DWTS Week 2 Results: Out of the Doghouse

Well, this shall be short and sweet (well, maybe not that short and sweet, since, y'know, it's me writing...but relatively so)...and why, do you ask? Because I was attending my sister's choir concert last night, and thus only saw the last 10 minutes of the results show. I did catch up a bit online, thanks to YouTube, so I did watch a little bit more of it. But mostly, I'll be brief. Yes. I will. :)

• The Elimination: People may love you, but on DWTS, when you're six points behind the two couples tied for second-to-last place, you're kind of doomed unless a miracle occurs. (Sadly, 3 miracles occurred in Season 2 when Master P inexplicably made it to Week 4 and got the lowest score in DWTS history. And let's not even speak of the 4 miracles that happened last season when the mom who shall not be named was able to 'dance' for an excruciating 5 weeks. Sigh...) Unfortunately for Michael, no miracle was in store for him...he was swiftly dispatched for what Bruno (fairly accurately?) called "the worst jive in 11 seasons." (Like I pointed out in my last recap, Master P is the worst contestant DWTS has ever had. And the only notoriously bad one that got to do a jive. And he got two points more than Michael.) Michael still seemed a little hurt by Bruno's comments, and I see where he was coming from there, but still, Bruno's a judge. A crazy, flamboyant, exciting, maddening judge, sure, but a good one too. Did he need to go off on Michael's dismal 'jive'? Not really. But I didn't really see it as mean-spirited or cruel...just harsh, blunt, and to the point. Then again, I've had 10 seasons (missed Season 1, remember?) to get used to Bruno's antics, so maybe it's just me. Farewell, Mr. Bolton...and enjoy the rest of your tour.
• The Other Stuff (at least what I saw of it): Janelle Monae was impressive singing the heck out of "Tightrope" (I've refrained from downloading it, sadly, since Big Boi kind of messes the studio version up with his random rapping...but I have watched the video), and dancing deliciously (?!?!?) all over the place. And my first "they should be a contestant someday!" of the season is here. :) As for Seal, I haven't watched his performance yet. Hopefully it was good? Nor have I seen the Macy's Stars of Dance performance. Maybe I never will...(insert dramatic music here). I did see the pros talking about their weird rituals before performances (Derek refrigerating his socks? Corky smelling the floor? Louis eating a delicious piece of chocolate cake? Nice...), and Bruno totally not apologizing for his comments last night. Stick to your guns, Bruno! Stick to your guns. I'm hoping to find somewhere on the Internets a clip of the explanation of how the audience was actually booing at Jennifer and Derek's scores (and not Sarah Palin), though. Otherwise I'll have to search through the whole episode...and who does that? :)

So there you have it. Week 2 is finished. Whatever shall I do until next Monday? Well, a few things, actually. First, the DWTS-related task: the show's producers have selected 30 memorable dances for us to vote on. The 10 with the top votes (I think?) will be aired in a countdown special on October 25th. I'll be making a post posthaste (:D) with my choices for the top 10, some of the meh ones, some of the interesting choices, all that jazz. Second...as always, I'm going to make yet another promise to continue on my "American Idol" Top 12 project. Will it get done soon? Hopefully. It's been a while. Sorry I'm so lame in getting it finished. Anyways...see you soon with some of the aforementioned posts, and for now, viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 2, Part 2: You Can't Hurry Love

No, you'll just have to wait. She said love don't come easy...but it's a game of give and...oh, hello. I'm supposed to be writing a "DWTS" recap, aren't I? Let's proceed with that, shall we?

• Margaret & Louis (18/30, jive): Margaret had the unfortunate luck of coming after the whirlwind of movement and precision that was Jennifer Grey's jive, which sort of highlighted some of the weaknesses in hers. Still...she can dance! After kinda sorta proving so last week with the first 15 seconds of her Viennese waltz, Margaret did so in full force with a pretty good jive. Technically, it needed some improvement. But it was energetic and a great performance. And it even had an 80s theme while being both of those things. :) I still worry a bit that Margaret may get lost in the shuffle with the scores the judges gave her (I would have said three 7s would have been more in order), and the fact that she seemed a bit off tonight personality-wise, but I think she'll be fine tomorrow night, and that she'll continue to improve and warm the hearts of the "DWTS" watching public.
• Kyle & Lacey (22/30, quickstep): Any of you out there (including myself) who thought that Lacey had gotten all of her crazy "let's shake things up and make this dance different!" tendencies out of her system during her season 7 run with Lance Bass (remember the random barefoot dancing?), well...we were proven wrong. Lacey's choreography for Kyle was kind of all over the place, and though Kyle once again did fairly well, it wasn't as put together as last week (though the judges perplexingly gave him only 1 point less). It wasn't quite a quickstep...and for some reason, randomly felt a little slow in the feet at some points. (As in it looked like Kyle wasn't stepping quick enough, or that Lacey hadn't choreographed his feet to do so well enough.) It was OK, but I wasn't quite sure what was going on half the dance. Surprisingly, though, Len liked it. (Even with the "young" and "hip" moves Lacey threw in? Wow, Mr. Goodman, you're growing up. :) )
• Kurt & Anna (21/30, jive): I thought Kurt's jive was pretty dang good tonight...charming, good footwork, and fun. What's not to like? Like I've reiterated with a few standouts tonight, though...not perfect. Still needs a bit of polish, definitely. But still. Good dancing. (And he had to deal with the painful song choice of "Danger Zone." Blegh. :) ) Strangely, my local ABC affiliate (which is going gaga over Kurt because hello, he played for our hometown Cardinals the past few seasons) was reporting at 10 on some controversy with Kurt's costume. I'm kind of wondering what that was about...at first, I was kind of wondering why it was so low-key (well, low-key and sparkly), but I didn't think it was that bad. Perhaps that will always be a mystery...I missed catching that report. :)
• "The Situation" & Karina (18/30, quickstep): Let's keep this short and sweet. The Situation still annoys me. His dancing tonight was better, but...it still wasn't great. I still didn't very much enjoy it. And he still didn't show his abs, miraculously. Hey, DWTS voters...let's make this the very first series (granted, the only other one he's been in is "Jersey Shore," but still...) in which The Situation's six-pack stays hidden. We can do this. It's the best for America. Let's get him out of here. Please?? (Hey, if it happened to the Hoff, it can happen to a guy from "Jersey Shore.")
• Bristol & Mark (22/30, quickstep): Good for Bristol! She improved on the potential she showed last week and danced a fine quickstep. My post-dance tweet noted that her dancing "needed a bit of work," which is true, but she was graceful and classy. The judges were correct, though, that she needs a bit more performance quality, more energy in her face. She doesn't look bored (in fact, she smiles quite a lot), but she does need to stylistically bring her dancing a little more edge. And as for her mother...sigh. I have a feeling the whole "how did you get her to do the (insert strange Palin-esque noise and shimmying movement)?" clip will be playing nonstop on the news outlets tomorrow. And that they'll also be discussing "did they boo at Sarah? Did they? DID THEY?" furiously (and obnoxiously). But that's the way the game goes. I will say it was kind of interesting seeing the woman who could have been VP just 2 years ago in a leather jacket on the sidelines of the dance floor on a nationally televised reality competition show. And beyond that...I shall be quiet. :)

So how did the competitors do in Week 2? I shall tell you, who I think goes with who... :(Channeling my inner Dr. Seuss there. :D):

The Good (That I Voted For): Florence, Brandy, Audrina, Kurt, Margaret, & Bristol

The Good (That May Win My Favor, And In Jennifer's Case, Were Terrific): Jennifer, Rick & Kyle

The Bad (To Home They Go?): The Situation & Michael (Mike & Michael? Perhaps that name is not a good one to have this season... :) )

See you tomorrow night post-results show. Viva la DWTS! :)

DWTS Week 2, Part 1: Suddenly I See

And so after a whirlwind week of premieres on TV (I watched like 2 or 3 new shows!), our good ol' friend "Dancing With The Stars" returns for yet another week of madness. Or something like that. I found this week's performance show a bit more entertaining than the premiere...and the dancing improved (mostly...cough cough Michael Bolton cough cough). I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. But who knows? Next week could turn out to be ghastly. Like the unexpected appearance this week of...gasp, Sarah Palin! Anyways, let's jump right into how the dancing went down during Week 2.

• Rick & Cheryl (21/30, jive): Oh, so the song was called "Tush"! That explains the whole Cheryl's underwear-uncovering thing. Actually, not really. That was a bit unnecessary. But I guess it at least explains the word choice on the underwear...anyways, Rick did pretty well tonight. I'm not entirely sure it was an improvement, per se, on last week's fairly nice Viennese waltz, but I think it was still a step forward. Rick conquered his foot issues and his crazy height, and went out there and actually nailed quite a few of the steps. It wasn't the best dance of the night, but it worked. Normally he would have to worry that he wasn't incredibly memorable and went first, but it's Rick Fox. Ladies drool all over him. And he might have grabbed a sizable chunk of the male voting crowd with that Cheryl undies flash, too...sigh. :)
• Florence & Corky (19/30, quickstep): And Ms. Henderson brings it! After last week's rather interesting (but kind of head-scratching, in my opinion) semi-Cloris flashback cha cha cha, Florence actually pulled out some fairly serious dancing chops (see, I told you she'd probably be pretty good! Broadway doesn't lie...), and gave a quickstep that would make even a 30-year-old look impressive. Was the footwork perfect? No. But it was a dance with a good deal of content, a bit of fun, a lot of class, and a more-than-necessary amount of Corky Ballas mugging. (Did not particularly dig that drawn-out flourishing by him at the end. Just dance it straight, sir!) The producers even chose a KT Tunstall hit (viva la Tunstall!), of all things...the deliciously spunky "Suddenly I See." (A possible reference to Florence showing she's much more than a number...the number 76, her age? Perhaps...) I thought Florence really stepped up her game tonight, and with crazy rehearsal antics like her giving, ahem, the finger (sorry, I know it's bad but I did find it quite funny...) continuing to pop up, she's definitely still going strong in the charm department.
• Brandy & Maks (21/30, jive): A tweet of mine during the show: "Finally, someone gets Maks to go to therapy!" Honestly, though, it's about time. :) Moving on from that...I thought Brandy did well, but I do agree with the judges that her jive lacked a little something. There wasn't enough kick in the legs, it seemed, and the energy flagged a tiny bit. However, what the dance lacked in sharpness and technique, it made up for in style...the solo was impressive, and the general vibe was cool. I dug it. Her and Maks' interplay with the judges made for some interesting developments...Brandy's admonishment to Maks that he let her listen to the judges' constructive criticism was classy, but then she got a little shaky when she reacted a little too vocally to some of said criticism...and acted as if Maks' solo choreography was a bit shaky. Like other Internet posters have noted...watch yourself, Brandy. Trust your pro. It's Maks. He's cool. Random side note: I know I ranted about Tom (and Cat Deeley of SYTYCD, while we're at it) totally deserving an Emmy in my last recap...but I think someone else deserves one more. For your consideration, I would like to submit Bruno Tonioli's Gwen Stefani imitation from his critique of Brandy's jive. That is all. :)
• Michael & Chelsie (12/30 [yes, you read that right], jive): I'll probably end up writing a bunch about him, anyway, but here's a succinct start to this section about Michael's dance, straight from my live tweeting during the show: "Michael's jive was one part loosening up a bit, one part acting like a robot, and three parts Chelsie dragging him across the floor...sad." The effort was there...I think...but yes. It was bad. 12/30 bad? Well, that's arguable. But honestly, there were literally some points where Chelsie had to drag him. And where he looked clunky and robotic. And where the parts didn't quite fit together. I know it's hard seeing a beloved entertainer/singer of your youth getting trampled by 3 dancing show judges...but it's the hard truth, folks. (As for me, I am free from any love for any Bolton tunes, or for his hair, so sorry, I'm naturally going to be a bit less sympathetic.) It's going to take a lot of love for Michael to escape at least the Bottom Two (then again, Master P did for a whopping 4 weeks, without a particularly evident fan base, and even lower scores), and a likely elimination. Speaking of the P, once Bruno made his "the worst jive in 11 seasons" comment, me and my sister immediately pondered if Master P (AKA the worst contestant in DWTS history, and a constant reference point in the Randall home for celebrity dancing suckitude) had done a jive way back in Season 2. My sister doubted he made it that far, but a Wikipedia check just now reveals that he did, in fact, 'dance' a 'jive.' (You can bet the bank those single quotes are intentional. :) ) But he got a 14. So sorry, Michael. Methinks Bruno wasn't too far off. Good luck tomorrow night...thou shalt need it.
• Audrina & Tony (23/30, quickstep): Will this dance be remembered as an impressive breakthrough for Audrina, or the one that caused Tony to have to shave his legs? Only time will tell. (But probably the latter. Who remembers the dancing, anyway? :) ) Anyhow, Audrina did well last week, but this week, gave an even more terrific performance, with a quickstep that I would dare say was the best of the night. (Literally, it was, actually...it was the highest-scoring quickstep of Week 2.) The footwork was great, the choreography was classy, the content was there...it just all fit together. Not quite near perfection yet, but getting there. As an added bonus, during rehearsal, Audrina broke out the waterworks...but unless most celebrity crying meltdowns, this one was natural and mature...she wasn't mad at Tony, she didn't freak out, she just had a moment where the stress of DWTS got to her...and then she got over it. And life went on. Good for her. (Compared to the partner that Tony had last season, he must be dancing in joy at how classy Ms. Patridge is.) Audrina is really showing some sizable potential...hopefully the voters agree, yes? (And for the elephant in the room...BAHAHAHA that Tony has to wax his legs. Wow. Just wow. This should be interesting. Though as I noted on Twitter, the leg-waxing should be "much less painful than having (insert name of partner that I still refuse to type again here, look on Twitter if you really don't know who it was) as a partner last season." :) )
• Jennifer & Derek (24/30, jive): Full disclosure: Yet again, I did not use my fingers to dial (or click, via online voting) for Jennifer & Derek. I'm just not quite ready to vote for them yet for some reason. But still...this was one heck of a jive. Derek, despite becoming increasingly annoying to watch at times, is a killer choreographer, and his skill at creating routines really manifested itself tonight. It was fast! It was furious! It was fun to watch! What's more, Jennifer more than proved capable of handling the lightning-quick steps. I really loved it. (And no wonder she had to lay/sit down afterwards...ah, if only Marie Osmond had thought ahead and done the same after her infamous fainting-inducing samba back in Season 5.) Apparently the booing after the scores were given was for the low-balling 8s the judges doled out, and not for Sarah Palin's presence (more on that in Part II)...had I been paying attention (I somehow missed the scores and had to wait until the end to find them out), I probably would have joined those boos. A 24 for a fiery jive? Rude.

Part II coming right up! I'll hurry up so it doesn't get posted too late. For now, viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 1 Results: Dropping A Bomb

Finally! After season after season of voting off perfectly nice/fun/interesting/good people first (except for season 8, where 'comedian' Jeffrey Ross quite deservedly got the first boot) on "DWTS," America was rather merciful and swift last night in their voting, and one of my least favorite dancers last night was sent home. Who was it? Well, you can probably guess from the title...and y'know, the billions of spoilers now swimming around the Internet...anyhow, but we shall discuss below. Discussion beginning...now. :)

• The Elimination: In my recap last night, I minced no words (I hope?) when it came to my dislike of David Hasselhoff and his cha cha cha (sort of) to "Sex Bomb." So as you can probably guess, I was rather happy to see him go home tonight. Although I audibly expressed anger at The Situation being announced as safe for next week (if only it was a double elimination week...sigh...), at least my fellow DWTS voters had the sense to spare the viewing public any more misery, and send "The Hoff" packing. His dance wasn't good, I didn't see much potential, and had he stayed for a few more weeks, David would have probably been limping through the competition, more as a figurehead rather than an actual contender. He just wasn't good. I didn't like him. Sorry for all of you that do think he's the tops. I'm not one of them, and I don't think I'll ever be...but that's just me. A few random side notes: I was delighted to see some shaky (but excellent) prospects like Bristol, Margaret, and Audrina advance to next week (as I've told you, I'm an unexpectedly growing Bristol fan; Margaret has huge potential, and she's hilarious and charming; and Audrina gave a respectable performance on Monday, so I was glad to see that she beat the Shannen Doherty/Josie Maran/Paulina Porizkova/Trista Sutter Memorial Girl Who Isn't Very Well-Known, Doesn't Stand Out, or People Kind of Don't Like For Some Reason Gets Knocked Out First, Regrettably Curse! :) ) Also, David's first-week exit (according to my research) brings "DWTS" closer to once again balancing out the gender count for first eliminations of the show's 11 seasons. (Counting first weeks with double eliminations, 7 women have gone home first, while 6 men have.)
• The Music: Well, I was pleasantly surprised in this department. Hearing Tom & Brooke announce yesterday that Santana and Daughtry were the main musical guests caused me to not expect much from tonight's musical performances. (They did mention India.Arie too, so I was excited for that part. She's terrific!) Thankfully, I was wrong, and both singularly named acts started the season off strong with, as follows: a spicy version of "Oye Como Va" (a Santana standard that I had forgotten about until they used it to kick off the show); a serviceable performance of "September" by Daughtry (as was true on "AI" a few months, and also seasons, ago, his live voice is impressive); a beautiful Santana duet with India.Arie of the Beatles' standard "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"; and a surprisingly amazing take on "Photograph" by Def Leppard (I have to admit I had no clue which band this was a cover of until afterwards; my dad's a big fan of Def Leppard, but I'm certainly not) by Daughtry & Santana. I really liked the backstage-style intro with the pros at the beginning, and it really adds a lot of energy to the results-show broadcast by starting straight off with a fiery number. India.Arie's gorgeous pipes on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" were terrific as always (I want that studio version now), and Daughtry was rocking "Photograph" like there was no tomorrow. (He moves farther and farther away from his 4th place "Idol" finish and closer and closer to legend status every time I see him perform, even if I don't particularly care for his band's music.) And the huge lighted stage set-up was interesting, and provided for an interesting dynamic that made the performances feel fresh. (Though I'm sure the main stage where the Harold Wheeler Band usually performs on dance nights felt lonely. :) ) All in all...the producers are going to have a hard time topping this. (But please do try. Some jazz vocalists would be a great start. :) )
• The Rest: He's been adding color commentary to results-show nights for quite a few seasons (along with Jimmy Kimmel, who I hope is back, believe it or not), and I have to admit tonight's segment was a bit less laugh-out-loud funny than previous years, but I still (sort of) get a kick out of Adam Carolla's wacky "DWTS" antics. The bit where Len invented a dance (I forget which) was the highlight. Tom also got in a witty line of his own...he told The Situation and David that "We'll inform you of your fates later," then quipped, "We've got an hour to fill." Leave it to Tom to gently jab the results-show concept and make it funny and charming...as I noted on Twitter, why doesn't he have an Emmy yet?? (Same with Cat Deeley. I'm not a regular SYTYCD viewer by any means, but even I can tell that she's one of the best hosts ever. Quick on her feet, invested in the contestants, and British!! OK, "Cat and Tom should have Emmys" rant complete. :) ) And finally, I had no idea Louis van Amstel had a ponytail in Season 1. (This bit of info was shown in a picture of him & Trista as the first couple eliminated in U.S. "DWTS" history.) The things I missed that random first season! Dang... :)

And that's all I have to say about the results show tonight. I think. (You'll notice I kinda wrote a bit more than I usually do about these things. Probably because this was the first results show in a long time that I was able to sit down and watch in its entirety. Thank goodness it was a good one! :) ) Here's one last farewell to the Hoff, and see y'all next week for another dancing recap. For now...viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 1, Part 2: Mama Told Me (Not To Come)

Well, I already did all my "welcome this recap! Brandon is now going to ramble a bit aimlessly for his intro" stuff in Part I, so let's dive right in to Part II. Vamos!

• Bristol & Mark (18/30, cha cha cha): Sit down children, and let me tell you a story.* Once upon a time, there was a quirky Alaskan governor named Sarah Palin, and John McCain picked her as his running mate. I was a big Obama/Biden fan at the time (still am, but that's another story), but I thought she was cool, and excited about her being the VP pick. Then as time went on...I wasn't. More time went on...it got worse. And now, I really can't stand her, to be frank. The end. But wait...there's another chapter to the story. A surprising chapter that came out of nowhere. I'm not quite sure exactly why, but I like Bristol Palin, and I voted for her 6 times (3 by phone, 3 online) tonight. I kid you not. (And I had seen her try to act, and fail miserably, in "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." If you want to watch the amusing/gruesome footage of that, check out the link in one of my "let's meet the cast" posts.) Her dance wasn't incredibly great, but it wasn't horrible to watch, and Bristol definitely wasn't as stiff and lifeless as Kate Gosselin was I thought she might be. (Sorry about that crossed-out portion. I forgot we agreed never to speak of the ____ in "____ Plus 8" again. :) ) There's a certain charm about her...she's shy, but nice, and seems to get along well with Mark in rehearsal...that cuts through all of the confusion at why she was picked for "Dancing With The Stars" when she's not a star in the first place, all of the increasingly hostile feelings I may have about her mother. She has potential as a dancer. I identify with her being shy and not entirely comfortable with loosening up (those have both been longtime faults of mine). So sue me. I think I'm becoming a fan of Bristol Palin (sort of) on "DWTS."
• Florence & Corky (18/30, cha cha cha): Much like the entire premiere in general tonight, I'm quite perplexed as to what my thoughts are with Florence and her...ahem, interesting first dance. I was a big Cloris fan back in season 7 (I still think the woman is hilarious, but I'll still never get what possessed me to vote so many times for her that season), but in a surprise to myself, I'm not quite there yet with Florence...the dance was kind of all over the place. Some of the steps were off, some of the humor didn't work (remember when I said Corky wasn't as creeper-y as people made him out to be? I think I've changed my mind now...what the heck happened to his voice? And he still has a fixation on naughty choreography...), and it wasn't quite all there. That said, Florence is charming and unpredictable (that whole bra-flashing thing before one of the breaks was out of nowhere, and my mouth stayed open in shock for about 20 seconds, but it also made me laugh), and I'd be quite glad for her to stay in the competition at least a few more weeks.
• Michael & Chelsie (16/30, Viennese waltz): I'm still not sold on the 36-year age gap between Mr. Bolton & Chelsie, and tonight's pretty lame dance did them no favors. Chelsie was terrific--both in outfit choice (she's wearing clothes! And they cover her body!) and dancing--but Michael was not. He was stiff, boring, and a bit clumsy. I found myself inadvertently focusing on Chelsie mid-dance...and when I tried to switch back to watching Michael, I found my eyes drifting back to Chelsie again. He's just not an engaging dance presence, and I have a feeling that's going to really hurt him in the long run. He's probably going to be benefited this week by both a promising female fanbase (remember the crazed fans in "Music & Lyrics"? I have a feeling those same types of fans will be dialing through the roof for him...) and being close to last in the broadcast, but I doubt he'll last much longer unless he really shapes up technique and personality-wise. Still, even if he ends up departing quickly (I kind of hope he does), he'll always have his hair. (Those first two pictures they showed of him in his rehearsal package intro were wild. :) )
• Mike ("The Situation") & Karina (15/30, cha cha cha): Seeing as he was largely absent from 99% of the pre-season promo materials because he was wrapping up season 3 of "Jersey Shore," I waited until tonight to make a verdict on Mr. Sorrentino (AKA, of course, "The Situation") purely based on the fact that I had no clue how he acted on camera (save from media accounts), and thus wanted to give him a fair shake. I did. About 30 seconds to a minute into his rehearsal footage...he was already getting on my nerves. The press is right about him...he's cocky, abrasive, and I'm pretty sure he was at least somewhat drunk in part of his rehearsal footage. I know he had only 5 days to practice, but his dance was pretty much a trainwreck--it didn't click together at all, and was pretty dang painful to watch. Might America be merciful and let us only have to suffer through one dance by "The Situation"? These are the same people that let both Kathy Ireland & the lady who we have agreed not to speak of (see Bristol's section for clarification if needed) last for much longer than they needed to, but they also were the same people that had the sense to give the annoying Jake Pavelka last season a fairly early exit. And Karina has never been a well-liked pro, so he doesn't have that going for him. So I'm staying positive. :)
• Jennifer & Derek (24/30, Viennese waltz): It's probably the fact that I've never seen "Dirty Dancing" and thus don't have the fond, fond memories of it that have been running around for 20+ years in the minds of those who were children of the 80s. But I wasn't that impressed with Jennifer Grey's first dance...it was nice, it was somewhat inspiring, but I wasn't quite sold on it. Jennifer seemed kind of awkward and disjointed tonight--there were absolutely beautiful lines there, but also quite a few bad transitions as well. And her crying in rehearsal about the late Patrick Swayze was heartbreaking, but also a little foreboding...I feel really, really sorry for her (how hard would it be to to a dancing show just a year or two after the tragic, early death of the person who you starred with years ago in a movie about the same subject??), but crying every week in rehearsal doesn't usually end well ("DWTS" voters get frustrated, it becomes less fun to watch, it makes you look like a drama queen even when you're perfectly nice and wonderful, like Jennifer is). I'm looking forward to next week, though. Len said, "let's see you jive next week." I agree...an excellent performance next week could turn me from semi-doubter to semi-fan. You never know just how "DWTS" will surprise.
• David & Kym (15/30, cha cha cha): Kym asked (somewhat rhetorically) in the post-dance interview, "Who doesn't love the Hoff?" As I answered back in my live tweeting during the show..."I don't, that's who." I simply do not get why people think he's cool, fun, or appealing in any way, shape, or form. He's aged the opposite of gracefully. He still insists on making a point of keeping his cheesy 80s/90s TV work a major selling point of his career today. Kym may have had the same kind of partner in season 9 (Donny Osmond, a sort-of washed up 80s/90s heartthrob seen as cheesy), but Donny actually could dance somewhat well. David, on the other hand...nope. It was really uncomfortable to watch. He doesn't move well, Kym is a good teacher and choreographer but not an amazing one, and thus even she couldn't keep it from turning into one big trainwreck. David went last, and like I said above, lots of people seem to like him. So if he goes home tomorrow night, it will be quite a shocker...but, quite frankly, it will be a shocker that makes me very, very happy.

And that's the premiere of season 11. I'll be back tomorrow night with my take on the results, but for now, here are my traditional groupings of the dancers so far:

They Did Great, And I Like 'Em: Brandy, Kurt, Rick (surprisingly, but no votes yet), and Audrina (sort of, I didn't end up voting for her either)

They Didn't Do So Well, But I'm Still A Fan: Margaret, Bristol (still don't know why)

Nice Dancing, But I Don't Really Like You Yet: Kyle, Jennifer, Florence

Please Go, You're No Good: David, Michael, "The Situation"

See you tomorrow for my results recap (which will hopefully be fairly on time). For now...viva la DWTS! :)

(*Typing this line reminded me of an obscure "Arthur" line I'd like to share with y'all, where he was trying to write poetry based on "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere": "Listen my children, and I will tell you/About a duck and a chicken, on a bus to Oklahomu! Ewwww..." :D)

DWTS Week 1, Part 1: Crazy

And here we are. "Dancing With The Stars" is back for its 11th season. Tonight's premiere was...OK, to be frank, I'm still not quite sure what to think of it. But as I've learned through watching "DWTS" ever since season 2 (me and my family missed its inaugural season completely), first impressions can be quite off. So even if this was a somewhat underwhelming first night, I'm pretty confident the season can get better...as I wrote in my parting live tweet after the show, "There's still lots of dancing to come. So nowhere to go but up..." And with that, let's waltz into recapping the DWTS premiere...

• Audrina & Tony (19/30, cha cha cha): Not being a viewer of "The Hills," I wasn't very familiar with Audrina before tonight (knew the name, barely knew the face, but that's basically where my knowledge ends), and wasn't expecting much. She exceeded my expectations with a respectable cha cha cha...not too dirty, not too stiff, and not too boring. It was nice, fun, and she showed some potential. In addition, her personality was pleasant (though a bit boring, which could be a liability in the long run). That said...she was first out of the gate. I can't imagine her having many built-in fans. And she received pretty good, but not amazing scores. As we learned from the sad case of Shannen Doherty last season (and other first-week eliminations strewn across "DWTS" history), these qualities can easily add up to an early exit. Audrina's days might be numbered, but I hope they're not. I kind of like her (even though I didn't vote for her), and I think the best is yet to come in terms of her dancing.
• Kurt & Anna (19/30, Viennese waltz): The likable Audrina was followed by the even more likable Kurt Warner, a former Cardinals (yeah, Cardinals!!!!) player who turned in a just as respectable show on the dance floor. Given the fact that he's a bit more interesting personality-wise (a large, cute family helps :) ), and that his long football career (he helped the Cards reach the Super Bowl in '08! Sorry, but as you can tell, can't help my inner Cardinals fanboy from popping out...) gives him a pretty large fanbase from the beginning, he's probably going to stay a while no matter how well he dances going forward. So it's good that he gave a promising start, and with the always-dependable Anna as a partner, he could really grow and improve as the season progresses.
• Kyle & Lacey (23/30, cha cha cha): The artist formerly known as Cory Baxter has never been a favorite of mine, so bear that in mind whenever I type about him, but...I wasn't completely a fan of his and Lacey's cha cha cha tonight, or his personality (but then again, that's something I've never really cared for). He danced well, but Lacey's choreography seemed to rely a bit more on sex than it should have, and seeing as Kyle's 19 (and looks a bit younger), that didn't quite sit well with me as a viewer. And maybe it's my inner Len speaking out, but the opening with the locker was incredibly pointless. Still, Kyle seems to be yet another celebrity to form an easy partnership with the adventurous Lacey (her line asking him if he was staring at her cleavage during rehearsal had me laughing profusely), and there could be worse people to go far in the competition (cough cough, Situation and the Hoff...I'll get to you both later...). And I bet all the people who were going "Who the heck is Kyle Massey?" pre-season are probably totally bowled over that he's suddenly become a favorite, which should make things interesting. :)
• Rick & Cheryl (22/30, Viennese waltz): As you probably were able to gather if you read my pre-season "let's meet the cast" posts, I wasn't too excited about Rick Fox. I'd never heard of him, he looked like the kind of dancer who would rely on looks rather than talent (which is pretty much 80% of the show's past male contestant population, sigh...), and I don't know, I just didn't really care for him upon first impression. After viewing the rehearsal footage and seeing how dang tall he is, my expectations stayed pretty low...and then I saw his Viennese waltz, and I was in for quite a surprise. Against all odds, I really liked it. He was incredibly graceful, not just for someone approaching 7 feet tall, but for someone dancing in general, and the dance was just classy and nice to watch. I'm not quite elevated to "fan" territory yet, but count Rick as probably giving the best first impression both personality and talent-wise (in my eyes) of the male dancers this season.
• Margaret & Louis (15/30, Viennese waltz): As is often the case with me and the resident comedians of "DWTS," I really like Margaret. She's fun, the family atmosphere of "DWTS" enables us to watch a slightly toned-down version of her humor (the same was the case with Kathy Griffin on "Celebrity Mole: Hawaii" years ago...I loved her on that show, but I generally veer away from whatever she's done after it, because her raunchy humor really isn't my cup of tea), and the sentiments she expressed during rehearsal that she wanted to feel beautiful and accepted were really sweet. All this means...dang it about her dance, and her score. The first quarter of it started off great--and then it veered into uneasy comedy territory, and by the time she had gotten tangled up in her cape and then intentionally made a few stumbles, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. The problem was rather Louis choreographing more around her comedic persona than the dancing skill she probably is able to demonstrate (he did this a lot with Niecy last season, admittedly in a more effective way). He played for laughs rather than for the "she really CAN dance!" factor, and thus the scores suffered. I hope Margaret doesn't get knocked off early tomorrow, and that the genuine charm she showed in her rehearsal footage and (most of) her dance is enough to carry her into next week. If so, she and Louis better bring their A-game next week. If not, then this season might be a little less fun to watch.
• Brandy & Maks (23/30, Viennese waltz): And here's one of the best dances of the night. It wasn't exactly Nicole-last-season-first-dance good (I eventually made my peace with Nicole last season, was glad she won, and in retrospect see her as an incredibly good dancer), or Kristi-in-season-6-holy-crap-she's-going-to-win-this-whole-thing-ain't-she-first-dance good (:D), but it was classy, elegant, and the lines were beautiful. Brandy (who, as I have previously stated, have fond memories of from the excellent 1997 Wonderful World of Disney production of "Cinderella") also showed much more interesting of a personality than I thought she would have in rehearsal footage, becoming a brilliant foil to Maks (who amusingly and strangely proclaimed he would be more of a softie this season, then proceeded to sort of abandon this) by being tough on herself, and pushing him to push her and work her hard. They're fun to watch (I think Denise Richards has been the only person that's NOT been fun to watch with Maks), it's the makings of a great partnership, and I think Brandy is bound to go far in this competition, much like that other singularly-named 90s singer back in season 9 (cough cough, Mya, cough cough). (You know me and my comparisons. I can't help but make 'em.)

That's all for Part I (Part II coming up hopefully right after this one, but it might be delayed until tomorrow morning in a worst-case scenario). See you in a bit for the next 6 dancers' recap (here's a teaser: I actually like Bristol Palin, and I don't know why!), and for now, viva la DWTS! :)

DWTS: Let's Meet The Cast of Season 11 (Part II)

"How Am I Supposed To Live Without You"! THAT's the song Michael Bolton is famous for. And I'm back! Let's cut right to the chase and talk about the other half of this season's cast of...Bailando con las Estrellas! (Si, I just went Spanglish on you. :) )

• Kyle Massey & Lacey Schwimmer: Producers have done a much better job here of pairing a young pro with a young celebrity (I did the research, and according to Wikipedia, Kyle's 19, and dear old Lacey's 22)...but really? Kyle Massey? Kudos to the producers (again) for actually managing to keep his name under wraps (the former Mr. Cory Baxter was nowhere near any of the casting rumors that actually ended up being pretty accurate this season), but...I've never really liked Kyle since he started growing up on "That's So Raven." He's kind of stilted and annoying, and he's really starred in too many ghastly projects (Life Is Ruff, Cory In The House, that one or two 'songs' he 'sang') for me to change my mind. Oh well...at least he might be good at dancing, given the fact that he's not even reached his 20s. (He's only a year older than I am! Then again, so was Shawn Johnson during her season. Still...I feel like I'm growing up...) And also, he's paired with Lacey, who is fun and a fairly good teacher, from what I've seen in the past.
• Brandy & Maksim Chmerkovskiy (that name never fails to give me grief...): Yeah, that's probably the very last time I'm going to type Maks' full name...ever. You know who he is. Do the math. :) Anyways...Brandy's always been one of those stars who is...nice. Fairly talented. Pretty. But...kind of boring and not terribly popular. Still, I have fond memories of Ms. Norwood in the Wonderful World of Disney version of "Cinderella" back in '97 (speaking of that, I should get it on DVD...), and remember Mya? She fit kind of the same bill...nice, fairly talented, and attractive, but also a bit low-key at first...and ended up being absolutely terrific. So I have fairly high hopes for Brandy. But if she ends up being disappointing as a dancer...meh. I'll survive. (She better bring her A-game, though, to be able to handle the fury of Maks.)
• Bristol Palin & Mark Ballas: Bristol. Oh, Bristol...I don't know what to think of you. You seem charming and ready to get down to work. But also...all you're known for, pretty much, is being the spawn of a witc I mean, daughter of Sarah Palin. Well, that, and your painfully robotic acting debut on "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." (And when you can tell you're robotic on that show, you know you've got acting problems. It was even worse than me, and I consider myself the worst actor ever. :) ) Anyways...I still have ghastly memories of the last reality star known for little more than existing that "DWTS" brought to the table (cough cough, Kate Gosselin, let us never speak of her again, cough cough), who was so bad that even the Emmys made fun of her. Heck, Kate even made fun of herself. But...I'm staying optimistic about Bristol. The fact that she's proclaimed she's going to be aiming for modesty in her costuming is a plus. (Yes, I know DWTS is the last place you're going to find modesty. But every little bit of it helps, folks.) Despite my increasingly hostile feelings about her mother, I think if Bristol actually can dance, this might actually be fun. (Might.)
• Audrina Patridge & Tony Dovolani: While I had heard Audrina's name bandied about a bit in the pop culture arena before they announced her as part of the cast, I have to admit...all I know is that she was on "The Hills." And did stuff. And seems to look slightly different every time I see her. Last season, we had to "Save Tony" from the evil clutches of the horrible partner I just mentioned in the previous section in a cough, and who we agreed never to speak of again. This season, I don't think that will be necessary. I doubt Audrina will be even half that obnoxious, and what's more, I don't think she'll last even half that long (poor Tony, the last time he got someone amazing was season 2). I can't see her having much of a fan base, and she seems unlikely to be any good at dancing. Still...DWTS has always been known for surprises. Gilles Marini was predicted by EW (somewhat offhandedly) to get last place his season. And you know how wrong that turned out to be...
• Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino & Karina Smirnoff: Karina's fortunes have fallen incredibly far with the DWTS-viewing public, from what I've seen (I have yet to see a genuinely positive comment about the veteran pro in online comment boards this season), which is a strike against "The Situation" (do I have to use that nickname? I guess so...) from the start, but...he's athletic. He's probably going to showcase his ridiculous (I mean that a bit derisively) abs for at least the first one or two dances. And being from one of the trashiest shows on reality television (and that's no mean feat), "Jersey Shore," he probably doesn't really give a dang how stupid he might look on the dance floor. I'm not a "Jersey" viewer, and Mike (ha! dodged the nickname!) failed to appear for the cast announcement press conference, so my verdict's out on his on-screen persona until September 20 when the show premieres, but...I'm guessing he's probably not an absolutely horrible dancer. Goodness forbid a reality-TV star takes it all the way...
• Kurt Warner & Anna Trebunskaya: Anna's a tough, but effective teacher (and I still find her rather fun to watch, though her hair choices have often been a bit psychotic in seasons past), and Kurt's an affable, well-liked, charming football star. (Who played last for the Cardinals, my home team. Heck yes!) Both of these factors practically guarantee him at least a month on the dance floor, if he's terrible at dancing. If he's good? You might as well write him a ticket to at least the top 5. He'd have to try hard not to make it that far.

And one more thing...Edyta's FINALLY gone! I've been an outspoken critic of Ms. Sliwinska for a while, mainly due to her going out of her way to dress in a ridiculously risque fashion (I'm pretty sure the clothes that any other pro female dancer wears in one show adds up to more fabric than Edyta has worn in her entire 10-season DWTS run...remember that outfit last season where she was basically naked? Ugh...), and the fact that her choreography usually tends to put the spotlight on her, rather than her partner. That all aside, Edyta's been a loyal part of DWTS for 10 long seasons, and I wish her all the best in whatever she moves on to. Farewell, Edyta! Try to wear more clothes at college, will you? As for the rest of you...I'm excited for Season 11 to start. Are you? Be sure to comment/discuss/what have you, and I'll see you in a few weeks for the premiere. (Those of you who are also "Idol" fans should see me much sooner, as I plan to continue my Top 12 project tomorrow. Or thereabouts.) For now...viva la DWTS!

DWTS: Let's Meet The Cast of Season 11 (Part I)

Remember when I said about a week or two ago that I would continue my "Idol" Top 12 project posthaste? Weeell...life got in the way. (It often does, yes?) Yet again I offer another "I'll hopefully make a post about it tomorrow" semi-promise. But let's move to the matter at hand..."Dancing With The Stars," everyone's favorite celebrity-dancing show (SYTYCD, you're great, but you don't count...), just announced its new cast for its 11th season (I've been there since Season 2! How far DWTS has come...), and I'd be a fool not to comment (in a somewhat timely manner) on the stars (or lack thereof), the pairings, and the other developments that have arisen so far. (The Situation, a Palin, and the Hoff, oh my!) Because there's 12 partnerships, and I'm wont to ramble, I'll split it all into two parts. So...let's boogie down, and preview the latest season of...Dancing. "WITH THE STAHHHRS!"

• Michael Bolton & Chelsie Hightower: I have to say I'm not too thrilled to see the guy whose biggest hit (ish...my memory of those love song/power ballad infomercials is kind of off at the moment, so I can't remember that one other famous tune he's known for) is "Go The Distance" learn to dance, but ehhh, at least he's...classy? A recovering big hair addict? I inexplicably have a Christmas song by him on my iPod (hey, it was free on iTunes a year or so ago...)? Yeah, I guess those all work. The producers really came out of left-field, though, with the partner they chose for him. Chelsie's fun. She's a pretty good teacher (she turned a rodeo star AND a pro snowboarder into fairly legitimate dancers, which is no mean feat). And she's attractive. But...she's 21. And Michael Bolton is FIFTY-SEVEN. That age difference is beyond Demi & Ashton territory...it's more like Celine Dion & Rene Angelil...or the late Anna Nicole Smith & J. Howard Marshall. (She was in her late 20s/early 30s, and he was approaching 90.) K, maybe not that drastic. But still. I'm wondering how Chelsie & Michael are going to make, say, the rumba look like anything but creepy. Then again, Michael might not even make it that far...
• Margaret Cho & Louis Van Amstel: I loved Niecy & Louis last season, and I expect Margaret & Louis this season to be cut from a lot of the same cloth (hilarious, revelatory, charming, fun to watch). Although...Margaret comes from a lot dirtier line of comedy (pun actually NOT intended for once...and it doesn't make sense unless you know Niecy up until recently hosted "Clean House" :) ), and her line during the press conference that she knows some stripper moves was kind of...foreboding. Still...she seems unique, fun, and ready to plow through the competition HER way, which I like. And I survived Pamela Anderson last season (and after the awkward tornado of raunch that was her first dance, she actually toned the scandalousness down, believe it or not). So...bring it on, Margaret.
• Rick Fox & Cheryl Burke: And here's where my spotty knowledge of sports comes back to bite me. (The other times it does this mostly occur during the sports categories on "Jeopardy!") I honestly had no idea until Monday night's press conference who the heck Rick Fox is. So...I hope he's not boring. Or obnoxious. (Like, say, Jason Taylor or Lawrence Taylor, from seasons past, neither of whom did I particularly care for, because they were...you guessed it, boring and obnoxious, respectively. And I didn't realize until now they're both surnamed Taylor...DWTS should just stay away from athletes with that name, I guess. :) ) Though really, he's probably going to fill one of the usual "Brandon doesn't give a dang whether you stay or go" slots this season (and if he makes it far, perhaps one of the "Please go, Brandon likes the other people much better, and you're lame" slots more towards the finals).
• Jennifer Grey & Derek Hough: Jennifer's story (you can find it somewhere on the Internets) that getting ready to appear on DWTS saved her life (because of the visit she made to make sure she was in ship-shape for dancing, doctors discovered a serious issue with her neck and she was able to get surgery) is inspiring. And although I'm not a child of the 80s and I've never seen "Dirty Dancing" (you that ARE children of the 80s can yell at me now...), she seems very nice, agreeable, and totally game for whatever DWTS throws her way. I have to admit, though, I'm with a lot of people saying Derek being her partner is kind of a "What? Not AGAIN..." scenario. Derek has yet to have received a truly ghastly-at-dancing partner. Jennifer could prove us wrong...but probably not, even if her last dance experience was in a movie released 23 years ago. Derek's choreography is often terrific (three words from last season: 50s paso doble), and he's a fairly good teacher (even when he has little to teach), but as is true for a lot of viewers, he's really gotten on my nerves. An early exit, even though I like Jennifer and hope she does well, might be the best for all involved.
• David Hasselhoff & Kym Johnson: Call me crazy, but I'm not a big fan of the Hoff. His self-parody appearance in the SpongeBob movie was probably the height of his appeal/level of humor as far as I'm concerned, and he's practically the poster boy in my book for "washed-up." (His last gig? Judging "America's Got Talent," AKA the redheaded stepchild of summer reality shows. Le ouch.) So...unless he turns out to be a revelation, or really funny/fun to watch, I'm going to be rather unenthusiastic about his tenure on the show. It's nice to see Kym back, though. (Don't worry, Kym. Anyone would need a season off to recover from the craziness that is Donny Osmond. :) )
• Florence Henderson & Corky Ballas: Poor Corky's getting painted with the "creeper" brush from his, ahem, colorful turn as Cloris Leachman's partner back a few seasons ago (my, was that entertaining television... :) ), but he's a nice guy, and Florence, of course, is cheerful, charming, and kind of a respected TV/film/stage veteran or something. Being from Broadway, Florence has a slight edge over previous 'older' contestants, and adding to that what's bound to be a lot of sentimental voter appeal, Ms. Henderson just might be the first fairly legitimate contender anywhere near the age of 76. (Then again, I could be wrong. That's pretty much the same thing I said about Buzz last season. Sad.)

The other half of the cast coming tomorrow morning (this I'll make sure to fulfill, really) or so. For now...read. Comment. Discuss. Throw tomatoes at. Whatever floats your boat. For now...viva la DWTS! :)