DWTS Week 1, Part 2: Mama Told Me (Not To Come)

Well, I already did all my "welcome this recap! Brandon is now going to ramble a bit aimlessly for his intro" stuff in Part I, so let's dive right in to Part II. Vamos!

• Bristol & Mark (18/30, cha cha cha): Sit down children, and let me tell you a story.* Once upon a time, there was a quirky Alaskan governor named Sarah Palin, and John McCain picked her as his running mate. I was a big Obama/Biden fan at the time (still am, but that's another story), but I thought she was cool, and excited about her being the VP pick. Then as time went on...I wasn't. More time went on...it got worse. And now, I really can't stand her, to be frank. The end. But wait...there's another chapter to the story. A surprising chapter that came out of nowhere. I'm not quite sure exactly why, but I like Bristol Palin, and I voted for her 6 times (3 by phone, 3 online) tonight. I kid you not. (And I had seen her try to act, and fail miserably, in "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." If you want to watch the amusing/gruesome footage of that, check out the link in one of my "let's meet the cast" posts.) Her dance wasn't incredibly great, but it wasn't horrible to watch, and Bristol definitely wasn't as stiff and lifeless as Kate Gosselin was I thought she might be. (Sorry about that crossed-out portion. I forgot we agreed never to speak of the ____ in "____ Plus 8" again. :) ) There's a certain charm about her...she's shy, but nice, and seems to get along well with Mark in rehearsal...that cuts through all of the confusion at why she was picked for "Dancing With The Stars" when she's not a star in the first place, all of the increasingly hostile feelings I may have about her mother. She has potential as a dancer. I identify with her being shy and not entirely comfortable with loosening up (those have both been longtime faults of mine). So sue me. I think I'm becoming a fan of Bristol Palin (sort of) on "DWTS."
• Florence & Corky (18/30, cha cha cha): Much like the entire premiere in general tonight, I'm quite perplexed as to what my thoughts are with Florence and her...ahem, interesting first dance. I was a big Cloris fan back in season 7 (I still think the woman is hilarious, but I'll still never get what possessed me to vote so many times for her that season), but in a surprise to myself, I'm not quite there yet with Florence...the dance was kind of all over the place. Some of the steps were off, some of the humor didn't work (remember when I said Corky wasn't as creeper-y as people made him out to be? I think I've changed my mind now...what the heck happened to his voice? And he still has a fixation on naughty choreography...), and it wasn't quite all there. That said, Florence is charming and unpredictable (that whole bra-flashing thing before one of the breaks was out of nowhere, and my mouth stayed open in shock for about 20 seconds, but it also made me laugh), and I'd be quite glad for her to stay in the competition at least a few more weeks.
• Michael & Chelsie (16/30, Viennese waltz): I'm still not sold on the 36-year age gap between Mr. Bolton & Chelsie, and tonight's pretty lame dance did them no favors. Chelsie was terrific--both in outfit choice (she's wearing clothes! And they cover her body!) and dancing--but Michael was not. He was stiff, boring, and a bit clumsy. I found myself inadvertently focusing on Chelsie mid-dance...and when I tried to switch back to watching Michael, I found my eyes drifting back to Chelsie again. He's just not an engaging dance presence, and I have a feeling that's going to really hurt him in the long run. He's probably going to be benefited this week by both a promising female fanbase (remember the crazed fans in "Music & Lyrics"? I have a feeling those same types of fans will be dialing through the roof for him...) and being close to last in the broadcast, but I doubt he'll last much longer unless he really shapes up technique and personality-wise. Still, even if he ends up departing quickly (I kind of hope he does), he'll always have his hair. (Those first two pictures they showed of him in his rehearsal package intro were wild. :) )
• Mike ("The Situation") & Karina (15/30, cha cha cha): Seeing as he was largely absent from 99% of the pre-season promo materials because he was wrapping up season 3 of "Jersey Shore," I waited until tonight to make a verdict on Mr. Sorrentino (AKA, of course, "The Situation") purely based on the fact that I had no clue how he acted on camera (save from media accounts), and thus wanted to give him a fair shake. I did. About 30 seconds to a minute into his rehearsal footage...he was already getting on my nerves. The press is right about him...he's cocky, abrasive, and I'm pretty sure he was at least somewhat drunk in part of his rehearsal footage. I know he had only 5 days to practice, but his dance was pretty much a trainwreck--it didn't click together at all, and was pretty dang painful to watch. Might America be merciful and let us only have to suffer through one dance by "The Situation"? These are the same people that let both Kathy Ireland & the lady who we have agreed not to speak of (see Bristol's section for clarification if needed) last for much longer than they needed to, but they also were the same people that had the sense to give the annoying Jake Pavelka last season a fairly early exit. And Karina has never been a well-liked pro, so he doesn't have that going for him. So I'm staying positive. :)
• Jennifer & Derek (24/30, Viennese waltz): It's probably the fact that I've never seen "Dirty Dancing" and thus don't have the fond, fond memories of it that have been running around for 20+ years in the minds of those who were children of the 80s. But I wasn't that impressed with Jennifer Grey's first dance...it was nice, it was somewhat inspiring, but I wasn't quite sold on it. Jennifer seemed kind of awkward and disjointed tonight--there were absolutely beautiful lines there, but also quite a few bad transitions as well. And her crying in rehearsal about the late Patrick Swayze was heartbreaking, but also a little foreboding...I feel really, really sorry for her (how hard would it be to to a dancing show just a year or two after the tragic, early death of the person who you starred with years ago in a movie about the same subject??), but crying every week in rehearsal doesn't usually end well ("DWTS" voters get frustrated, it becomes less fun to watch, it makes you look like a drama queen even when you're perfectly nice and wonderful, like Jennifer is). I'm looking forward to next week, though. Len said, "let's see you jive next week." I agree...an excellent performance next week could turn me from semi-doubter to semi-fan. You never know just how "DWTS" will surprise.
• David & Kym (15/30, cha cha cha): Kym asked (somewhat rhetorically) in the post-dance interview, "Who doesn't love the Hoff?" As I answered back in my live tweeting during the show..."I don't, that's who." I simply do not get why people think he's cool, fun, or appealing in any way, shape, or form. He's aged the opposite of gracefully. He still insists on making a point of keeping his cheesy 80s/90s TV work a major selling point of his career today. Kym may have had the same kind of partner in season 9 (Donny Osmond, a sort-of washed up 80s/90s heartthrob seen as cheesy), but Donny actually could dance somewhat well. David, on the other hand...nope. It was really uncomfortable to watch. He doesn't move well, Kym is a good teacher and choreographer but not an amazing one, and thus even she couldn't keep it from turning into one big trainwreck. David went last, and like I said above, lots of people seem to like him. So if he goes home tomorrow night, it will be quite a shocker...but, quite frankly, it will be a shocker that makes me very, very happy.

And that's the premiere of season 11. I'll be back tomorrow night with my take on the results, but for now, here are my traditional groupings of the dancers so far:

They Did Great, And I Like 'Em: Brandy, Kurt, Rick (surprisingly, but no votes yet), and Audrina (sort of, I didn't end up voting for her either)

They Didn't Do So Well, But I'm Still A Fan: Margaret, Bristol (still don't know why)

Nice Dancing, But I Don't Really Like You Yet: Kyle, Jennifer, Florence

Please Go, You're No Good: David, Michael, "The Situation"

See you tomorrow for my results recap (which will hopefully be fairly on time). For now...viva la DWTS! :)

(*Typing this line reminded me of an obscure "Arthur" line I'd like to share with y'all, where he was trying to write poetry based on "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere": "Listen my children, and I will tell you/About a duck and a chicken, on a bus to Oklahomu! Ewwww..." :D)

DWTS Week 1, Part 1: Crazy

And here we are. "Dancing With The Stars" is back for its 11th season. Tonight's premiere was...OK, to be frank, I'm still not quite sure what to think of it. But as I've learned through watching "DWTS" ever since season 2 (me and my family missed its inaugural season completely), first impressions can be quite off. So even if this was a somewhat underwhelming first night, I'm pretty confident the season can get better...as I wrote in my parting live tweet after the show, "There's still lots of dancing to come. So nowhere to go but up..." And with that, let's waltz into recapping the DWTS premiere...

• Audrina & Tony (19/30, cha cha cha): Not being a viewer of "The Hills," I wasn't very familiar with Audrina before tonight (knew the name, barely knew the face, but that's basically where my knowledge ends), and wasn't expecting much. She exceeded my expectations with a respectable cha cha cha...not too dirty, not too stiff, and not too boring. It was nice, fun, and she showed some potential. In addition, her personality was pleasant (though a bit boring, which could be a liability in the long run). That said...she was first out of the gate. I can't imagine her having many built-in fans. And she received pretty good, but not amazing scores. As we learned from the sad case of Shannen Doherty last season (and other first-week eliminations strewn across "DWTS" history), these qualities can easily add up to an early exit. Audrina's days might be numbered, but I hope they're not. I kind of like her (even though I didn't vote for her), and I think the best is yet to come in terms of her dancing.
• Kurt & Anna (19/30, Viennese waltz): The likable Audrina was followed by the even more likable Kurt Warner, a former Cardinals (yeah, Cardinals!!!!) player who turned in a just as respectable show on the dance floor. Given the fact that he's a bit more interesting personality-wise (a large, cute family helps :) ), and that his long football career (he helped the Cards reach the Super Bowl in '08! Sorry, but as you can tell, can't help my inner Cardinals fanboy from popping out...) gives him a pretty large fanbase from the beginning, he's probably going to stay a while no matter how well he dances going forward. So it's good that he gave a promising start, and with the always-dependable Anna as a partner, he could really grow and improve as the season progresses.
• Kyle & Lacey (23/30, cha cha cha): The artist formerly known as Cory Baxter has never been a favorite of mine, so bear that in mind whenever I type about him, but...I wasn't completely a fan of his and Lacey's cha cha cha tonight, or his personality (but then again, that's something I've never really cared for). He danced well, but Lacey's choreography seemed to rely a bit more on sex than it should have, and seeing as Kyle's 19 (and looks a bit younger), that didn't quite sit well with me as a viewer. And maybe it's my inner Len speaking out, but the opening with the locker was incredibly pointless. Still, Kyle seems to be yet another celebrity to form an easy partnership with the adventurous Lacey (her line asking him if he was staring at her cleavage during rehearsal had me laughing profusely), and there could be worse people to go far in the competition (cough cough, Situation and the Hoff...I'll get to you both later...). And I bet all the people who were going "Who the heck is Kyle Massey?" pre-season are probably totally bowled over that he's suddenly become a favorite, which should make things interesting. :)
• Rick & Cheryl (22/30, Viennese waltz): As you probably were able to gather if you read my pre-season "let's meet the cast" posts, I wasn't too excited about Rick Fox. I'd never heard of him, he looked like the kind of dancer who would rely on looks rather than talent (which is pretty much 80% of the show's past male contestant population, sigh...), and I don't know, I just didn't really care for him upon first impression. After viewing the rehearsal footage and seeing how dang tall he is, my expectations stayed pretty low...and then I saw his Viennese waltz, and I was in for quite a surprise. Against all odds, I really liked it. He was incredibly graceful, not just for someone approaching 7 feet tall, but for someone dancing in general, and the dance was just classy and nice to watch. I'm not quite elevated to "fan" territory yet, but count Rick as probably giving the best first impression both personality and talent-wise (in my eyes) of the male dancers this season.
• Margaret & Louis (15/30, Viennese waltz): As is often the case with me and the resident comedians of "DWTS," I really like Margaret. She's fun, the family atmosphere of "DWTS" enables us to watch a slightly toned-down version of her humor (the same was the case with Kathy Griffin on "Celebrity Mole: Hawaii" years ago...I loved her on that show, but I generally veer away from whatever she's done after it, because her raunchy humor really isn't my cup of tea), and the sentiments she expressed during rehearsal that she wanted to feel beautiful and accepted were really sweet. All this means...dang it about her dance, and her score. The first quarter of it started off great--and then it veered into uneasy comedy territory, and by the time she had gotten tangled up in her cape and then intentionally made a few stumbles, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. The problem was rather Louis choreographing more around her comedic persona than the dancing skill she probably is able to demonstrate (he did this a lot with Niecy last season, admittedly in a more effective way). He played for laughs rather than for the "she really CAN dance!" factor, and thus the scores suffered. I hope Margaret doesn't get knocked off early tomorrow, and that the genuine charm she showed in her rehearsal footage and (most of) her dance is enough to carry her into next week. If so, she and Louis better bring their A-game next week. If not, then this season might be a little less fun to watch.
• Brandy & Maks (23/30, Viennese waltz): And here's one of the best dances of the night. It wasn't exactly Nicole-last-season-first-dance good (I eventually made my peace with Nicole last season, was glad she won, and in retrospect see her as an incredibly good dancer), or Kristi-in-season-6-holy-crap-she's-going-to-win-this-whole-thing-ain't-she-first-dance good (:D), but it was classy, elegant, and the lines were beautiful. Brandy (who, as I have previously stated, have fond memories of from the excellent 1997 Wonderful World of Disney production of "Cinderella") also showed much more interesting of a personality than I thought she would have in rehearsal footage, becoming a brilliant foil to Maks (who amusingly and strangely proclaimed he would be more of a softie this season, then proceeded to sort of abandon this) by being tough on herself, and pushing him to push her and work her hard. They're fun to watch (I think Denise Richards has been the only person that's NOT been fun to watch with Maks), it's the makings of a great partnership, and I think Brandy is bound to go far in this competition, much like that other singularly-named 90s singer back in season 9 (cough cough, Mya, cough cough). (You know me and my comparisons. I can't help but make 'em.)

That's all for Part I (Part II coming up hopefully right after this one, but it might be delayed until tomorrow morning in a worst-case scenario). See you in a bit for the next 6 dancers' recap (here's a teaser: I actually like Bristol Palin, and I don't know why!), and for now, viva la DWTS! :)

Let's Roll Out The Welcome Wagon...

Hello, everyone! Welcome to my blog. My OTHER blog. :) I've been wanting for a while to start one just containing my thoughts about "Dancing With The Stars" and "American Idol," since they are two shows I love to watch, and I often have strong opinions about them. And since I always love reading the recaps all over the Internet...I've decided to write my own. On the Internet. For everyone to see. :D If I remember and/or it strikes my fancy, I also will post any news/commentary/whatever on here that pertains to this blog. Now you're probably thinking (at least if you know me...), "When will he have time to update this thing?!?" (especially since I NEVER update my personal blog...). That is a valid question, and here is the answer: since A. I don't always have too much free time (or at least, I shouldn't), and B. Watching the shows conflicts with my schedule majorly, and I have to catch them the next day most often, I will update as often and as soon as I can. That may be the night of, that may be almost a week after. However it works out...but I will try to keep them as close to the show they're talking about as possible. My first recap, for example, about last night's show, will be coming sometime tonight, after I finish watching all the dances. Get excited! Tell your friends! Watch the shows, of course! Comment like the wind! And above all, enjoy this blog. I hope you like it. :)

Sincerely,
Brandon