- Bristol & Mark (18/30, cha cha cha): Sit down children, and let me tell you a story.* Once upon a time, there was a quirky Alaskan governor named Sarah Palin, and John McCain picked her as his running mate. I was a big Obama/Biden fan at the time (still am, but that's another story), but I thought she was cool, and excited about her being the VP pick. Then as time went on...I wasn't. More time went on...it got worse. And now, I really can't stand her, to be frank. The end. But wait...there's another chapter to the story. A surprising chapter that came out of nowhere. I'm not quite sure exactly why, but I like Bristol Palin, and I voted for her 6 times (3 by phone, 3 online) tonight. I kid you not. (And I had seen her try to act, and fail miserably, in "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." If you want to watch the amusing/gruesome footage of that, check out the link in one of my "let's meet the cast" posts.) Her dance wasn't incredibly great, but it wasn't horrible to watch, and Bristol definitely wasn't as stiff and lifeless as
Kate Gosselin wasI thought she might be. (Sorry about that crossed-out portion. I forgot we agreed never to speak of the ____ in "____ Plus 8" again. :) ) There's a certain charm about her...she's shy, but nice, and seems to get along well with Mark in rehearsal...that cuts through all of the confusion at why she was picked for "Dancing With The Stars" when she's not a star in the first place, all of the increasingly hostile feelings I may have about her mother. She has potential as a dancer. I identify with her being shy and not entirely comfortable with loosening up (those have both been longtime faults of mine). So sue me. I think I'm becoming a fan of Bristol Palin (sort of) on "DWTS." - Florence & Corky (18/30, cha cha cha): Much like the entire premiere in general tonight, I'm quite perplexed as to what my thoughts are with Florence and her...ahem, interesting first dance. I was a big Cloris fan back in season 7 (I still think the woman is hilarious, but I'll still never get what possessed me to vote so many times for her that season), but in a surprise to myself, I'm not quite there yet with Florence...the dance was kind of all over the place. Some of the steps were off, some of the humor didn't work (remember when I said Corky wasn't as creeper-y as people made him out to be? I think I've changed my mind now...what the heck happened to his voice? And he still has a fixation on naughty choreography...), and it wasn't quite all there. That said, Florence is charming and unpredictable (that whole bra-flashing thing before one of the breaks was out of nowhere, and my mouth stayed open in shock for about 20 seconds, but it also made me laugh), and I'd be quite glad for her to stay in the competition at least a few more weeks.
- Michael & Chelsie (16/30, Viennese waltz): I'm still not sold on the 36-year age gap between Mr. Bolton & Chelsie, and tonight's pretty lame dance did them no favors. Chelsie was terrific--both in outfit choice (she's wearing clothes! And they cover her body!) and dancing--but Michael was not. He was stiff, boring, and a bit clumsy. I found myself inadvertently focusing on Chelsie mid-dance...and when I tried to switch back to watching Michael, I found my eyes drifting back to Chelsie again. He's just not an engaging dance presence, and I have a feeling that's going to really hurt him in the long run. He's probably going to be benefited this week by both a promising female fanbase (remember the crazed fans in "Music & Lyrics"? I have a feeling those same types of fans will be dialing through the roof for him...) and being close to last in the broadcast, but I doubt he'll last much longer unless he really shapes up technique and personality-wise. Still, even if he ends up departing quickly (I kind of hope he does), he'll always have his hair. (Those first two pictures they showed of him in his rehearsal package intro were wild. :) )
- Mike ("The Situation") & Karina (15/30, cha cha cha): Seeing as he was largely absent from 99% of the pre-season promo materials because he was wrapping up season 3 of "Jersey Shore," I waited until tonight to make a verdict on Mr. Sorrentino (AKA, of course, "The Situation") purely based on the fact that I had no clue how he acted on camera (save from media accounts), and thus wanted to give him a fair shake. I did. About 30 seconds to a minute into his rehearsal footage...he was already getting on my nerves. The press is right about him...he's cocky, abrasive, and I'm pretty sure he was at least somewhat drunk in part of his rehearsal footage. I know he had only 5 days to practice, but his dance was pretty much a trainwreck--it didn't click together at all, and was pretty dang painful to watch. Might America be merciful and let us only have to suffer through one dance by "The Situation"? These are the same people that let both Kathy Ireland & the lady who we have agreed not to speak of (see Bristol's section for clarification if needed) last for much longer than they needed to, but they also were the same people that had the sense to give the annoying Jake Pavelka last season a fairly early exit. And Karina has never been a well-liked pro, so he doesn't have that going for him. So I'm staying positive. :)
- Jennifer & Derek (24/30, Viennese waltz): It's probably the fact that I've never seen "Dirty Dancing" and thus don't have the fond, fond memories of it that have been running around for 20+ years in the minds of those who were children of the 80s. But I wasn't that impressed with Jennifer Grey's first dance...it was nice, it was somewhat inspiring, but I wasn't quite sold on it. Jennifer seemed kind of awkward and disjointed tonight--there were absolutely beautiful lines there, but also quite a few bad transitions as well. And her crying in rehearsal about the late Patrick Swayze was heartbreaking, but also a little foreboding...I feel really, really sorry for her (how hard would it be to to a dancing show just a year or two after the tragic, early death of the person who you starred with years ago in a movie about the same subject??), but crying every week in rehearsal doesn't usually end well ("DWTS" voters get frustrated, it becomes less fun to watch, it makes you look like a drama queen even when you're perfectly nice and wonderful, like Jennifer is). I'm looking forward to next week, though. Len said, "let's see you jive next week." I agree...an excellent performance next week could turn me from semi-doubter to semi-fan. You never know just how "DWTS" will surprise.
- David & Kym (15/30, cha cha cha): Kym asked (somewhat rhetorically) in the post-dance interview, "Who doesn't love the Hoff?" As I answered back in my live tweeting during the show..."I don't, that's who." I simply do not get why people think he's cool, fun, or appealing in any way, shape, or form. He's aged the opposite of gracefully. He still insists on making a point of keeping his cheesy 80s/90s TV work a major selling point of his career today. Kym may have had the same kind of partner in season 9 (Donny Osmond, a sort-of washed up 80s/90s heartthrob seen as cheesy), but Donny actually could dance somewhat well. David, on the other hand...nope. It was really uncomfortable to watch. He doesn't move well, Kym is a good teacher and choreographer but not an amazing one, and thus even she couldn't keep it from turning into one big trainwreck. David went last, and like I said above, lots of people seem to like him. So if he goes home tomorrow night, it will be quite a shocker...but, quite frankly, it will be a shocker that makes me very, very happy.
They Did Great, And I Like 'Em: Brandy, Kurt, Rick (surprisingly, but no votes yet), and Audrina (sort of, I didn't end up voting for her either)
They Didn't Do So Well, But I'm Still A Fan: Margaret, Bristol (still don't know why)
Nice Dancing, But I Don't Really Like You Yet: Kyle, Jennifer, Florence
Please Go, You're No Good: David, Michael, "The Situation"
See you tomorrow for my results recap (which will hopefully be fairly on time). For now...viva la DWTS! :)
(*Typing this line reminded me of an obscure "Arthur" line I'd like to share with y'all, where he was trying to write poetry based on "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere": "Listen my children, and I will tell you/About a duck and a chicken, on a bus to Oklahomu! Ewwww..." :D)
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