• Paige Miles: To quote "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" (oh, yes, I am going there): "Je suis 'ow.'" Poor Paige got saddled with the first slot (AKA death) and I haven't seen her sing a note before now, but she did herself no favors with this exceedingly messy and awkward performance of "All Right Now." It was BAD. Yet the judges said it was good...and this is why they often drive me crazy. Paige is in major danger--unless America has suddenly been brainwashed by Simon Cowell. While I won't cry if she leaves...methinks she should be given another chance, a chance she hopefully won't waste as badly as she did with this performance.
• Ashley Rodriguez: I've heard Leona Lewis...and you, Ashley, are no Leona Lewis. Ms. Rodriguez attempted to tackle another heavyweight ballad (last time it was Jordin Sparks' "Battlefield," this time it was the aforementioned Lewis' "Happy"). I only like the song because of Leona's powerhouse voice, and with Ashley's not-half-as-strong pipes phoning in a weak showing, it really fell flat (especially when HALF HER FREAKING NOTES were thus). Sorry Ashley, but I really don't care if America (deservedly) votes your unimaginative self off.
• Janell Wheeler: Another bad song choice, another promising contestant with a horrendous performance. "What About Love" by Heart...really, Janell? What about changing it up a bit, so your more acoustic-suited voice wouldn't get swallowed up? What about staying on key, so you wouldn't sound like a dying cat (or Taylor Swift)? It just didn't work at all...it was certainly more on par with her dismal performance of "Love Story" during Hollywood Week than her alluring take on "American Boy" a few episodes earlier.
• Lilly Scott: Crap, 9 more minutes, and 9 more contestants (and if you've read a shred of my recaps, you know I don't write concisely enough to take a minute per contestant :) ): Anyways, Lilly's quirky acoustic spin on "Fixing A Hole" by the Beatles (why does it remind me of "A Day In The Life" for some reason? Probably the holes...) was enticing, but not entirely consistent. I liked it (and now have it for my own, thanks to Rickey.org), but it was also somewhat awkward. Lilly might need to expand her musical horizons a little more to gain the favor of a wider swath of Idol voters, or she could end up like Megan Joy last season...talented and spicy, but capable of imploding in a live setting.
• Katelyn Epperly: Is it time for brevity? Sure. Her vocals were excellent, but her look and personality were not. It was good, and she demonstrated a heck of a lot of control over her instrument, but it just didn't blow me away.
• Haeley Vaughn: Country + wonky vocals + a Beatles number? No, you didn't stumble back into Season 7 and Kristy Lee Cook's horrific murder of "Eight Days a Week"...that would be Haeley Vaughn's precociously awful butchering of "I Want To Hold Your Hand." Points for totally turning the song on its ear. Points promptly taken away for being on key about 5% of the time.
• Lacey Brown: I love Lacey, and I voted for her quite a few times. That is why I saw her disappointing, flat performance of "Landslide" as not a lackluster effort by a not-so-talented pretender, but as a low point in an otherwise spot-on trajectory so far. Lacey seemed to be pushing when she should have pulled, shaped, and nuanced her voice like she totally can. I fear for her safety in the competition now--she's doomed to be one of the first 2 castoffs on Thursday--but I hope America gives her another week, and she gains some confidence in her personal artistry, so she can show what she's most certainly got.
• Michelle Delamor: (Writing this during the commercials of the Top 12 guys episode. I got close to finishing this in time, though! :) ) Michelle fared much better than Paige in the "I hardly got any screen time before now, so here goes nothin'" department, and she showcased some impressive vocals, but her performance was a wee bit too by-the-numbers to show anything special. Put those large pipes into something constructive and unique, Michelle, and you've got yourself a deal. For now, I think you've earned yourself a ticket to next week, another chance to show Idol voters unfamiliar with you (AKA, pretty much everyone) what you can bring.
• Didi Benami: I love this song ("The Way I Am"! Viva la Ingrid Michaelson!), and I love Didi and her voice. And guess what...I liked this performance. She was a tiny bittle flat at some points, but I thought it was assured, smooth, and beautiful. Kara (Kara??!!) was right (right?!?!?) in pointing out (point...OK, I'll stop :) ) that Didi did play with the melody a little bit, and it worked out well. Where was the love from the other judges, then? Does Simon see it his duty to be a Didi hater? Well, to heck with the judges. America is likely to put her through, with such a nice performance on a night full of pain, misery, and endless woe.
• Siobhan Magnus: Well, someone surprised me tonight. Not only did I learn that Siobhan's an apprentice glass-blower, I learned she can nuance a performance pretty darn well. Her final Hollywood Week song, "Living For The City," was loose and soaring, but this reined-in, mysteriously delicious version of "Wicked Game" (a Chris Isaak tune, who woulda thunk it?) was a breath of fresh air. Siobhan has really caught my eye, something I really didn't expect.
• Crystal Bowersox: Me likey some Crystal. OK, how about I type in actual English? I thought it was very good. And how many contestants have pulled out the guitar AND the harmonica? (Apparently Taylor Hicks did. Well, I didn't watch his season, and haven't really had the urge to look his old "Idol" performances up on YouTube.) Her vocals were confident, strong, and had an interesting (but not EEnteresting...as in interesting but horrible) tone that I really liked. Plus her teeth look better, which should please the brats that were complaining about them. All in all, Crystal is one frontrunner that deserves the hype. (Side note: I didn't think she came off as cocky or "above American Idol" in her awkward conversation with the judges, but she just may need to become acclimated to the show a little bit more.)
• Katie Stevens: I'm a big fan of this talented teenager, as you saw from my slightly stilted praise in the last recap...and I really liked this performance, but she did indeed try too hard. The confidence and maturity she's displayed up to this point turned too far into pretense and not being genuine, and with someone as bright and promising as Katie, that's kind of a shame. I do take issue, though, with people comparing this to Adam Lambert...a) He was covering the Muse version of the song, and b) He slaughtered it, and not in a good way. How about you compare Katie to Nina Simone (who originated the song with a killer version decades ago) or Michael Buble (who revitalized the tune for a new generation)? It's a jazz standard, folks. Don't go trumpeting a caterwauling glam-rock wannabe from last season like he owns the song. Anyways, back to Katie...it was good, but not entirely original or consistent. She needs to step it up a bit and bring all the talented pieces she possesses together.

So there you have it. The Top 12 ladies of American Idol. I would tack on something here like a "who was good, who wasn't" thing, but I'm already running late on this, and I think you got enough. See you (anyone? anyone? cricket, cricket?) soon with a recap of the Top 12 guys. Adios!

The 'Idol' Top 24, Part 2: Straight Up

Let's skip all the opening mishegas and get to the second half of the Top 24. (I will say that the subtitle I just used was originally the subtitle for my aborted Hollywood Week post. Sorry for being slightly lazy in that respect. :) )

• Lilly Scott (20, from Denver, CO): Her deliciously jazzy take on "Lullaby of Birdland" (prior to which she even cited Ella Fitzgerald as the artist :) ) during Day 1 of Hollywood calmed the part of my heart ravaged by scatting extraordinaire Jennifer Hirsh's ouster, and her off-kilter, sunny personality makes me all kinds of happy, but her peformance of a Hall & Oates number was way too pushy, strained, and devoid of life. It was a troubling sign of Lilly potentially thinking she needs to be someone else to be able to succeed...but I hope that wasn't it. She's one of my clear favorites moving into the semifinals, and I hope she brings her striking individuality and vocal consistency to the table, not any preconceptions about what she should or shouldn't be. Viva la Lilly!
• Michael Lynche (26, from Astoria, NY): Thankfully, the disqualification rumors swirling about the Internets ("DEAR INTERNET..." Sorry, but I saw the opportunity for a Conan O'Brien reference and I jumped on it :) ) were apparently false, and this lovable new father (congratulations to his wife! but did Fox REALLY need cameras in the delivery room??) is safe and sound in the Top 24. True, his final performance, a smooth but bland version of "I'm Yours" (still better than Jason Mrubbish's version, though...sorry, but it's true), was...well, bland. But his previous vocal outings were top-notch, and I don't know, I just think he's cool. Got a problem with that?
• Haeley Vaughn (16, from Fort Collins, CO): She's giving me a major Jasmine Murray vibe...in that she's young, charming and pleasant, and has a serviceable voice...but she also doesn't hold up very well in a live setting, became an "Idol" semifinalist a bit too early, and is somewhat doomed with the voters. Her ambition to become a pop-country star is really admirable, and her personality is excellent...but her performances to date (not even her spunky, twangy audition of "Last Name") have most certainly not been.
• Lee DeWyze (23, from Mount Prospect, IL): The little I've heard of his voice has been unimpressive and a bit too scratchy for my taste (his "Ain't No Sunshine," for example, paled in comparison to both Bill Withers' iconic original and Kris Allen's revelatory rendition last season). I'm not foreseeing great things for Lee...but who knows, he could surprise me. Or end up like the trainwreck that Danny Gokey (AKA The Screamer Who Must Be Named) was. For his sake, hopefully it's the first scenario.
• Paige Miles (24, from Houston, TX): All I know about her is that she inexplicably reminds me of Mercedes from "Glee" (a show I don't even watch), and Simon likes her enough to have told her that she's better than she knows. That's a pretty good compliment. Hopefully she has a voice and personality to match, however, because no screen time prior to the semifinals = she pretty much needs something akin to the performance of her life on Tuesday simply to stay in the game.
• Andrew Garcia (24, from Moreno Valley, CA): Normally when I'm offended (a figurative term, I don't truly take offense to much of anything) related to a contestant, it's bad news. Not so for Andrew Garcia...what bugs me is all the stupid recaps/"Idol" articles comparing him to The Screamer Who Must Not Be Named (ha! found a way to repeat that moniker! It's Danny Gokey if you weren't pay attention earlier). He is NOT like that contemptible contestant from last season. He's much better. No obnoxious rasp, no grating personality, no penchant for choosing maudlin inspirational numbers...instead, here in Andrew we have a killer voice, combined with a deliciously experimental artistic sensibility. His triple whammy of excellent performances...a smooth "Sunday Morning, a radically brilliant guitarified cover of a PAULA ABDUL song, and an absolutely soaring "Chasing Pavements" (he chose an Adele song! he chose an Adele song!)...has me sold on his talent and creativity. Keep up the good work, and I think I shall give you my vote.
• Didi Benami (23, from Los Angeles): I was blown away by her beautiful audition of "Hey Jude" (what's with the lack of love, Simon?), and thought her performance of the DioGuardi-penned "Terrified" was the bees' knees...but I oddly thought her final Hollywood Week solo, the Sarah McLachlan weeper (and a song I love) "Angel," was 1-800-A Bit Ungainly. Still, 2 delicious performances out of 3 isn't so bad, and she's definitely one of my favorites. Hopefully her tendency to emotionally let herself loose (it still doesn't bother me, I have to say...after all, her friend died, give her a dang break) won't sour too many "Idol" voters, however.
• Joe Munoz (20, from Huntington Park, CA): A near complete lack of any previous screen time, and his name's unfortunate similarity to last season's cheery, but also bombastic and doomed Jorge Nunez just may combine to dash any hope this young gun has of getting very far in "Idol," much less taking the crown at the end.
• Katie Stevens (17, from Middlebury, CT): Younger than me? A powerhouse voice? A composed and vibrant, yet unique and none-too-perky personality? Nope, folks, I'm not talking about the beloved Allison Iraheta (buy her CD, dang it! NOW!) from last season, I'm referring to the talented Katie Stevens, season 9 Top 24 member. Sure, her musical stylings are miles away from Ms. Iraheta...Allison was a rocker, Katie is a belter...but I see a lot of similarities in their trajectories, and Katie has rarely missed a note (figuratively and literally) in her run so far. Her voice is a whirlwind thing of beauty, and she sings with the confidence of an artist twice her age. Allison got fourth. Could Katie go farther? I sure as heck hope so.
• Alex Lambert (19, from North Richland Hills, TX): I don't really dig Alex (though he's miles less frustrating and obnoxious than last season's Lambert model, the notoriously controversial Adam). He's bland, middling, and he showed a bit of a bratty personality when sparring with Mary Powers (oh, that woman...) during Group Day. Will I shed even a figurative tear if he's a victim of the 2 first cuts from the Top 12 men? Not in the slightest.
• Katelyn Epperly (19, from West Des Moines, IA): I enjoyed her audition of Duffy's "Syrup and Honey" (partly because it's a song by Duffy, who I love)...but otherwise, I've found little to latch onto with Katelyn so far. I'm looking forward to what she brings out on Tuesday, however, and I think she'll do well. At this point, however, I'm somewhat undecided.
• Jermaine Sellers (27, from Joliet, IL): I admittedly had to turn to YouTube to examine Jermaine's previous body of work on "Idol"...for some reason, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him while watching this season (though I realized that I did indeed hear a bit from him in the Group Round, see below). His audition made "If God Was One of Us" a thing of beauty rather than annoyance (I know it has an inspirational message, but did Joan Osborne have to convey it so clumsily?), but his stay in the trainwreck 'Phoenix' during the Group Rounds left him considerably worse for the wear...he was indeed spot-on by pointing out that the weak harmonies would take away from the verse of "Carry On, My Wayward Son," but his shouting at the end of their performance was the very opposite of spot-on, and his offhand comment afterwards that "I know I'm not meant to be in no group" was a bit too diva-esque for my taste. So my opinion on Jermaine is rather mixed, and I'm waiting to see what he's got up his sleeve on Wednesday to make a judgment.

So there you are. My thoughts on Idol's Top 24. Are you excited for the semifinals finally starting on Tuesday and Wednesday? I sure as heck am...after all, I'll take singing over drama any day. And even better, this season I don't have anyone to hate so far...which is always a wonderful thing. Although I'm going to have to juggle to get both episodes watched this week...I'll be there to recap them (finally!). See you then, and for now, adios!

The 'Idol' Top 24, Part 1: Chain of Fools

So I have failed at including "American Idol" in this blog so far (but enough so I'd be included on Failblog... :) ). I had a draft halfway (OK, that's a bit too generous, probably 1/4 of the way) done of the first Hollywood Week episode recap...and I never finished it. I doubt I offended anyone who was reading this...because as of now, there isn't anyone reading this. Go figure. Well, now I have time, motivation, and a sinus infection (or cold?) keeping me in on a Saturday night...so let's dive into my thoughts on the just-selected Top 24, which will (finally!!!) start performing on Tuesday and Wednesday. Let us bid a not-so-fond farewell to the manufactured drama, overly repetitive sob stories (oh, how Fox loves them), and not one, but TWO performances of "Bad Romance" (eek!), and get down to our "Idol" semifinalists. (Side note: I will split this recap into two, since 2 moderately-sized...well, sort of...recaps of 12 people is much better than one unreadably mammoth one of 24.)

• Crystal Bowersox (24 years old, from Toledo, OH): I didn't really know much about this tattooed mom from Ohio until I heard her beautiful, gale-force rendition of "Natural Woman" on Day 1 of Hollywood Week. She followed that pure, unadulterated goodness up with an excellent performance (that sadly, we saw only in flashbacks), using a guitar AND harmonica, of Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy" (I've never heard that song before, but this talented woman singing it sure makes ME happy). Viewers have had the chance to become well-acquainted with Crystal's high degree of talent, but will their opinions about her looks (I saw one EW comment thread dominated by ridiculously cheap remarks about her teeth) send her packing way too early? Hopefully not. Then again, these are the people that sent Latin fireball of talent Allison Iraheta to the Bottom 3 not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR times last season. (Come on, America, don't let me down again!)
• Tyler Grady (20, from Nazareth, PA): His smooth and...spicy? (OK, maybe I let that adjective run away from me there) rendition of "Let's Get It On" during his audition trumped any reservations I had about his gawky personality and the fact that he had plates in his arms from falling out a tree. (Yes, that was indeed his backstory.) His confident, soaring Hollywood Week performance of "Home," also shown in flashbacks, sealed the deal. Welcome to the semifinals, Mr. Grady. Keep the stellar vocals up and you'll be one of the first male "Idol" contestants to get my vote right from the very beginning.
• Michelle Delamor (22, from Miami, FL): Poor Michelle made like Jessica Alba in "Fantastic Four" during Hollywood Week (completely invisible)...but I've since watched her audition of "Chain of Fools" featured in a December "Idol" promo, and she's got some pipes. Whether those pipes will hold up as well in a 90-second semifinal performance as they did in a 15-second audition clip remains to be seen, but they'd better, or Michelle's first chance at screen time on Tuesday may unfortunately be her last.
• Aaron Kelly (16, from Sonestown, PA): I'm not too fond of this young guy...his audition of "The Climb" did indeed improve on Miley Cyrus's original, but as any of you who have heard Ms. Cyrus' voice can attest, it's not that hard to accomplish that. Add to that the fact that he forgot his lyrics twice during Hollywood Week (I forget my lyrics all the time, I admit, but usually I have to remember the entire song, not a snippet as was his case), and he seems like he's entering this all too early--he's not very distinctive or developed, he just sings somewhat well, and that's it. He may grow on me during the semifinals, but for now, he's just aight for me, dawg. (Oh gosh, I slipped into Randy-speak. You have permission to shoot me.)
• Ashley Rodriguez (22, from Chelsea, MA): I was a solid fan of her self-assured audition performance of "If I Ain't Got You" (does that song ever get old when done well? I thinketh not), but the pale imitation of "Battlefield" she gave during Hollywood Week displayed a lack of imagination and creativity (and of truly versatile vocals). She's good, but not great. If she steps it up in the semifinals, I'll consider becoming a fan, but right now, I think she's not quite ready to be an "Idol" frontrunner.
• Todrick Hall (24, from Arlington, TX): His personality bugged the heck out of me in the Group Rounds (he was part of one of the obnoxious-beyond-all-reason groups that made the stupid choice of doing Lady Gaga a cappella), and his Wednesday night clips sure as heck weren't much better...but then came his performance of "I'm Yours," a song which I've never truly loved. It could have been just that he followed two lackluster versions (even Michael Lynche, below, who I like, kind of fumbled it), or maybe I was out of it, but his rendition was creative, unique, and...really good. He used melismas and runs all over the place, but they were constructive (wouldn't it be something if EVERY contestant did that?), and his personality was a nice balance of bubbly and non-diva-esque. Did he actually notice what he was doing right? My money says he didn't, but if he keeps up this winning formula, I just may find a place in my Idol-watching heart for Todrick, even if I wouldn't want to hear him do anything but sing. (Sorry, his personality still isn't my cup of tea, folks.)
• Janell Wheeler (24, from Tampa, FL): They only showed a small sampling of "House of the Rising Sun" (her audition number), and I wasn't completely sold on it, but her Hollywood rendition of "American Boy" was dang good...so good, I didn't even recognize it as the same song (a VERY good thing, trust me :) ). Her second Hollywood Week solo, "Love Story," was much less of a success, however...usually it's good when you evoke the original artist, but not when said original artist in this case happens to be the fragile-voiced Taylor Swift. This inconsistency so far leaves me undecided about Janell--only the semifinals will tell whether she's worthy of my vote.
• John Park (21, from Evanston, IL): Concise attack! (Sort of.) His audition was very good, I thought (even with Shania Twain's "He has a great bottom end" remarks getting awkwardly misinterpreted...she was talking about his VOICE, people!), but his Hollywood footage was nowhere to be found. Jury's still out on him...and sadly, it will take a whirlwind semifinal performance on Wednesday to get in the hearts of the notoriously fickle "Idol" voters.
• Siobhan Magnus (20, from Marstons Mills, MA): Wasn't too familiar with her until I saw both Kara and Ellen's panning of her droll Hollywood Week debut, and then her fiery final Hollywood solo (which I admit, I loved) of "Living On A City." She's certainly got a powerful voice...but can she channel it into semifinal success, and even more importantly, can she strike the balance enough been quirky/individualistic and likable enough to please all/most of the American viewing public?
• Tim Urban (20, from Duncanville, TX): His lackluster voice has yet to impress me, his personality is almost nonexistent, and he only made the semifinals because of another's disqualification. Three strikes...and you're hopefully out. (Had to be truly concise somewhere. :) )
• Lacey Brown (24, from Amarillo, TX): Unlike many viewers (I suspect), I am happy that Megan Joy beat out this talented songstress last season in the "Mansion of Death" episode. (Viva la Megan Joy!) Conversely, I think quite a few viewers share my current view...I'm abundantly glad she's in the Top 24. Her voice is jazzy and smooth with an appealing (for the most part) twang, and the fact that she's picked two standards so far ("Over The Rainbow" and "What A Wonderful World") is a huge plus. The former, her audition song, was a bit breathy, but the latter (Hollywood Week) was truly mesmerizing. I really like what she's done so far, and I hope she keeps it up.
• Casey James (27, from Fort Worth, TX): He's like a boomerang of quality...Casey has gone from lame audition (complete with Kara and Posh Spice inexplicably asking him to take off his shirt), to pretty dang good Hollywood debut (blues guitar and assured vocals! double whammy!), to a crash and burn of a Hollywood final solo, "Bubbly." I'm afraid he's rather expendable (in my eyes) at this point...after all, it's "American Idol," not "Blues Guitar Master With Little To No Personality or Spark Idol."

And there you have it, the first half of the 24 semifinalists. The next 12 coming at you posthaste.