DWTS Week 5: I'll Be There For You

Yet again I find myself posting a wee bit late, though this time I can actually say "wee bit late" rather than "oh, kind of, y'know, a week late or so...cough cough." The ballroom played host to only 8 couples this week (and now it's 7), so even though I also have the results show to address, I'll try to combine everything into one post this time around. And the couple that left us this week is...

• Florence & Corky. It's a bummer, because I really thought Florence was doing well and improving, and more importantly, she's dang fun and charming. Her tango on Monday wasn't too bad...the head-jerking was a bit awkward, and I tweeted that night that I felt it was a bit low on content, but it definitely wasn't elimination material. (In a departure from my usual attitude, I actually thought the "Brady Bunch" theme fit the tango well. At least it wasn't like some other musical choices Monday night...rantings to come.) There have been a few Internet rumblings that Florence was hurt by her innuendo-with-a-wink playfulness with Barry Williams, her former sitcom son and apparently my doppleganger (according to my family). Personally, I thought it was all in good fun (for the most part) myself. I've watched a few episodes of "The Brady Bunch" (Cindy staring at the camera...classic), and the show and its characters have a special place in my heart (except you, Fake Jan! OK, I have to admit I only learned about her evil ways from an excellent TV moments book I read... :) ), but I do have to admit I didn't grow up with the show, so I can't speak for all of you children of the 70s. Still, they're adults. She's 76 and he's 56. Give them a break. Anwyays, Florence, we'll miss you, and Corky...next partner you get (if you're lucky), actually give them some normal choreography!
• The rest of the results show: So far this season (and for most of last, if I remember right), DWTS has been pretty spot-on in picking their musical guests. Some of them have been "meh," but most of them have been fairly good/excellent. (Heck, even Daughtry & Santana surprised me with their live performance prowess.) Well, I might be in the minority here, but I think they have officially dropped the ball with Jason Derulo. His performances were...as I noted on Twitter rather bluntly..."pretty much a bunch of crap." He couldn't hack it on his live version of his own song ("In My Head"), sounding thin, out of breath, and even reverting to pre-recorded AutoTune for a little bit during the chorus. The dancing wasn't that great either. (Cliche coming in 3, 2, 1...Why is he popular? But really. Sad.) As for his cover of Ray Charles' classic "Georgia On My Mind"...no. Just no. Granted, although Ray recorded (without question) the definitive version, there have been many others that have done incredible justice to the song. But melisma-happy Mr. Derulo was not one of them. It made me die inside, pretty much. Thankfully, the other musical guest (who should have gotten two numbers instead...I bet she could have done better with "Georgia" than Jason did) was much, much, much better. Shakira was hot, spicy, and...I mean, she did a great job. Her live vocals were pretty impressive (after a little shakiness at the start).The dancing was...sexy amazing. Viva la Shakira!
• And because that bullet was getting too long...the fake commercials. Oh my. Loved the Bruno one (like I tweeted, Tiny Bruno would be immensely proud...do the naughty puma!), thought the "Easy Steps" one was 'meh' (though the Derek Hough being worth only $150 bit was priceless), and as for the David Hasselhoff "Hammer" one...no comment. :) And finally...the Mwano family...amazing. Their dance with the pros was terrific, and the whole story about how they bravely escaped the tragic hardships of the Congo, and how their mom didn't even know they were going to perform...wow. I definitely was very, very close to tears.

Now to the remaining couples...this is getting a bit long, ain't it? Oh well, we press on...

• Brandy & Maks (27/30, quickstep): Best dance of the night. Fast, fun, charming, great choreography, wonderfully executed. (And who knew the "Friends" theme song had more than one verse?!?) The judges made the right pick for their encore. As for the "Brandy/Maks hate each other" issue...I still honestly think they don't. Sure, they have tension in rehearsal, but pretty much every couple does. I think that one week where Brandy made the controversial "the solo was his idea!" comment, and they were fighting in rehearsal (coupled with the bottom-slapping from last week) spiraled into a "look, they're fighting! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" situation, where everyone (the media, the producers, fans of the show) jumped to brand them as bitter enemies. I think the sweet, charming, adorable relationship they showed in their quickstep on Monday was proof that that's not the case...and not just because Maks and Brandy are great at acting or something. They really are friends, and although they fight and argue (hello, it's Maks...since when has that ever not happened with him?), I believe things between them are ultimately all good.
• Kurt & Anna (24/30, quickstep): This week was the battle of "Bewitched" vs. Belka and Strelka...and "Bewitched" apparently won. (Though Belka and Strelka, as I learned from Wikipedia, were the first Earth-born dogs, or animals of any kind, to come back from a space mission alive. Yay!) The American-Russian culture clash between Kurt & Anna was fun, and Anna ended up actually having an impressive Samantha nose-wiggle. It was a delightful, energetic quickstep (I loved the 'magic' effects), and Kurt seemed pretty light on his feet and on top of things. His best dance so far? I would dare say yes.
• Audrina & Tony (23/30, rumba): What to do about Audrina? I'm definitely of the opinion that she's still a contender for the finals (her waltz & quickstep earlier in the season were excellent), but this week's rumba was a bit sleepy and continued to show weaknesses in her performance quality. Granted, they did have to do it to a not very rumba-friendly song (Natasha Bedingfield's lovely but ubiquitous hit "Unwritten"), and as we found out on Tuesday night, the band had a slip-up. But aside from that, it wasn't a very romantic/exciting rumba. Worrying signs that Audrina needs to step it up stylistically...but I maintain my position that I think she could take it all the way, if she brings her A-game in all aspects. (And stays away from eating any raw onions. :D)
• Kyle & Lacey (20/30, foxtrot): Well, the good news about Kyle this week is that we learned that if they're casting a "Charlie's Angels" reboot, they need look no further than Lacey, Kym, and Chelsie. (I would watch that show in a heartbeat. :) ) The bad news? Oh, a little something called the dance. The producers continued their streak of giving out simply crazy foxtrot songs (besides Jennifer & Derek below, Kurt & Anna have been the only couple this season to receive an actual foxtrot-friendly number...and it was "Bad Day," of all things...), and dealt Kyle & Lacey a doozy with the aforementioned "Angels" theme song. It kind of worked, but it was also kind of a complete mess. I'm kind of torn, though, on how to react to the judges...they definitely should have realized that it was a theme night, and that given the musical choice Lacey couldn't really choreograph much of a traditional foxtrot. However, they did bring up some fair points about Kyle's technique. And like Len, I wasn't really too much a fan of the dance. Although 20 was an incredibly low score, it didn't quite seem unfair to me...a sign that Kyle really needs to improve and polish his dancing.
• Rick & Cheryl (24/30, rumba): I sheepishly admit I didn't know which show this theme song came from until later ("Hill Street Blues"? OK...), but that aside, Rick did a very good job Monday night. His rumba was fairly romantic, smooth, and Cheryl did a great job of choreographing around the theme, but also keeping it firmly in the "rumba" category. It was well-danced, well-played, and I really liked it. Rick is back on track to go further in the competition, I think.
• Bristol & Mark (18/30, jive): Let's start this off with my Twitter thoughts after the dance, since I think they describe my feelings pretty concisely: "Fun start with the monkey suits for Bristol, it lost a bit of steam in the middle, but a terrific finish, I thought." The monkey-suit beginning kind of reminded me of the Jabbawockeez-inspired beginning of Shawn and Mark's terrific freestyle in season 8...in that they started off in fun costumes and had to hurriedly shed them a little bit into the dance. Sadly, on second watch, Bristol wasn't as nimble in her monkey suit as Shawn was in her costume...and the middle of the dance flatlined, and was kind of a mess. However, I thought she really pulled it together in the last third of the number, with a good amount of energy and movement (though I can see the viewpoint that the judges held, that she was a bit off the beat). That said...I like Bristol. I think she has great potential as a dancer. Still, her being announced as safe right off the bat last night was kind of a shocker (she had the lowest score of the night and isn't that beloved by what I've seen, after all), and I can't help feeling it should have been her going home. Hopefully she can rebound next week, but if not, next Tuesday night will probably be the date of her departure.
• Jennifer & Derek (25/30, foxtrot): Partly due to the fact that they actually got a proper foxtrot song (Frank Sinatra's jaunty "Love and Marriage"), unlike 90% of the couples this season (darn producers!), I really liked this performance. The 50s/TV theme was well-incorporated, and it was precise, fun, and charming. So where were the judges' tepid scores coming from? It was a fine dance, without any discernible shortcomings, and while a 10 might have been stretching it, it was definitely worthy of at least a 9. Jennifer and Derek's rehearsal blowout on the other hand? Ouch. That was not fun to watch. Let's hope that kind of fighting stays out of their future on-camera footage, or this couple could lose a great deal of viewer support.

So there you have it. Week 5 of "Dancing With The Stars" (spoken by the trusty "disembodied British voice," Alan Dedicoat :) )! I'll hopefully be back later this week with some best-dances-of-all-time posting (sadly, I no longer have the 30 dances the producers picked for reference, but I can get by otherwise), and, as I always mean to, some long-overdue "American Idol" Top 12 profile action. For now, enjoy your week, and viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 3 Results: Rainbow Disconnection

This week I'm back with a full results-show recap. I was able to watch the entire hour once again this week, and it was an interesting little creature. The highs, the lows...let's dive into them right now, starting with the hardest part...the elimination.

• The Elimination: I could rant on and on (well, maybe not that much, but pretty close) about Margaret Cho meeting an untimely end in the competition tonight. But I won't. Hopefully. What I will say: This is the first elimination of the season that hurt (David Hasselhoff was subpar and washed-up, Michael Bolton was likable but very bad at dancing, and ultimately couldn't take criticism). Margaret deserved better scores her last two dances. She shouldn't have gone home. And...biggest of all...why is The Situation still in the game?!?!? Yes, I know I said last night that his 'foxtrot' was his best dance of the competition. Yes, I know it got a 20. (Still don't think it deserved that, but oh well.) Yes, I know this is a televised competition involving 12 (well, now down to 9) people who make lots of money and are still probably very happy. So really...it's not that big of a deal that a reality star from Jersey who likes to act cocky and show his abs still gets to dance next week, even though he's nowhere near that good. But honestly, his dance from last night (which inexplicably got the encore) was even worse tonight. His on-screen persona is grating. His last two dances were fairly ghastly as well. For the love of Master P, America, send this clown home already!
• The Music: Well, perhaps I did end up ranting a bit. It happens sometimes. :) Anyways...the music was fairly good tonight. Ne-Yo's rap intro to his song was ponderous, but after that, things really kicked off. The most amazing thing I've ever seen/heard? Well, no. But good vocals, a fun story (he must have got the memo that it's Story Week!), and some classy dancing. (Dare I bring out the "he should be a contestant!" phrase? Eh, probably not. That would be nice, though.) And he even ended his performance by going down the path out of the studio! That was an unexpected twist. (Another unexpected...well, sort of...twist: Him lowering his mic to chase after his woman [AKA the indifferent dancer character], revealing that his singing may not have been entirely live. Oops!) As for Michael Bolton...I've never been a fan of his singing. I probably never will be a fan of his singing. And I have to admit the beginning of his rendition of "Hallelujah" (the Leonard Cohen chestnut that presumably Susan Boyle was indeed going to sing had she not bowed out, seeing as it's on her upcoming album, she does it with a children's choir, and I'm sure the dance had already been choreographed for it so Michael couldn't sing a song of his own instead) had me wishing he was doing his "worst jive in 11 seasons" instead. But he worked it out. It turned from overwrought to well-sung, from loud and shouty to pleasant and tender. And, of course, the fact that it was accompanied by a fog machine (always helpful to set the mood), the aforementioned children's choir (yay for young children with melodious harmonies!), and a simply gorgeous, tender routine by married couple Jonathan & Anna, didn't hurt. :)
• The Rest: Oh, Donny Osmond. First you appear in that ridiculous Mickey Mouse dancing commercial ("Mickey, you're making me look bad!" I don't think it's the mouse's fault, Donny...), then DWTS invites you back for a cheesy on-the-street segment. Well, it was fun. ("I wouldn't say no to Rick Fox..." by the woman who had just gotten married on Saturday was particularly chuckle-inducing.) That's all we can ask. And then there was the music/dance battle between Mark Ballas & Maks' incredibly similar-looking brother, Val Chmerkovskiy. (Dang it, I had to spell that last name again!) Val had his moment to shine on the violin, and then Mark stood out at the end with some fairly excellent electric guitar shredding. (I couldn't really hear his acoustic too much once the band came in, but it was great at the start.) And there was some excellent dancing, all of it to the one Britney Spears song I actually like (seriously, it's on my iPod), "Toxic." (I blame the strings.) Who won the battle? I was about to say Mark...but then he made some absolutely awkward faces during his electric guitar solo at the end. So maybe not him, in that case. :) At any rate, I was kind of distracted during this part, because it's been stormy all day, and the thunder/rain were going particularly crazy while Val and Mark battled it out.

So...there you have it. Week 3 of DWTS is officially over. Next week is a special Acoustic Week with an in-the-round setup (I can't wait to see how this plays out, it looks pretty dang cool), and according to a comment by Tom tonight, the following two weeks after that will also be newfangled theme weeks. So the next little while should be rather interesting. For now, I'll see you next week (or probably earlier, so I can do my promised Top 10 dances post and my long-delayed Idol finalists project). Viva la DWTS!

DWTS Week 1 Results: Dropping A Bomb

Finally! After season after season of voting off perfectly nice/fun/interesting/good people first (except for season 8, where 'comedian' Jeffrey Ross quite deservedly got the first boot) on "DWTS," America was rather merciful and swift last night in their voting, and one of my least favorite dancers last night was sent home. Who was it? Well, you can probably guess from the title...and y'know, the billions of spoilers now swimming around the Internet...anyhow, but we shall discuss below. Discussion beginning...now. :)

• The Elimination: In my recap last night, I minced no words (I hope?) when it came to my dislike of David Hasselhoff and his cha cha cha (sort of) to "Sex Bomb." So as you can probably guess, I was rather happy to see him go home tonight. Although I audibly expressed anger at The Situation being announced as safe for next week (if only it was a double elimination week...sigh...), at least my fellow DWTS voters had the sense to spare the viewing public any more misery, and send "The Hoff" packing. His dance wasn't good, I didn't see much potential, and had he stayed for a few more weeks, David would have probably been limping through the competition, more as a figurehead rather than an actual contender. He just wasn't good. I didn't like him. Sorry for all of you that do think he's the tops. I'm not one of them, and I don't think I'll ever be...but that's just me. A few random side notes: I was delighted to see some shaky (but excellent) prospects like Bristol, Margaret, and Audrina advance to next week (as I've told you, I'm an unexpectedly growing Bristol fan; Margaret has huge potential, and she's hilarious and charming; and Audrina gave a respectable performance on Monday, so I was glad to see that she beat the Shannen Doherty/Josie Maran/Paulina Porizkova/Trista Sutter Memorial Girl Who Isn't Very Well-Known, Doesn't Stand Out, or People Kind of Don't Like For Some Reason Gets Knocked Out First, Regrettably Curse! :) ) Also, David's first-week exit (according to my research) brings "DWTS" closer to once again balancing out the gender count for first eliminations of the show's 11 seasons. (Counting first weeks with double eliminations, 7 women have gone home first, while 6 men have.)
• The Music: Well, I was pleasantly surprised in this department. Hearing Tom & Brooke announce yesterday that Santana and Daughtry were the main musical guests caused me to not expect much from tonight's musical performances. (They did mention India.Arie too, so I was excited for that part. She's terrific!) Thankfully, I was wrong, and both singularly named acts started the season off strong with, as follows: a spicy version of "Oye Como Va" (a Santana standard that I had forgotten about until they used it to kick off the show); a serviceable performance of "September" by Daughtry (as was true on "AI" a few months, and also seasons, ago, his live voice is impressive); a beautiful Santana duet with India.Arie of the Beatles' standard "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"; and a surprisingly amazing take on "Photograph" by Def Leppard (I have to admit I had no clue which band this was a cover of until afterwards; my dad's a big fan of Def Leppard, but I'm certainly not) by Daughtry & Santana. I really liked the backstage-style intro with the pros at the beginning, and it really adds a lot of energy to the results-show broadcast by starting straight off with a fiery number. India.Arie's gorgeous pipes on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" were terrific as always (I want that studio version now), and Daughtry was rocking "Photograph" like there was no tomorrow. (He moves farther and farther away from his 4th place "Idol" finish and closer and closer to legend status every time I see him perform, even if I don't particularly care for his band's music.) And the huge lighted stage set-up was interesting, and provided for an interesting dynamic that made the performances feel fresh. (Though I'm sure the main stage where the Harold Wheeler Band usually performs on dance nights felt lonely. :) ) All in all...the producers are going to have a hard time topping this. (But please do try. Some jazz vocalists would be a great start. :) )
• The Rest: He's been adding color commentary to results-show nights for quite a few seasons (along with Jimmy Kimmel, who I hope is back, believe it or not), and I have to admit tonight's segment was a bit less laugh-out-loud funny than previous years, but I still (sort of) get a kick out of Adam Carolla's wacky "DWTS" antics. The bit where Len invented a dance (I forget which) was the highlight. Tom also got in a witty line of his own...he told The Situation and David that "We'll inform you of your fates later," then quipped, "We've got an hour to fill." Leave it to Tom to gently jab the results-show concept and make it funny and charming...as I noted on Twitter, why doesn't he have an Emmy yet?? (Same with Cat Deeley. I'm not a regular SYTYCD viewer by any means, but even I can tell that she's one of the best hosts ever. Quick on her feet, invested in the contestants, and British!! OK, "Cat and Tom should have Emmys" rant complete. :) ) And finally, I had no idea Louis van Amstel had a ponytail in Season 1. (This bit of info was shown in a picture of him & Trista as the first couple eliminated in U.S. "DWTS" history.) The things I missed that random first season! Dang... :)

And that's all I have to say about the results show tonight. I think. (You'll notice I kinda wrote a bit more than I usually do about these things. Probably because this was the first results show in a long time that I was able to sit down and watch in its entirety. Thank goodness it was a good one! :) ) Here's one last farewell to the Hoff, and see y'all next week for another dancing recap. For now...viva la DWTS!

The Playlist Is Up. The Dancing Shall Commence. :)

I got the "DWTS" related playlist (courtesy of the deliciously cool playlist.com) up! Most of the songs are ones related to dancing in general ("We're All In The Dance," "Save The Last Dance for Me, of course "Dancing With Myself," etc.), and I also will add as the season progresses, any songs that are danced to on the show that I enjoy. (Currently on there...hey, there weren't many I liked...are "Grace Kelly," "The Best Is Yet To Come," "I Want You Back," and "Ran Kan Kan.") In addition, I will add any cool guest performers' songs, like the amazing Joss Stone! (Well, once I can find any of her music on the Playlist.com thingy...) Enjoy the music, and enjoy the recaps! Cheese out!