DWTS: Let's Meet The Cast of Season 11 (Part I)

Remember when I said about a week or two ago that I would continue my "Idol" Top 12 project posthaste? Weeell...life got in the way. (It often does, yes?) Yet again I offer another "I'll hopefully make a post about it tomorrow" semi-promise. But let's move to the matter at hand..."Dancing With The Stars," everyone's favorite celebrity-dancing show (SYTYCD, you're great, but you don't count...), just announced its new cast for its 11th season (I've been there since Season 2! How far DWTS has come...), and I'd be a fool not to comment (in a somewhat timely manner) on the stars (or lack thereof), the pairings, and the other developments that have arisen so far. (The Situation, a Palin, and the Hoff, oh my!) Because there's 12 partnerships, and I'm wont to ramble, I'll split it all into two parts. So...let's boogie down, and preview the latest season of...Dancing. "WITH THE STAHHHRS!"

• Michael Bolton & Chelsie Hightower: I have to say I'm not too thrilled to see the guy whose biggest hit (ish...my memory of those love song/power ballad infomercials is kind of off at the moment, so I can't remember that one other famous tune he's known for) is "Go The Distance" learn to dance, but ehhh, at least he's...classy? A recovering big hair addict? I inexplicably have a Christmas song by him on my iPod (hey, it was free on iTunes a year or so ago...)? Yeah, I guess those all work. The producers really came out of left-field, though, with the partner they chose for him. Chelsie's fun. She's a pretty good teacher (she turned a rodeo star AND a pro snowboarder into fairly legitimate dancers, which is no mean feat). And she's attractive. But...she's 21. And Michael Bolton is FIFTY-SEVEN. That age difference is beyond Demi & Ashton territory...it's more like Celine Dion & Rene Angelil...or the late Anna Nicole Smith & J. Howard Marshall. (She was in her late 20s/early 30s, and he was approaching 90.) K, maybe not that drastic. But still. I'm wondering how Chelsie & Michael are going to make, say, the rumba look like anything but creepy. Then again, Michael might not even make it that far...
• Margaret Cho & Louis Van Amstel: I loved Niecy & Louis last season, and I expect Margaret & Louis this season to be cut from a lot of the same cloth (hilarious, revelatory, charming, fun to watch). Although...Margaret comes from a lot dirtier line of comedy (pun actually NOT intended for once...and it doesn't make sense unless you know Niecy up until recently hosted "Clean House" :) ), and her line during the press conference that she knows some stripper moves was kind of...foreboding. Still...she seems unique, fun, and ready to plow through the competition HER way, which I like. And I survived Pamela Anderson last season (and after the awkward tornado of raunch that was her first dance, she actually toned the scandalousness down, believe it or not). So...bring it on, Margaret.
• Rick Fox & Cheryl Burke: And here's where my spotty knowledge of sports comes back to bite me. (The other times it does this mostly occur during the sports categories on "Jeopardy!") I honestly had no idea until Monday night's press conference who the heck Rick Fox is. So...I hope he's not boring. Or obnoxious. (Like, say, Jason Taylor or Lawrence Taylor, from seasons past, neither of whom did I particularly care for, because they were...you guessed it, boring and obnoxious, respectively. And I didn't realize until now they're both surnamed Taylor...DWTS should just stay away from athletes with that name, I guess. :) ) Though really, he's probably going to fill one of the usual "Brandon doesn't give a dang whether you stay or go" slots this season (and if he makes it far, perhaps one of the "Please go, Brandon likes the other people much better, and you're lame" slots more towards the finals).
• Jennifer Grey & Derek Hough: Jennifer's story (you can find it somewhere on the Internets) that getting ready to appear on DWTS saved her life (because of the visit she made to make sure she was in ship-shape for dancing, doctors discovered a serious issue with her neck and she was able to get surgery) is inspiring. And although I'm not a child of the 80s and I've never seen "Dirty Dancing" (you that ARE children of the 80s can yell at me now...), she seems very nice, agreeable, and totally game for whatever DWTS throws her way. I have to admit, though, I'm with a lot of people saying Derek being her partner is kind of a "What? Not AGAIN..." scenario. Derek has yet to have received a truly ghastly-at-dancing partner. Jennifer could prove us wrong...but probably not, even if her last dance experience was in a movie released 23 years ago. Derek's choreography is often terrific (three words from last season: 50s paso doble), and he's a fairly good teacher (even when he has little to teach), but as is true for a lot of viewers, he's really gotten on my nerves. An early exit, even though I like Jennifer and hope she does well, might be the best for all involved.
• David Hasselhoff & Kym Johnson: Call me crazy, but I'm not a big fan of the Hoff. His self-parody appearance in the SpongeBob movie was probably the height of his appeal/level of humor as far as I'm concerned, and he's practically the poster boy in my book for "washed-up." (His last gig? Judging "America's Got Talent," AKA the redheaded stepchild of summer reality shows. Le ouch.) So...unless he turns out to be a revelation, or really funny/fun to watch, I'm going to be rather unenthusiastic about his tenure on the show. It's nice to see Kym back, though. (Don't worry, Kym. Anyone would need a season off to recover from the craziness that is Donny Osmond. :) )
• Florence Henderson & Corky Ballas: Poor Corky's getting painted with the "creeper" brush from his, ahem, colorful turn as Cloris Leachman's partner back a few seasons ago (my, was that entertaining television... :) ), but he's a nice guy, and Florence, of course, is cheerful, charming, and kind of a respected TV/film/stage veteran or something. Being from Broadway, Florence has a slight edge over previous 'older' contestants, and adding to that what's bound to be a lot of sentimental voter appeal, Ms. Henderson just might be the first fairly legitimate contender anywhere near the age of 76. (Then again, I could be wrong. That's pretty much the same thing I said about Buzz last season. Sad.)

The other half of the cast coming tomorrow morning (this I'll make sure to fulfill, really) or so. For now...read. Comment. Discuss. Throw tomatoes at. Whatever floats your boat. For now...viva la DWTS! :)