Week 1 Results: The First Cuts Are The Cleanest

Wow, it's been a LONG time since I posted on this thing...two whole hours! (And a half.) OK, so I just finished my night 2 post as the results show was starting. Is that a crime? I think not. As for the results show, due to unforeseen circumstances (and, of course, me getting my recap done late), I wasn't able to watch all of it as I planned. However, I don't think I missed much...Miley Cyrus' new video (which I assume was to the uber-catchy, but also uber-shallow, "Party in the U.S.A.")? Sean Kingston? The first elimination, which went exactly as I predicted? I could not have cared less. Well, let's get to the parts I did get to see...and of course, my reaction to the eliminations. I would say SPOILER ALERT, but since no one is reading this blog at the moment, and you've probably seen the show already and know what happened, I won't bother. If you really care, though, you can close your eyes. I won't mind. :)

• The Eliminations (bum bum bum): Ashley Hamilton gave his last (and only) waltz on Monday, on the men's side. This was the elimination I missed, and it didn't surprise me one bit. While Mr. Hamilton (or shall we call him George's son?) was unexpectedly charming and had a somewhat inspiring personal story, his dancing just...wasn't good. Couple that with his subpar level of fame, and you've got a typical case of "first week DWTS reject." As for the women, I wasn't too shocked at Macy's ouster, but really, was she better than Kathy? Weeell...maybe not. But she was certainly more interesting and genuine, which was why I was totally rooting for Macy in the tense split-screen showdown that precedes any elimination. She was unpredictable, wacky, and cool as a cucumber. (And I didn't vote for her!) What probably happened was that Kathy had the older (or at least older than 18) crowd in the palm of her hand voting-wise, and Ms. Gray didn't. And you all know which age group watches this show in greater numbers. I guess you can't win them all, I suppose. Hopefully America will be merciful next week and realize that the bland Mrs. Kmart's time is up.
• The Other Stuff: I tuned in just in time to see the cast of "The Lion King" give a killer performance on the "DWTS" floor. Nice. (And Tom Bergeron's comment about Tom DeLay taking special interest in the large elephant? I laughed. Though mostly just because it was related to politics.) The tribute to Patrick Swayze was very well-done, also. (Confession time: I've never seen a Patrick Swayze movie. Sorry, but I just haven't. I'm sure he was great in them, though.) And that's pretty much all I saw. Weird.

The Last Word: America (or at least, the portion of America that actually takes time to vote for "DWTS") got it mostly right this week, their only vice being the elimination of the deliciously weird Macy rather than the painfully dull Kathy. (At least Macy wasn't actually a great dancer. Then it would actually hurt.) The aforementioned Mrs. Kmart (I'm so calling her that now...) is likely doomed next Tuesday, unless she pulls out some vastly improved dancing skills, or someone else ends up doing worse. A LOT worse. Low scorers this week Michael and Tom are likely to get better (well, Tom might not, but he sure has the novelty factor going for him, so he's not foxtrotting off the floor anytime soon), so yeah...Kathy's "DWTS" run is likely to be very short.

I've gotten through my first week of recaps! I'm not entirely sure anyone is reading this blog at this point, but I hope you (whoever you are) enjoyed it...I'll be back next week with lots more. Keep dancing, keep reading, and keep spreading the word. Cheese out!