- Debi Mazar & Maks (they even shorten it now on the show!) (16/30 for salsa, 3rd in foxtrot relay): Debi is one of those "DWTS" celebrities that presents an interesting predicament...you know her face, but you likely didn't know her name until the mysterious British announcer called, "Dancing the salsa, it's Debi Mazar, and her partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy!" She's a veteran character actress, popping up in everything from "Beethoven 2nd" to "The Women" to "Entourage." (Bleh, yeah!, and couldn't care less.) So she doesn't necessarily have a built-in fan base...but she does sure as heck have a personality, and it's a fun one. Her ADD and chatterboxing in rehearsals was pretty darn hilarious, and she definitely knows the balance between being a workhorse and being lively. Her dancing skills? OK. Her salsa was fun, albeit a little technically unsound. The judges' low score was a bit disheartening for the understated fireball, and her foxtrot was a bit disjointed, but I'm not ready to count her out yet. Didn't vote for her, but if she increases on her very evident potential, I just may be dialing for Debi.
- Melissa Joan Hart & Mark (18/30 for Viennese waltz, 3rd in cha cha relay): Ah, Melissa. She has charmed our hearts and she definitely has the magic touch. Some even would say she knows it all. OK, enough with the punniness...but really, how cool is it to have "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" on "Dancing"? Like Mark, I made sure to watch the show every day (although it was banned for a time in our house...don't ask...and it was on at night, so I don't really get the "rushing home from school" thing...), and now she's all grown up and whatnot. Tear? OK, that would be overdoing it...down to the nitty-gritty. Melissa isn't amazing as I thought she would be. However, her Viennese Waltz was chock-full of potential and elegance. (And it was accompanied by a surprisingly on-point version of "The Time of My Life," by a much-improved band.) She did seem a bit nervous, but still, weren't you feeling the love, judges' table? It was classy and nice. Hopefully she'll upgrade to "beautiful and amazing" in the weeks to come...and work on her Latin skills, as contrary to the judges, I thought her cha cha was a little weak. Still, she's cast her spell on me...and my cell phone-dialing fingers. OK, that's the last pun I'll make. (Not. :) )
- Mya & Dmitry (21, should have been 24/30 for Viennese waltz, 1st in cha cha relay): It's pretty hard to hide the fact that Mya has a leg up in the competition...she says she hasn't been trained in dance, but still...you can't really deny it. She's a natural, for sure. I don't really mind, though, that she's slightly ahead of the game, because her personality is remarkably radiant and genuine, and to watch her dance (even with flagrant Anti-Heartthrob League violator Dmitry, who FINALLY openly admitted he makes a point of going shirtless, the dork...) is a delight. Her Viennese was terrific, marred only by Len having a cow (an evil cow, not a good one) about how the waltz was too "American smooth." I would understand docking her a point, maybe even two as a stretch. But a FIVE? Are you MAD, Mr. Goodman? That dance was amazing, and you know it. So stop your nit-picking now, please. Oh well. The lady with only one name and lots of dancing talent redeemed herself--both with the judges and anybody left that wasn't charmed by her first dance--with a fiery, Kristi/Sabrina-esque cha cha. Take that, cranky Brit who hasn't had his daily bath!
- Kathy Ireland & Tony (not the tiger) (16/30 for salsa, 4th in foxtrot relay): Remember the last few seasons, the raft of older women that have been dancing their hearts out on this here show? Jane Seymour charmed me til the end. Susan Lucci was...eh. (Yet somehow I voted for her. I don't rightly remember why.) And now Kathy Ireland, the former swimsuit model with a billion-dollar retail enterprise? Well...it was definitely more Susan than Jane. (And for those of you who say there isn't a difference, bah to you.) Her salsa was tepid and there were more than a few timid, misplaced steps. She wasn't completely a trainwreck, but it was just the kind of performance that lacked charm. Oh, charm...something that eludes Ms. Ireland. Her persona (both in rehearsal footage and in the green room) is sunny, but stilted. Much like her foxtrot. Lest this sounds like a merciless referendum on Kathy, I will say that she's not annoying. But she's not interesting, either, and in a field of 16 contestants, in addition to the fact that her fan base is likely to be very weak (she's rich and a model...two strikes, you're almost out), leaves her a very likely candidate for elimination.
- Natalie Coughlin & Alec (19/30 for salsa, 2nd in foxtrot relay): Are they putting something in the water at the Olympics? Natalie is the latest in a long line of stellar athlete/dancers (and Maurice Greene) to hail from Gold/Silver/Bronze-land, and while she has a bit to go, her salsa was engaging. Bruno hit it right on the nose (aah, I'm agreeing with Mr. Annoying!) about a certain quality of her dance--she had a tendency to freeze up a bit at points, which made her dance seem slightly disjointed. Still, it was full of energy, and Ms. Coughlin (Cog-lin, not Cough-lin, I have discovered) has nowhere to go but up. And her foxtrot? Holy cow. Class, poise, elegance, technique, and a sense of fun all combined to make an excellent 30 seconds. Come on, judges...join the club!
- Macy Gray & Jonathan (15/30 for Viennese waltz, 4th in cha cha relay): It would be easy to dislike Ms. Gray. After all, her dancing skills leave a lot to be desired, she at times seems bored and diva-esque in rehearsals, and she dropped ahem, the "cherry" bomb, prompting a little visit from the "DWTS" censors. (By the way, judges' reaction to that...inspired. Especially the hilariously squeaky Carrie Ann.) Still, I can't help not finding a place in my heart for the quirky Macy...she's just too delightfully weird for me NOT to like her. The judges aptly pointed out, she has a certain quality on the dance floor that's engaging, even if her steps most certainly aren't. (And oh my goodness, Bruno's riotously funny description of her as a "baby taking their first steps" was probably his finest hour. If only he could find the right judging formula so well every week...) Her VW surprised me for sure, and her cha cha was interesting, to say the least. Not voting for her at the moment, but if she gets eliminated, I will definitely miss her. At least a bit.
- Joanna Krupa & Derek (24/30 for salsa, 1st in foxtrot relay): Pardon me, folks...but I'm not exactly on the Joanna train yet. Her dancing skills? Very excellent. Still, I thought the salsa's sex appeal (duly noted by the judges) was a little too ham-handed...code, scandalous...with nothing to show for it. And her personality? 1-800-A Bit Obnoxious. And she fact that her foxtrot was a step below Natalie's, yet she took the 1st place spot anyways, is likely an omen of things to come...things that will likely bother me, things that involve her becoming a front-runner even when I'm left a bit cold when she takes the floor. She has the skills...but not the charisma. Sorry, Joanna.
- Kelly Osbourne & Louis (23/30 for Viennese waltz, 2nd in cha cha relay): What a wonderful surprise! Here I was expecting another Ozzy...after all, this is the young lady who grew up in a home taped by MTV and averse to throwing hams over their fence...but wow, did Kelly impress! An example of my thought process while watching the rehearsal footage, then the dance: "Whoa, she's like Mel B! Wait, no she isn't...lol, she called her dancing "crap!"...holy cowpies, she's good! Yep, I was right about the Mel B comparison." She's astoundingly winsome, has a smile that will make you all warm and fuzzy inside, and her parents (even Ozzy!) were nearly and/or already in tears by the end of her moving Viennese. Her cha cha was also a real treat. I never thought I'd say this, but Kelly for the win! Do it for Mel B!
My Faves: Kelly!, Natalie, Melissa, and Mya.
So Far, Not So Great: Kathy and Joanna.
Just There: Debi and Macy (though Ms. Gray gets extra points for quirkiness).
That's all the time I have. See you tonight for my results show recap! Cheese out! :)
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