Top 8 Girls Night: The Story

Well, I thought I was recapping with less than an hour to go before the traditional Wednesday night "Idol" episode, but it turns out it's at 8. (Fox really needs to stop confusing me with its back-and-forth schedule.) So I have time to ramble. But I shouldn't. (But I probably will. :) ) Tuesday night was thankfully only an hour (two would have been badly stretched-out overkill), and it was thankfully pleasant to watch (afterwards on Rickey.org, for the THIRD DANG WEEK in a row I had something during the girls' performances...is this a curse??), but I'm kind of worried about the eliminations on Thursday. This could turn rather ghastly.

• Katie Stevens: There was a time when I was an enthusiastic fan of Katie. I was excited to see what she would do in the semifinals. I really enjoyed her vocal stylings. I even, I kid you not, compared her to last season's similarly teen-aged redheaded phenom, Allison Iraheta. That time has passed, and after Katie's third successive lackluster performance last night, I regret to say that I take that all back. The 17-year-old Ms. Stevens has gone from OK (a fiery but robotic "Feeling Good") to middling (a disappointingly flat take on "Put Your Records On") to just plain depressing, with this week's sadly out-of-her-element performance of "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson. Her notes weren't quite on pitch. Her personality was sorely lacking. It was quite nearly painful to listen to, and a horrible note on which to begin the show. The entire 2 minutes, I kept audibly asking, "What's happened to her?" Where did the girl with a powerful voice and an excellently balanced sense of maturity go? The girl who knew how to pick songs (during Hollywood Week) that both showed some brassy pipes and also some age-appropriate personality? That girl has left the building, it seems, and I can no longer make any excuses for Katie. Her struggles at song choice & following the judges notwithstanding, she has failed to bring a compelling performance in her three weeks in the semifinals, and that's a shame, but it's also shameful. If America has any sense, they will send Katie packing, so she can have time to truly find herself as an artist. Because if she was to end up staying and making the Top 12, we all know that it would be painful for all parties involved. (Side note: Simon threw a curveball when he put a long pause between "You just sucked" and "...the life out of the room." I thought for a second he was going to get all bratty teenager on us. That would have been kind of entertaining. :) )
• Siobhan Magnus: Simon, I don't quite know where your comments that Siobhan was "weird" and "boring" came from, but I suspect it's probably from the same place that your "indulgent" critiques when you're not familiar with a song reside. What do you want Siobhan to sing? A big-band swing version of "Happy Birthday"? An electronic take on "Happy Working Song" from "Enchanted"? A sunny love song to Randy? Honestly, there was very, very little wrong with Siobhan's hypnotic take on "House of the Rising Sun," and whatever was wrong with it, it was certainly not that it was "weird" and "boring." The a cappella fashion in which Ms. Magnus started off the proceedings was pure brilliance, as it gave us a chance to hear her haunting, beautiful, unfettered vocal instrument. When the instruments came in, things got even better, as Siobhan continued caressing and nuancing the song, giving a highly compelling vocal performance that many of the other contestants (even Crystal) would be hard-pressed to match. On top of all that, it showed that we have here an incredibly versatile contestant (Chris Isaak to Aretha to The Animals?!?!?) that, as Kara astutely (and surprisingly) pointed out, does indeed need to demonstrate just what kind of artist she'll be, but for now, is doing a heck of a job giving whirlwind, unique performances. I'd rather have all that than some of the crap that a few of the other contestants are bringing. Wouldn't you?
• Lacey Brown: Just when I was about ready to give up on the once-excellent Lacey, here she goes and makes my life more complicated by giving a pretty dang good performance, and subsequently making the possibility that she may be headed for elimination anyhow infinitely more painful. Sure, her performance of "The Story" (a song which Randy likes? Really?? If so, he just scored major Brandon points) last night wasn't perfect--she wasn't entirely on top of the beautiful Brandi Carlile-crafted melody, and I wish she would have explored the song's rockier side a little more (though it was probably wise to cut all the roaring guitars in the original's chorus out, seeing as Lacey's had issues with even the slightest of backing-band accompaniment these past two weeks) rather than keeping it firmly acoustic, but all that aside, it was beautiful and an excellent return to form for Lacey. It's probably good that she pulled out a good vocal this week rather than the last two (see Katelyn...viva la Katelyn!!...below for a sad case of the opposite), but after being a viewer punching bag for the past two weeks, chances are she's definitely not out of hot water yet.
• Katelyn Epperly: What kind of cruelty is this, life? (Sorry for that drama-king moment. :) ) The very week after I finally warm up to Katelyn and she gives a killer performance, she stumbles with a lackluster performance and immediately puts herself in serious danger of elimination? This calls for one big "WTF???". I'm a huge fan of both Carole King and "I Feel The Earth Move" (I was raised on "Tapestry", brothas), but I do agree that Katelyn didn't quite bring anything to it, with an uninspired vocal and lack of much discernible stage presence. But she does NOT deserve to get voted off on Thursday, not after "Oh Darlin'" and last week's severely beautiful take on "The Scientist." That the judges went through their (totally jank) critiques without even mentioning how stellar Katelyn has been in the two weeks before, as if to suggest she's been this middling throughout the whole competition, is near criminal. Save Katelyn, America, or I might stage a full-on revolt. (I'm not entirely kidding.)
• Didi Benami: I'm not of the persuasion that thinks that Didi should stick herself in a guitar-slinging 'coffeehouse' corner and stay there (haughty pigeonholing is strictly verboten in my book), but I have to admit tonight's return to her cozy acoustic roots was very welcomed on my part. Her finger-picking, delicious cover of "Rhiannon" was truly excellent, driven by smooth, almost perfectly on-pitch vocals and a subtle reimagining of the tune. Like her very good take on "The Way I Am" two weeks ago, Didi fiddled with the melody in the best way, and adding onto the skills displayed in that performance, she really brought some understated life into the song. I audibly expressed my joy at multiple points while she was singing. Kara and Simon (whoa, this doesn't happen often) were very much correct that this was definitely a "moment" for Didi. That it didn't wow Randy (who had some highly ridiculous and laughably inarticulate critiques tonight, "dawg") wasn't much of a surprise. Who cares about him? Now hopefully the "Idol" voting public was sufficiently convinced that Didi deserves a slot in the Top 12, because anything short of that would be a traveshamockery.
• Paige Miles: Now, I feel sorry for Paige. Her only screen time prior to the semifinals was an unfortunate stint in one of the obnoxiously catty groups that performed "Bad Romance" during Hollywood Week. Hence, definitely an obstacle to overcome. But after tonight's truly painful butchering of "Smile," coupled with two decidedly mediocre performances the past two weeks, I definitely don't feel sorry enough for Paige to want her to stay in any way, shape, or form. No matter how much Simon has proclaimed he loves her voice, or that she's better than she knows she is, she has simply not delivered anything of substance during the semifinals. Tonight was no different. The arrangement was dismal...it's not the fact that the shift into bossa nova (which Randy correctly noticed...I think either the Apocalypse is coming any day now, or Mr. Jackson actually does possess some actual music knowledge) was involved, since bossa nova is quite amazing...it's the fact that Paige utilized it in a setting where she's accompanied by a budget-level backing band led by Rickey Minor. (If Claus Ogerman, Vince Mendoza or Sergio Mendes were there with a lush orchestra or jazz ensemble, then it would be vastly different.) It really just sounded cheap. Ellen was also incorrect that it needed to be peppy and inspiring, as the song isn't entirely so, nor is it ineffective when it isn't done in a cheerful way (two examples are top-notch, depressing versions by jazz vocalists Tierney Sutton and Holly Cole). What the judges did (more or less) hit right on the nose was the fact that Paige's vocal was simply not good. It was flat, wandering, and darn near excruciating. Paige, as much as I'd love to keep giving you more chances, to give you more opportunity to find your "Idol" foothold, you simply haven't cut it. If America is merciful and Vote For the Worst (hopefully) fails, you'll be saying goodbye on Thursday night, and quite frankly, the Top 12 will be better for it.
• Crystal Bowersox: (My goodness, I'm writing a lot...) Crystal gave another winning, solid performance this week. But I highly take issue with Simon's major pimping. Crystal is not far and above all the other female contestants (what are Siobhan, Lilly, and Katelyn? a duck? Yes, I did just pull out a "Princess Diaries" quote :) ), she is not perfect, and the competition is not, Mr. Cowell, "hers to lose." She's simply a very good performer, with a powerful, distinctive instrument, who has not slipped up yet. To do all but crown her the Season 9 winner already is both idiotic, and demonstrates how far out of touch Simon can be (anyone remember the Adam/Danny/Lil fiasco last season? I still do, and it still bothers me) when he fixates on one promising contestant and fails to let go. Crystal brought a committed, soulful spin to "Give Me One Reason," and really sold the performance. But it was not quite the best performance of the night, and it was not a sign that Crystal should just be declared the winner already. There are still weeks and weeks of competition to go, and although I love Crystal and think she's excellent, Simon's constant cheerleading for her is definitely rubbing me the wrong way, and there's more to Season 9 than Crystal's brilliance.
• Lilly Scott: Here's my weekly 'concise moment.' Lilly did well. Her pitch wasn't entirely there, much like last week. And it was (even for me) a strange way to close the show. But I think this Patsy Cline number ("I Fall To Pieces") was a good venue for her entrancingly unique tone, and I think she had better make the Top 12. I'll take weird but a little pitchy (oh, dear heavens, I used a Randy adjective) over boring and solid any day, thank you very much.

And really quick, my predictions of how Thursday may go, and my picks for who should leave "Idol" and never come back:

• Paige and Katie should be the ones heading home. Both of them have failed to bring anything amazing to the table three weeks running, and although I don't hate either of them or their vocals, with a female field this deep and interesting, I wouldn't be too sad at all to see them packing.
• As for predictions, I fear for Katelyn and Lacey. Lacey's musical epiphany might have come too late in the game (she's already built up a sizable level of hatred among viewers, and judging from comments about last night spread out over the blogs and other recaps, not everyone was in love with her improved vocals last night), and the notoriously short memory of "Idol" voters may spell doom for Katelyn, despite her one-two punch of solid performances the past two weeks. I'm not ready to admit that Katelyn will be going home on Thursday, but if she was to (please, no! that would be horrible!), it sadly wouldn't surprise me in the least. My prediction (with wishful thinking leaving Katelyn out) is Paige and Lacey, since Katie may be too much of a lingering favorite to miss out on the Top 12.

And that's how the Top 8 Girls' cookie crumbles. In half an hour, once again I will be forced (I mean, I will have the opportunity) to watch the Top 8 Guys live. Look for a recap hopefully tomorrow, but possibly Thursday. For now, adios.

Top 10 Girls Night: A Change Is Gonna Come

After the travesty that the guys' performance night was once again this week, it was a huge relief to see quite a few of the girls knock it out of the park on Wednesday. Was it all amazing? Not exactly, and there was some disappointment. But it was miles better than Tuesday night and the guys, and it shows that Simon is probably right when he predicts that a female will win this year (finally!). And with that, we dive into the recap of the Top 10 Girls...plus results.

• Crystal Bowersox: After an intense brush with sickness-related elimination this week (Crystal was taken to the hospital for diabetes-related complications, and had she not been able to perform, she would have likely been axed from the competition), Crystal came out and gave a solid, gospel-infused performance of "Long As I Can See the Light." I have to admit I'm not familiar with the original, but I think Crystal sold it pretty dang well. I wouldn't rave about it like the judges (somewhat inexplicably) were, as it didn't always pop as much as it should have, but it was very good, and one of the best of the night. MamaSox is definitely a well-deserved front-runner.
• Haeley Vaughn: Haeley was sweet, but her personality always trumped her vocal talents (or lack thereof), and her supposedly radiant smile was never enough to distract me from her wonky notes and decidedly off performances. Thus, I'm not too torn up that she has left the "Idol" stage. Her take on "The Climb" was nearly worse than a live performance than the original 'artist' herself, Miley Cyrus, and that's definitely not good, seeing as Ms. Cyrus has severe trouble singing a note anywhere close to the correct pitch. It lacked the bare-bones confidence Haeley brought to her awkward and messy, yet assured cover of "I Want To Hold Your Hand" last week, and it was painful to listen to. So sorry, Haeley, it was time for you to go. Good luck in the future,  though, and once you have a few more years under your belt, you might be able to go places.
• Lacey Brown: Lacey, why do you disappoint me so? Last week's performance of "Landslide" was sadly flat and nerve-wracked. This week Lacey displayed more confidence, but little more control over pitch, while singing "Kiss Me." She was wise to take up Ellen's suggestion from last Tuesday, but very unwise to keep the song largely as it originally was done. It was dry and very karaoke. (Oh dear, I used a Simon adjective...that is rather troubling...) Where's the Lacey that p'wned "Over the Rainbow" and "What A Wonderful World" with a deliciously twangy, self-assured, smooth tone? We need to find her fast, because right now, I'm afraid that Lacey's time is up, and she's not on my shortlist to make the Top 12, and that's a crying shame.
• Katie Stevens: Here comes another past favorite that I'm losing faith in for the second week in a row. I love "Put Your Records On." I love Katie's voice. I love kittens. (Wait, that had nothing to do with her performance, did it? :) ) But I didn't love her take on it. It wasn't quite there...it was unimaginative, and Katie just seemed to be singing by the numbers, rather than injecting her own personality and uniqueness into it. I highly disagree with Ellen (oh no, that's a sad day!) that Katie needs to pick something even younger...I've liked the songs she's picked the past two weeks, it's just the disjointed performances I've had an issue with. Katie needs to find her niche, and she's not going to by singing the work of teenagers (Justin Bieber, for example? Lord no!). I hope she's able to get her sea legs, but as it stands right now, I wouldn't be horribly sad if she didn't make the Top 12. (Again, a shame.)
• Didi Benami: Thank the stars above that Didi stayed, but I fear she's in danger now after her kind of out-of-her-element performance of "Lean On Me." I thought it wasn't a complete mess--her vocals were still smooth and unique, and the pitch wasn't all off--but it definitely wasn't a very good song choice for Didi, at least not with the cookie-cutter arrangement Rickey Minor and Co. brought to the table. But really, commenters? One of the two worst voices in the competition? Were you LISTENING prior to this week? Her smooth voice has been on-point and beautiful up until now. So let this excellent lady make the Top 12, or I will sue. As for you, Didi, please pick a song that plays to your strengths next week. It doesn't have to be typical, but it should be your own. Over and out.
• Michelle Delamor: Poor Michelle only got 2 weeks and a December "Idol" promo of total screentime this season, but her slightly off Creed number this week was, in my view, fair grounds for elimination. Sure, a week more might have been nice, but she really wasn't displaying potential to do well in the Top 12, or even win it all. She just sang well, and on Wednesday, "With Arms Wide Open" wasn't even that the entire time. It was too big a song, and Michelle didn't change it up enough to suit her style. So Michelle, we hardly knew ye, and I wish you the best, but this wasn't a terrible decision on the voters' part. C'est la vie.
• Lilly Scott: I love Lilly quite a lot still, but I have to admit I wasn't completely sold on her committed acoustic-influenced "A Change Is Gonna Come." While I chafe at those who stupidly compare it to Adam Lambert from last season (there was a little guy named SAM FREAKIN' COOKE who it did much better, and FIRST, folks!), even with that pointless comparison aside, Lilly's vocals weren't entirely perfect. It was a little off at parts. Still, Lilly went all out on her performance, she rearranged it just enough to make it her own without gutting its heritage, and it really showed. Thank goodness the judges gave her some love, and I think Lilly has nowhere to go but up. Viva la Lilly!
• Katelyn Epperly: Katelyn gave a fiery performance of "Oh, Darling" by the Beatles last week that showed she ain't no cannon fodder (forgive my momentary lapse into Southern dialect, after all, it's no longer National Grammar Day :) ), and this week, she earned her way right into my "Idol" voting heart. Who cares if Ellen and Randy whined that her take on "The Scientist" was slow? It was exquisitely so, and her vocals were beautiful. It was the kind of emotional, heartbreakingly excellent performance that you don't expect "Idol" to deliver. But Katelyn did, turning the already great Coldplay tune into an even more heart-rending number. The judges should have given more love, but no matter. Katelyn is most certainly on a roll, and she's become just like Alex Lambert--an unexpected talent that I never thought I could love so much.
• Paige Miles: I'm not quite as frustrated with the judges' lovefest with Paige as I am (see last recap) with Lee DeWyze, but I'm still confused. Exactly why are you praising her so much? She has a good voice, sure. But it's being laid waste to by truly horrendous song choices. Last week's "All Right Now" was a mess, and this week with "Walk Away," Paige fared little better. Yet the judges are eating it up. Why??? Simon hit it right on the nose by pointing out Paige has picked dismal songs the past two weeks. Unfortunately for Paige, it's too late in my book for her to catch up...there are only 6 female spots in the Top 12, and I don't have her pegged for any of them. Her personality kind of rubs me the wrong way, and she isn't bringing her all. It's time for her to say goodbye, next week.
• Siobhan Magnus: And finally, Siobhan. She was good. DANG good. It takes major gumption (as a few of the judges pointed out) to take on an Aretha Franklin number, and it takes even more than that--namely, a heck of a lot of talent and performing style and skill--to sell said Aretha song. And when you chose one of Ms. Franklin's most iconic and challenging tunes, "Think," it's a recipe for disaster. But not when you have the fearless, ferociously good pipes of Siobhan. I loved her performance, and this was with me still having Noteworthy's sassy version on "The Sing-Off" still firmly in my memory, along with Aretha's original. Doing the whirlwind 2 minutes Siobhan was on the stage, I completely forgot about those versions. All I saw was a masterful voice doing its work. That note at the end...freaking wow. Siobhan did more than sell "Think." She OWNED it. And with that, she's one of my definite favorites. On to the Top 12, Ms. Magnus! :)

And that's the women for this week. Hallelujah for talent! I'll be back soon on this blog with a recap of how I see the Top 16, and who I want to/think will make it past the last semifinal eliminations this week. For now, over and out. :)

Top 10 Guys Night: What's Going On

Well, once again I find myself recapping (for no one?) after the results show aired. It's probably good I waited on finishing this particular recap (I had the first few paragraphs drafted way back on Tuesday night), as this area was previously filled with an intense, rambling, angry rant about how far "Idol" has fallen. You'll still see some of my wrath manifested (Lee DeWyze...grrrr....), but the fact that I've forgotten some of the judges' wonky comments, that two guys have been eliminated, and that since the rather dreadful spate of male performances I'm about to discuss, the girls took the stage on Wednesday and actually made me remotely happy, should temper my frustration and anger just a bit. And oh, let's not forget the fact that oh, this is a REALITY SHOW. Anyhoo...let's recap, and once again I'll put the eliminated folks in italics, as well as talk about their ouster.

(Side note: I changed my blog title. Feedback would be nice. Ironically, it's inspired by the title of Jason Mrubbish's last album...he's not my cup of cocoa in the music department, but that title is admittedly pretty fun. :) )

• Michael Lynche: I don't quite know what happened between me and Michael. Hollywood Week, I was raving about the guy and his fun personality + delightful vocals. But in the semifinals so far, the lovable big guy hasn't done much for me. To be sure, his performance of "It's A Man's Man's Man's World" (by James Brown, ambitious...) was vastly better than last week's flat karaoke take on "This Love." That said, it wasn't completely there. Sure, Michael owned the song, but he still sounded flat at points and his excessive vibrato was ultra-distracting, and oddly reminiscent of a Vegas supper club 'singer.' It simply didn't catch on for me. And the judges going crazy over it, like it was the best thing since sliced bread (when in reality it was closer to the sliced bread than the best thing since it), was the icing on the disheartening "I'm not sure I like Michael anymore" cake.
• John Park: This may seem strange, but John's elimination is the one I'm most disappointed about. Sure, his performance of "Gravity" (by John Mayer, if only he did the Sara Bareilles song) on Tuesday was a bit bland and by the numbers (and "God Bless The Child" last week was a frustratingly sad mess), and to be truthful, if given the choice between John and Todrick (who were both brought to center stage during the results show), I would have picked the latter, as Todrick at least is abundantly creative. Still, he had a good voice, he was a FREAKING BARITONE (baritones gotta stick together! there aren't THAT many of us), and I don't know, I just thought he was cool. There were some moments of glory on Tuesday night, and John also showed off some interesting cultural connections--English is his second language, for example--as well as the fact that he's a member of Purple Haze, a college a cappella group. Looks like I'll be checking out their music so I can see more of John's beautiful bottom end. (For the last time...his VOICE! :) )
• Casey James: Kara must be on something, because in that world is "I Don't Wanna Be" a quality song? Gavin DeGraw's original is grating and repetitive, with a pointless, rambling melody. Thus, it wasn't entirely the best choice for Casey at all. His rock-crooner-esque voice got lost in the Hendrix-wannabe arrangement, and while his guitar playing was pretty impressive, his stage presence once again was not. It was an unqualified mess, to be frank. It looks like after last week's fairly good performance, Casey is once again back on my "ehh" list.
• Alex Lambert: If you've seen any of my previous words about the Lambert Who Doesn't Shout And Scream, this next sentence will rather surprise you. I loved his performance--and it was the only Top 10 Guys song I downloaded. Really. Yes, this was as much a surprise to me as it may be to you (all you imaginary blog readers?), but after last week's James Morrison copycat performance of doom, Alex gathered his nerves, refrained from upchucking, and delivered a nicely changed-up, genuinely soulful version of John Legend's "Everybody Knows." Alex's deliciously quirky tone, fiercely trampled last week, really shone through on Tuesday. There were a few tiny moments of strange pronunciation and slightly flat pitch, but overall, the performance was a revelation, and I really dug it. Bring the goods next week, Alex (and lose the dang mullet already!), and you may have yourself a new voter.
• Todrick Hall: Whatever you may think about Todrick, you have to admit he's got style. His reinventions the past two weeks have been interesting, to say the least. Completely on point? Um, not really. But Todrick's mad passion for creating wild rearrangements of his songs is a much better trait to have than being boring and by-the-numbers, as the aforementioned guy eliminated instead of him, John Park, learned the hard way. About his performance of "What's Love Got To Do With It"--it's rather ambitious to take on an iconic Tina Turner tune (alliteration!), since Ms. Turner stylized her hits so much. The vocals were a bit off, and the arrangement once again didn't quite work. Still, what are the freaking judges playing at?? They tell EVERY OTHER DANG PERSON to be artistic and change up their songs. Yet when Todrick does exactly what they ask, they rip him apart for doing so. Crazy people behind the table...how about you take him to task for the quality (or lack thereof) his performance, rather than focusing your criticism on the very thing you're requiring of all the other semifinalists? What you're doing at the moment is called a double standard. STOP IT. And Simon, Todrick did not change the song too much...in my opinion, he didn't change it enough (and not in a very good way), doing little more than shifting the song into minor and slowing it down a bit. Todrick, you ignore those stupid judges and keep making your songs ultra-interesting. But next week, try to make it interesting AND good. I know you can.
• Jermaine Sellers: Finally, an eliminated contestant I'm truly happy about! (This is really the first time. Long live Tyler, Joe, and John! We hardly knew ye.) Sorry. But really, Jermaine needed to go. Badly. Between his strange love for onesies ("I rocks the onesie, y'all"), his awkward and slightly sacrilegious "I know God" statements, and his truly awful caterwauling, Mr. Sellers truly rubbed me the wrong way. His 'performance' of "What's Going On" on Tuesday was an overblown mess. The arrangement, recycled almost in full from Kris Allen's studio version of the tune from last season (he really owns it, by the way), wasn't completely ghastly, but the excessive runs, wonky pitch, and general suckitude that Jermaine tacked onto it certainly were. It wasn't quite as painful as "Get Here" from last week, but at the same time it was. It stained the Marvin Gaye name. It ruined the song. And, thank the stars above, it sent Jermaine Sellers home. (That's quite easily the best part of the whole thing.)
• Andrew Garcia: I still firmly stand by my love of "Sugar We're Going Down" from last week (the reharmonization in the chorus background vocals still gets me, in the best way), and I still hate the judges for being so stupid ("It wasn't as good as 'Straight Up'! Thus, it must suck!"), and I still think Andrew is the bees' knees...but even I have to admit, his take on "You Give Me Something" this week was painfully safe. He sounded a bit flat at parts, something that has never been a problem, and it did little more than color in the lines of James Morrison's solid original. There were so many good things Andrew could have done with the melody, the arrangement, or the song in general, but he didn't, and that's a crying shame. Losing the guitar might have seemed like a good choice--after all, one doesn't want to seem like a one-trick pony--but in the end, it didn't quite work. Andrew, you're better than this! His song last week was amazing, and y'all better realize that, but this week was certainly a depressing step backwards.
• Aaron Kelly: Last week's solid vocal notwithstanding, I'm still not quite on board the Aaron Kelly train, and his decidedly off version of "My Girl" this week certainly did the teen no favors. My roommates were somewhat in the room during his performance on Tuesday, and all two or three of us were cringing--literally--at the wonky vibrato, countless pitch issues, the strange and awkward country-soul arrangement, and just the general gruesomeness of it all. It was not the right song at all. (AT ALL.) Sure, Aaron displayed a heck of a lot more confidence, but confidence isn't really a redeeming factor when the performance plain sucks as...pirin. (Nice save? :) ) What's more, the judges went largely gaga (and not the "Speechless"-esque Lady variety) over it. Do they just dream of ways to make sensible, music-loving viewers angry? Because they're doing a heck of a good job at it.
• Tim Urban: And he stayed WHY?!?!? Stop looking at his freaking abs, people (if you weren't aware, shirtless pics of Mr. Moptoppington have made it onto the web...well, more like endless copies of the same dang shirtless pic), and vote this lamentably lame singer off, darn it! His performance of "Come On Get Higher" (by Matt Nathanson, who I have never bloomin' heard of) was better than last week, sure, but I'm pretty sure even a performance by Simon himself could have accomplished that feat. Tim's pitch was still largely off, and his tone was decidedly bland and nearly nonexistent. Ellen slipped in one too many "you're adorable" statements into her critique, but she was pretty spot-on when she said Tim might be better suited to acting. Simon was harsh, but even more on point, when he said a Tim Urban acting career should not involve singing. Because really, when he does, it's like something akin to Hel...sinki.
• Lee DeWyze: Here comes the ranting and potential sentences in all caps. Like this: WHY do people like Lee? His voice is so grating I almost want to scream. He picked one of the crappiest, most annoying songs in the world ("Lips of An Angel"? Freakin' really?). And he is NOT, I repeat NOT, the best male vocalist in the competition right now, not by a long shot. He's a poor man's Daughtry, and any comparisons to David Cook (whose voice I'm not completely in love with, but at least he stayed on key...right?) are bordering on criminal. Lee went off pitch repeatedly yet again tonight. He did little to reinvent the song. He looks like he's bored. And the idiotic judges FREAKING SAID IT WAS GOOD. Just like that, it sadly seems, I've found this season's Adam Lambert--the contestant that everyone seems to love but I just can't stand.

Well, there you have it, the Top 10 (well, now Top 8) guys. For the love of all things Kris Allen, please let them be better next week. Sure, there are a lot of good women to (likely) beat them later on down the road, but if I'm spending one or two hours of my Tuesday or Wednesday watching these people sing, I want it to be remotely good, not of the horribly painful variety that makes me contemplate ditching "Idol." (I seriously had those thoughts on Tuesday.) Recap of the girls, who were much better and much less annoying than the guys, to come posthaste.

Top 12 Guys Night (+ Results): Sugar, We're Going Down

OK, so I'm exceedingly late on this. No one reads this blog as of yet, however, so I think I am excused. Anyways, since the results show has already gone forth and eliminated, I will discuss the performances of the Top 12 guys (oh my, this was like an even-worse sequel to a disappointing girls' night), and when it comes to those axed by America's cruel phone-dialing/texting fingers, I will elaborate on my feelings about their departure. (At the end, I'll talk about the two girls' eliminations. Ashley and Janell, we hardly knew ye. In the case of the former, thank goodness...and as for the latter, methinks you suffered a total eclipse of the Heart. :) )

• Todrick Hall: My words to my roommate (who was catching a little bit of the show while eating at the table, reluctantly, of course) after the performance said it all..."That was...interesting..." Todrick is to be commended for his wildly creative song-rearrangement skills, and his vocals were pretty well on-key, but besides that...wow. (And not a good wow either.) I'm probably the world's biggest proponent of radical, crazy reworkings of songs (see Andrew Garcia below, for example), but even I thought Todrick twisted the melody and structure of "Since U Been Gone" a wee bit too much. The spoken-word intro at the beginning was pretty dang awkward, and the whole performance just didn't fit so well together. That said...Todrick showed he was brave, and that his deliciously unique take on "I'm Yours" during Hollywood Week was no fluke. Still...he needs a heck of a lot more consistency if he's going to keep changing up numbers like this. Otherwise the judges (who were asking the girls THE SHOW BEFORE to give more creative takes on songs) may not be very happy, again.
• Aaron Kelly: I'm still not a fan of the young gun (16, people, 16...) that I think the judges let through way too early, but I have to admit his performance of "Here Comes Goodbye" was a pretty good choice. The bombastic country-pop stylings of Rascal Flatts (a group who I have eternally mixed feelings about) were a perfect fit for Aaron's somewhat soaring pipes. Did the performance wow me? Not really. I found it dull and he pushed a little too much at many parts, and his tone wasn't the greatest. But was it a performance that showed he deserves to be in the semifinals? Yeah, pretty much.
• Jermaine Sellers: Now, I love "Get Here" (I was introduced to it junior year when we almost sang it in our chamber/jazz group), and think it's a beautiful song (it's NOT karaoke, people!). That said...may it rest in peace, because Jermaine sure as heck murdered it repeatedly on Wednesday night. The performance started off pleasantly enough, and Jermaine treated it with (his own slightly overblown version of) respect. Then he got into the chorus, and there went the melody, the song, and any artistic credibility Jermaine might have had left. It was truly just painful. The segment after the judges critiqued him...where he momentarily had no idea who "Idol" music director Michael Orland was, was embarrassing and should have sealed Jermaine's fate, but unfortunately, America is not as merciful as they should be.
• Tim Urban: Another clunker, another missed opportunity for America to send home the right person. While his ridiculous hairstyle (did a Dust Bunny from "The Big Comfy Couch," wearing black because no one watches that show anymore, take nest on his head? yes, I did just combine an obscure 90s PBS reference and a withering yet lame insult in the same sentence :) ) would be worthy grounds for elimination on its own, his uneven, lackluster take on "Apologize" was even worse. His falsetto was weak and the shifts to it were awkward, and his tone was shallow and nervous-sounding. Simon's harsh words afterwards that they made the right decision in the first place by leaving him out of the Top 24 was sharp, but somewhat true. Please, America, put both us and Tim out of our misery. We need no more of  this. (Side note: What kind of lemon keeps the fact he made it into the semifinals from his FAMILY? Kind of fun, but mostly just stupid.)
• Joe Munoz (in italics because America...italicized him? :D): Poor Joe. Only 10 seconds of Hollywood Week screentime to his name before he was forced to take the stage for an all-or-nothing performance on Wednesday night, and then what do "Idol" voters do? Give him the ax. His performance of "You and I Both" was pretty good, I thought (so good, I didn't recognize it as a child of the annoying Jason Mraz...I mean, Mrubbish...until the admittedly kind of flat chorus), and Joe displayed a smile that could light up a city, along with an ease for performing that quite a few "Idol" hopefuls this season could take note of. It wasn't completely memorable, as Simon duly pointed out, but it was very solid, and definitely not deserving of the early exit Joe got on Thursday.
• Tyler Grady: His performance of "American Woman" was a bit unwieldy, for sure...the vocals weren't completely on point, and the whole thing was a bit off...but the judges' critiques afterwards just didn't compute. You spend all of Hollywood Week (and most of his audition) raving about Tyler's 70s vibe, not to mention the intro package being all psychedelic, and then you tear him down for that very atmosphere that you praised? I would call that 1-800-Messed Up, especially Kara's bordering-on-vicious comment that he's obsessed with the 70s and must have Jim Morrison posters plastered over his walls. Um, what the crap? Unfortunately, I wasn't wowed with his performance and didn't vote for Tyler (expecting him to sail through into next week anyway). Now the contestant who I gushed about in my Top 24 recap, the one I said "just may be the first 'Idol' male contestant that has my vote from my start," is gone. Ugh.
• Lee DeWyze: It seems that "Idol" always has to have at least one contestant that everybody loves, but I just don't get. Last year it was Adam Lambert and the Screamer Who Must Not Be Named (if you need a reminder as to who that is, let me evoke these painful lines: "Dreeaaam on! Dreeeeam on! [Painful shrieking, sound of cats dying] :) ), and this year, methinks it's Lee DeWyze. His tone is reminiscent of David Cook's and Daughtry's, for sure...after it's been run through a sausage grinder. It's just plain grating. ("Get ret-ty!" OK, I'll stop the horrid Screamer references...) He is to be commended, certainly, for starting off his take on "Chasing Cars" in a very raw fashion...just him playing guitar and singing, and virtually nothing else...but he was pushing way too hard at so many points, and did very little with the song. Sadly, he's one of the judges' ordained front-runners now, but in my minority opinion, I don't mind if he gets an early ouster. (The earlier, the better.) (Side note: Randy, since when does Kings of Leon qualify as a harder-rocking group? Harder than Snow Patrol, sure, but you played with Journey. You should know your rock music a wee bit better than this.)
• John Park: John gets major points for being both a smooth baritone (baritones unite! :) ) and picking a jazz standard ("God Bless The Child," baby!), but unfortunately, both of these excellent elements failed to combine into a good performance. His vibrato was rather all over the place, his tone wasn't completely steady, and he did little to interpret the song. Sure, he didn't have to be a Billie Holiday, but he could have put some semblance of emotion into it (after all, he explained afterwards that the song had special meaning to him). Like Shania said, John has a nice bottom end (his VOICE, people, his VOICE!), and if he gets a heck of a lot more consistent, he can work wonders with that low tone, a low tone that many of the other male contestants certainly do not possess. Otherwise, pretty much the only calls he's going to get after "Idol" will be from Carnival, the Disney Cruise Line, and Mikalah Gordon's cousin's uncle's wedding.
• Michael Lynche: Time for another one of my concise moments. And...go! OK, I like Michael. But his take on "This Love" was unimaginative, flat, and just not consistent enough. And I severely doubt he was playing that guitar that much. It had energy, but it didn't quite cut it. (Kara saying it wasn't "outrageously great" was shockingly right on the nose. Kara getting a critique right? We should treasure this moment.) Michael shall stay in for quite a while, but I hope he steps it up in the process. (If he had done the whole song a la the last line...simmered down dramatically...I had a feeling he would have knocked it out of the park. Tis a shame.)
• Alex Lambert: Well, that last one wasn't very concise, was it? Let's try this again. Alex's nerves certainly got to him here (I doubt a lost puppy in a Disney movie could have had a more scared face than he did during his song), and his performance was little more than a very pale imitation of James Morrison, the very artist Alex was covering. It was boring, plodding, and uncreative. And he stayed instead of Tyler how, exactly?
• Casey James: As much as this still-continuing "ooh! Kara LIKES Casey!" thing is starting to get old, and this is a SINGING competition, I have to admit it made for some pretty unexpectedly funny lines behind the judges' table ("We were both cursed with good looks," Simon drolly quipped). Still, it was distracting, and it kind of bugged a bit. Since they largely failed to talk about Casey's performance (except for a few small breaks from the jokery), I shall...his take on "Heaven" (by Bryan Adams, ehhh)  was good and solid, and I didn't hate Casey's tone half as much as I thought I would, but it wasn't completely there. I recommend Casey goes the David Cook route and changes things up a bit. Because aside from "Idol" to stop playing up the Kara-Casey thing, that just may be exactly what he needs.
• Andrew Garcia: Where was the freaking love???? While the judges (and most of America and my fellow recappers) found Andrew's inventive midtempo cover of "Sugar, We're Going Down" to be disappointing, I personally loved it. Now, that might be because I hate the original (thank the Lord that Fall Out Boy is no more!), and also because I'm a sucker for interesting harmonies and I audibly squealed (no joke) when I heard the chord progression in the chorus, but I thought this was really good. His vocals were smooth and soaring, and it just sounded like a vastly better song. Really, Simon, it was a disappointment? Really, Kara, the risk he took didn't work? Really, with Seth and Amy? (SNL reference...score!) Anyhoo, I hope this country wakes up and notices how amazing this cover was, and until then, I'll keep listening to it frequently on my iPod. Take that, suckers!

The Other People Eliminated: I'm not too sad at all that Ashley's gone...her flat, lifeless performance of a Leona Lewis number was painful to sit through...but I'm somewhat annoyed that America sent Janell a pink slip. True, she was way too overstretched on Heart's "What About Love," and her final Hollywood solo of "Love Story" was subpar, but she really had potential, and the classy way she took her elimination on Thursday (interviews and all) showed that she wasn't a brat. This is one of the few cases where I'm rooting for  an early semifinal castoff to get some semblance of a career after "Idol." Janell certainly deserves it.

And that's a wrap. My schedule this week should be more conducive to "Idol" watching, and for the love of all things Allison (I STILL want to find a video of her results show performance, dang it!), please let the Top 20 performances be much better than the crap we got this week. It was BAD, folks...really bad. And with that, I bid adieu.

Top 12 Girls Night: Wicked Game

OK, I have 21 minutes until the Top 12 Guys show (which I will actually be able to watch tonight, I had to catch last night's performance episode via the very, very helpful Rickey.org), which means I have 21 minutes to recap 12 ladies' performances. Can I get a "Aaah!!!"? Overall comments: This was kind of painful to watch. While there were some bright moments (you'll see me type...hopefully briefly...about them below), it was a roundly disappointing night of "performances" (so bad, I put performances in needless quotes :) ). So dive in with me, quickly, like a bunny, and relive the horror and joy that is...the American Idol semifinals.

• Paige Miles: To quote "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" (oh, yes, I am going there): "Je suis 'ow.'" Poor Paige got saddled with the first slot (AKA death) and I haven't seen her sing a note before now, but she did herself no favors with this exceedingly messy and awkward performance of "All Right Now." It was BAD. Yet the judges said it was good...and this is why they often drive me crazy. Paige is in major danger--unless America has suddenly been brainwashed by Simon Cowell. While I won't cry if she leaves...methinks she should be given another chance, a chance she hopefully won't waste as badly as she did with this performance.
• Ashley Rodriguez: I've heard Leona Lewis...and you, Ashley, are no Leona Lewis. Ms. Rodriguez attempted to tackle another heavyweight ballad (last time it was Jordin Sparks' "Battlefield," this time it was the aforementioned Lewis' "Happy"). I only like the song because of Leona's powerhouse voice, and with Ashley's not-half-as-strong pipes phoning in a weak showing, it really fell flat (especially when HALF HER FREAKING NOTES were thus). Sorry Ashley, but I really don't care if America (deservedly) votes your unimaginative self off.
• Janell Wheeler: Another bad song choice, another promising contestant with a horrendous performance. "What About Love" by Heart...really, Janell? What about changing it up a bit, so your more acoustic-suited voice wouldn't get swallowed up? What about staying on key, so you wouldn't sound like a dying cat (or Taylor Swift)? It just didn't work at all...it was certainly more on par with her dismal performance of "Love Story" during Hollywood Week than her alluring take on "American Boy" a few episodes earlier.
• Lilly Scott: Crap, 9 more minutes, and 9 more contestants (and if you've read a shred of my recaps, you know I don't write concisely enough to take a minute per contestant :) ): Anyways, Lilly's quirky acoustic spin on "Fixing A Hole" by the Beatles (why does it remind me of "A Day In The Life" for some reason? Probably the holes...) was enticing, but not entirely consistent. I liked it (and now have it for my own, thanks to Rickey.org), but it was also somewhat awkward. Lilly might need to expand her musical horizons a little more to gain the favor of a wider swath of Idol voters, or she could end up like Megan Joy last season...talented and spicy, but capable of imploding in a live setting.
• Katelyn Epperly: Is it time for brevity? Sure. Her vocals were excellent, but her look and personality were not. It was good, and she demonstrated a heck of a lot of control over her instrument, but it just didn't blow me away.
• Haeley Vaughn: Country + wonky vocals + a Beatles number? No, you didn't stumble back into Season 7 and Kristy Lee Cook's horrific murder of "Eight Days a Week"...that would be Haeley Vaughn's precociously awful butchering of "I Want To Hold Your Hand." Points for totally turning the song on its ear. Points promptly taken away for being on key about 5% of the time.
• Lacey Brown: I love Lacey, and I voted for her quite a few times. That is why I saw her disappointing, flat performance of "Landslide" as not a lackluster effort by a not-so-talented pretender, but as a low point in an otherwise spot-on trajectory so far. Lacey seemed to be pushing when she should have pulled, shaped, and nuanced her voice like she totally can. I fear for her safety in the competition now--she's doomed to be one of the first 2 castoffs on Thursday--but I hope America gives her another week, and she gains some confidence in her personal artistry, so she can show what she's most certainly got.
• Michelle Delamor: (Writing this during the commercials of the Top 12 guys episode. I got close to finishing this in time, though! :) ) Michelle fared much better than Paige in the "I hardly got any screen time before now, so here goes nothin'" department, and she showcased some impressive vocals, but her performance was a wee bit too by-the-numbers to show anything special. Put those large pipes into something constructive and unique, Michelle, and you've got yourself a deal. For now, I think you've earned yourself a ticket to next week, another chance to show Idol voters unfamiliar with you (AKA, pretty much everyone) what you can bring.
• Didi Benami: I love this song ("The Way I Am"! Viva la Ingrid Michaelson!), and I love Didi and her voice. And guess what...I liked this performance. She was a tiny bittle flat at some points, but I thought it was assured, smooth, and beautiful. Kara (Kara??!!) was right (right?!?!?) in pointing out (point...OK, I'll stop :) ) that Didi did play with the melody a little bit, and it worked out well. Where was the love from the other judges, then? Does Simon see it his duty to be a Didi hater? Well, to heck with the judges. America is likely to put her through, with such a nice performance on a night full of pain, misery, and endless woe.
• Siobhan Magnus: Well, someone surprised me tonight. Not only did I learn that Siobhan's an apprentice glass-blower, I learned she can nuance a performance pretty darn well. Her final Hollywood Week song, "Living For The City," was loose and soaring, but this reined-in, mysteriously delicious version of "Wicked Game" (a Chris Isaak tune, who woulda thunk it?) was a breath of fresh air. Siobhan has really caught my eye, something I really didn't expect.
• Crystal Bowersox: Me likey some Crystal. OK, how about I type in actual English? I thought it was very good. And how many contestants have pulled out the guitar AND the harmonica? (Apparently Taylor Hicks did. Well, I didn't watch his season, and haven't really had the urge to look his old "Idol" performances up on YouTube.) Her vocals were confident, strong, and had an interesting (but not EEnteresting...as in interesting but horrible) tone that I really liked. Plus her teeth look better, which should please the brats that were complaining about them. All in all, Crystal is one frontrunner that deserves the hype. (Side note: I didn't think she came off as cocky or "above American Idol" in her awkward conversation with the judges, but she just may need to become acclimated to the show a little bit more.)
• Katie Stevens: I'm a big fan of this talented teenager, as you saw from my slightly stilted praise in the last recap...and I really liked this performance, but she did indeed try too hard. The confidence and maturity she's displayed up to this point turned too far into pretense and not being genuine, and with someone as bright and promising as Katie, that's kind of a shame. I do take issue, though, with people comparing this to Adam Lambert...a) He was covering the Muse version of the song, and b) He slaughtered it, and not in a good way. How about you compare Katie to Nina Simone (who originated the song with a killer version decades ago) or Michael Buble (who revitalized the tune for a new generation)? It's a jazz standard, folks. Don't go trumpeting a caterwauling glam-rock wannabe from last season like he owns the song. Anyways, back to Katie...it was good, but not entirely original or consistent. She needs to step it up a bit and bring all the talented pieces she possesses together.

So there you have it. The Top 12 ladies of American Idol. I would tack on something here like a "who was good, who wasn't" thing, but I'm already running late on this, and I think you got enough. See you (anyone? anyone? cricket, cricket?) soon with a recap of the Top 12 guys. Adios!

The 'Idol' Top 24, Part 2: Straight Up

Let's skip all the opening mishegas and get to the second half of the Top 24. (I will say that the subtitle I just used was originally the subtitle for my aborted Hollywood Week post. Sorry for being slightly lazy in that respect. :) )

• Lilly Scott (20, from Denver, CO): Her deliciously jazzy take on "Lullaby of Birdland" (prior to which she even cited Ella Fitzgerald as the artist :) ) during Day 1 of Hollywood calmed the part of my heart ravaged by scatting extraordinaire Jennifer Hirsh's ouster, and her off-kilter, sunny personality makes me all kinds of happy, but her peformance of a Hall & Oates number was way too pushy, strained, and devoid of life. It was a troubling sign of Lilly potentially thinking she needs to be someone else to be able to succeed...but I hope that wasn't it. She's one of my clear favorites moving into the semifinals, and I hope she brings her striking individuality and vocal consistency to the table, not any preconceptions about what she should or shouldn't be. Viva la Lilly!
• Michael Lynche (26, from Astoria, NY): Thankfully, the disqualification rumors swirling about the Internets ("DEAR INTERNET..." Sorry, but I saw the opportunity for a Conan O'Brien reference and I jumped on it :) ) were apparently false, and this lovable new father (congratulations to his wife! but did Fox REALLY need cameras in the delivery room??) is safe and sound in the Top 24. True, his final performance, a smooth but bland version of "I'm Yours" (still better than Jason Mrubbish's version, though...sorry, but it's true), was...well, bland. But his previous vocal outings were top-notch, and I don't know, I just think he's cool. Got a problem with that?
• Haeley Vaughn (16, from Fort Collins, CO): She's giving me a major Jasmine Murray vibe...in that she's young, charming and pleasant, and has a serviceable voice...but she also doesn't hold up very well in a live setting, became an "Idol" semifinalist a bit too early, and is somewhat doomed with the voters. Her ambition to become a pop-country star is really admirable, and her personality is excellent...but her performances to date (not even her spunky, twangy audition of "Last Name") have most certainly not been.
• Lee DeWyze (23, from Mount Prospect, IL): The little I've heard of his voice has been unimpressive and a bit too scratchy for my taste (his "Ain't No Sunshine," for example, paled in comparison to both Bill Withers' iconic original and Kris Allen's revelatory rendition last season). I'm not foreseeing great things for Lee...but who knows, he could surprise me. Or end up like the trainwreck that Danny Gokey (AKA The Screamer Who Must Be Named) was. For his sake, hopefully it's the first scenario.
• Paige Miles (24, from Houston, TX): All I know about her is that she inexplicably reminds me of Mercedes from "Glee" (a show I don't even watch), and Simon likes her enough to have told her that she's better than she knows. That's a pretty good compliment. Hopefully she has a voice and personality to match, however, because no screen time prior to the semifinals = she pretty much needs something akin to the performance of her life on Tuesday simply to stay in the game.
• Andrew Garcia (24, from Moreno Valley, CA): Normally when I'm offended (a figurative term, I don't truly take offense to much of anything) related to a contestant, it's bad news. Not so for Andrew Garcia...what bugs me is all the stupid recaps/"Idol" articles comparing him to The Screamer Who Must Not Be Named (ha! found a way to repeat that moniker! It's Danny Gokey if you weren't pay attention earlier). He is NOT like that contemptible contestant from last season. He's much better. No obnoxious rasp, no grating personality, no penchant for choosing maudlin inspirational numbers...instead, here in Andrew we have a killer voice, combined with a deliciously experimental artistic sensibility. His triple whammy of excellent performances...a smooth "Sunday Morning, a radically brilliant guitarified cover of a PAULA ABDUL song, and an absolutely soaring "Chasing Pavements" (he chose an Adele song! he chose an Adele song!)...has me sold on his talent and creativity. Keep up the good work, and I think I shall give you my vote.
• Didi Benami (23, from Los Angeles): I was blown away by her beautiful audition of "Hey Jude" (what's with the lack of love, Simon?), and thought her performance of the DioGuardi-penned "Terrified" was the bees' knees...but I oddly thought her final Hollywood Week solo, the Sarah McLachlan weeper (and a song I love) "Angel," was 1-800-A Bit Ungainly. Still, 2 delicious performances out of 3 isn't so bad, and she's definitely one of my favorites. Hopefully her tendency to emotionally let herself loose (it still doesn't bother me, I have to say...after all, her friend died, give her a dang break) won't sour too many "Idol" voters, however.
• Joe Munoz (20, from Huntington Park, CA): A near complete lack of any previous screen time, and his name's unfortunate similarity to last season's cheery, but also bombastic and doomed Jorge Nunez just may combine to dash any hope this young gun has of getting very far in "Idol," much less taking the crown at the end.
• Katie Stevens (17, from Middlebury, CT): Younger than me? A powerhouse voice? A composed and vibrant, yet unique and none-too-perky personality? Nope, folks, I'm not talking about the beloved Allison Iraheta (buy her CD, dang it! NOW!) from last season, I'm referring to the talented Katie Stevens, season 9 Top 24 member. Sure, her musical stylings are miles away from Ms. Iraheta...Allison was a rocker, Katie is a belter...but I see a lot of similarities in their trajectories, and Katie has rarely missed a note (figuratively and literally) in her run so far. Her voice is a whirlwind thing of beauty, and she sings with the confidence of an artist twice her age. Allison got fourth. Could Katie go farther? I sure as heck hope so.
• Alex Lambert (19, from North Richland Hills, TX): I don't really dig Alex (though he's miles less frustrating and obnoxious than last season's Lambert model, the notoriously controversial Adam). He's bland, middling, and he showed a bit of a bratty personality when sparring with Mary Powers (oh, that woman...) during Group Day. Will I shed even a figurative tear if he's a victim of the 2 first cuts from the Top 12 men? Not in the slightest.
• Katelyn Epperly (19, from West Des Moines, IA): I enjoyed her audition of Duffy's "Syrup and Honey" (partly because it's a song by Duffy, who I love)...but otherwise, I've found little to latch onto with Katelyn so far. I'm looking forward to what she brings out on Tuesday, however, and I think she'll do well. At this point, however, I'm somewhat undecided.
• Jermaine Sellers (27, from Joliet, IL): I admittedly had to turn to YouTube to examine Jermaine's previous body of work on "Idol"...for some reason, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him while watching this season (though I realized that I did indeed hear a bit from him in the Group Round, see below). His audition made "If God Was One of Us" a thing of beauty rather than annoyance (I know it has an inspirational message, but did Joan Osborne have to convey it so clumsily?), but his stay in the trainwreck 'Phoenix' during the Group Rounds left him considerably worse for the wear...he was indeed spot-on by pointing out that the weak harmonies would take away from the verse of "Carry On, My Wayward Son," but his shouting at the end of their performance was the very opposite of spot-on, and his offhand comment afterwards that "I know I'm not meant to be in no group" was a bit too diva-esque for my taste. So my opinion on Jermaine is rather mixed, and I'm waiting to see what he's got up his sleeve on Wednesday to make a judgment.

So there you are. My thoughts on Idol's Top 24. Are you excited for the semifinals finally starting on Tuesday and Wednesday? I sure as heck am...after all, I'll take singing over drama any day. And even better, this season I don't have anyone to hate so far...which is always a wonderful thing. Although I'm going to have to juggle to get both episodes watched this week...I'll be there to recap them (finally!). See you then, and for now, adios!

The 'Idol' Top 24, Part 1: Chain of Fools

So I have failed at including "American Idol" in this blog so far (but enough so I'd be included on Failblog... :) ). I had a draft halfway (OK, that's a bit too generous, probably 1/4 of the way) done of the first Hollywood Week episode recap...and I never finished it. I doubt I offended anyone who was reading this...because as of now, there isn't anyone reading this. Go figure. Well, now I have time, motivation, and a sinus infection (or cold?) keeping me in on a Saturday night...so let's dive into my thoughts on the just-selected Top 24, which will (finally!!!) start performing on Tuesday and Wednesday. Let us bid a not-so-fond farewell to the manufactured drama, overly repetitive sob stories (oh, how Fox loves them), and not one, but TWO performances of "Bad Romance" (eek!), and get down to our "Idol" semifinalists. (Side note: I will split this recap into two, since 2 moderately-sized...well, sort of...recaps of 12 people is much better than one unreadably mammoth one of 24.)

• Crystal Bowersox (24 years old, from Toledo, OH): I didn't really know much about this tattooed mom from Ohio until I heard her beautiful, gale-force rendition of "Natural Woman" on Day 1 of Hollywood Week. She followed that pure, unadulterated goodness up with an excellent performance (that sadly, we saw only in flashbacks), using a guitar AND harmonica, of Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy" (I've never heard that song before, but this talented woman singing it sure makes ME happy). Viewers have had the chance to become well-acquainted with Crystal's high degree of talent, but will their opinions about her looks (I saw one EW comment thread dominated by ridiculously cheap remarks about her teeth) send her packing way too early? Hopefully not. Then again, these are the people that sent Latin fireball of talent Allison Iraheta to the Bottom 3 not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR times last season. (Come on, America, don't let me down again!)
• Tyler Grady (20, from Nazareth, PA): His smooth and...spicy? (OK, maybe I let that adjective run away from me there) rendition of "Let's Get It On" during his audition trumped any reservations I had about his gawky personality and the fact that he had plates in his arms from falling out a tree. (Yes, that was indeed his backstory.) His confident, soaring Hollywood Week performance of "Home," also shown in flashbacks, sealed the deal. Welcome to the semifinals, Mr. Grady. Keep the stellar vocals up and you'll be one of the first male "Idol" contestants to get my vote right from the very beginning.
• Michelle Delamor (22, from Miami, FL): Poor Michelle made like Jessica Alba in "Fantastic Four" during Hollywood Week (completely invisible)...but I've since watched her audition of "Chain of Fools" featured in a December "Idol" promo, and she's got some pipes. Whether those pipes will hold up as well in a 90-second semifinal performance as they did in a 15-second audition clip remains to be seen, but they'd better, or Michelle's first chance at screen time on Tuesday may unfortunately be her last.
• Aaron Kelly (16, from Sonestown, PA): I'm not too fond of this young guy...his audition of "The Climb" did indeed improve on Miley Cyrus's original, but as any of you who have heard Ms. Cyrus' voice can attest, it's not that hard to accomplish that. Add to that the fact that he forgot his lyrics twice during Hollywood Week (I forget my lyrics all the time, I admit, but usually I have to remember the entire song, not a snippet as was his case), and he seems like he's entering this all too early--he's not very distinctive or developed, he just sings somewhat well, and that's it. He may grow on me during the semifinals, but for now, he's just aight for me, dawg. (Oh gosh, I slipped into Randy-speak. You have permission to shoot me.)
• Ashley Rodriguez (22, from Chelsea, MA): I was a solid fan of her self-assured audition performance of "If I Ain't Got You" (does that song ever get old when done well? I thinketh not), but the pale imitation of "Battlefield" she gave during Hollywood Week displayed a lack of imagination and creativity (and of truly versatile vocals). She's good, but not great. If she steps it up in the semifinals, I'll consider becoming a fan, but right now, I think she's not quite ready to be an "Idol" frontrunner.
• Todrick Hall (24, from Arlington, TX): His personality bugged the heck out of me in the Group Rounds (he was part of one of the obnoxious-beyond-all-reason groups that made the stupid choice of doing Lady Gaga a cappella), and his Wednesday night clips sure as heck weren't much better...but then came his performance of "I'm Yours," a song which I've never truly loved. It could have been just that he followed two lackluster versions (even Michael Lynche, below, who I like, kind of fumbled it), or maybe I was out of it, but his rendition was creative, unique, and...really good. He used melismas and runs all over the place, but they were constructive (wouldn't it be something if EVERY contestant did that?), and his personality was a nice balance of bubbly and non-diva-esque. Did he actually notice what he was doing right? My money says he didn't, but if he keeps up this winning formula, I just may find a place in my Idol-watching heart for Todrick, even if I wouldn't want to hear him do anything but sing. (Sorry, his personality still isn't my cup of tea, folks.)
• Janell Wheeler (24, from Tampa, FL): They only showed a small sampling of "House of the Rising Sun" (her audition number), and I wasn't completely sold on it, but her Hollywood rendition of "American Boy" was dang good...so good, I didn't even recognize it as the same song (a VERY good thing, trust me :) ). Her second Hollywood Week solo, "Love Story," was much less of a success, however...usually it's good when you evoke the original artist, but not when said original artist in this case happens to be the fragile-voiced Taylor Swift. This inconsistency so far leaves me undecided about Janell--only the semifinals will tell whether she's worthy of my vote.
• John Park (21, from Evanston, IL): Concise attack! (Sort of.) His audition was very good, I thought (even with Shania Twain's "He has a great bottom end" remarks getting awkwardly misinterpreted...she was talking about his VOICE, people!), but his Hollywood footage was nowhere to be found. Jury's still out on him...and sadly, it will take a whirlwind semifinal performance on Wednesday to get in the hearts of the notoriously fickle "Idol" voters.
• Siobhan Magnus (20, from Marstons Mills, MA): Wasn't too familiar with her until I saw both Kara and Ellen's panning of her droll Hollywood Week debut, and then her fiery final Hollywood solo (which I admit, I loved) of "Living On A City." She's certainly got a powerful voice...but can she channel it into semifinal success, and even more importantly, can she strike the balance enough been quirky/individualistic and likable enough to please all/most of the American viewing public?
• Tim Urban (20, from Duncanville, TX): His lackluster voice has yet to impress me, his personality is almost nonexistent, and he only made the semifinals because of another's disqualification. Three strikes...and you're hopefully out. (Had to be truly concise somewhere. :) )
• Lacey Brown (24, from Amarillo, TX): Unlike many viewers (I suspect), I am happy that Megan Joy beat out this talented songstress last season in the "Mansion of Death" episode. (Viva la Megan Joy!) Conversely, I think quite a few viewers share my current view...I'm abundantly glad she's in the Top 24. Her voice is jazzy and smooth with an appealing (for the most part) twang, and the fact that she's picked two standards so far ("Over The Rainbow" and "What A Wonderful World") is a huge plus. The former, her audition song, was a bit breathy, but the latter (Hollywood Week) was truly mesmerizing. I really like what she's done so far, and I hope she keeps it up.
• Casey James (27, from Fort Worth, TX): He's like a boomerang of quality...Casey has gone from lame audition (complete with Kara and Posh Spice inexplicably asking him to take off his shirt), to pretty dang good Hollywood debut (blues guitar and assured vocals! double whammy!), to a crash and burn of a Hollywood final solo, "Bubbly." I'm afraid he's rather expendable (in my eyes) at this point...after all, it's "American Idol," not "Blues Guitar Master With Little To No Personality or Spark Idol."

And there you have it, the first half of the 24 semifinalists. The next 12 coming at you posthaste.

Idol Auditions, Day 1: Boston, Mass! 0-2-1-3-4...

(Why yes, I did title this blog post with a "Zoom" reference. I dearly miss that show...especially Caroline. :) ) Hey, anyone who possibly reads this blog...AKA pretty much no one...SOMEDAY I shall actually recap a whole season. I seem to be afflicted with the same disease that Professor Calamitous is on "Jimmy Neutron," due to the fact that as far as this blog goes, I cannot finish anything. Hopefully, that will change this time, where I will guide you folks (someone...anyone?!?!) through the exciting ninth season of..."American Idol"! And with that incredibly rambly introduction, I dive into my recap.


(For the sake of some semblance of organization...yay, accidental alliteration...twice!...I will try to organize this into the Good, Bad, and the Judges. The fact that I just put the Judges where the Ugly normally goes may or may not be significant, depending on how they do this season...)


The Good...

• Holy Jennifer Hirsh! She is my favorite finalist by far, which a love that just may (sniff, sniff...) surpass that of last season's feisty, delicious (with a terrific album now out, Brandon not-so-subtly advertised) Allison Iraheta. OK, maybe it's a tie...I can never decide between people in these situations...but anyhow, Jennifer's audition (at least the 30 seconds they showed of it) was singularly brilliant. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that scat-fueled jazz music and "American Idol" would meet without the Apocalypse occurring or a horrible trainwreck happening, but dear Ms. Hirsh has proved me wrong. Her version of "Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead" was fast, furious, on pitch, and unendingly confident, and gave me hope that a jazz singer could actually go somewhere in this competition. (Megan Joy was close, but people hated her and her live performances after "Rockin' Robin" were somewhat ungainly. Still, fingers crossed for a CD! I love her.) I have to stop my gushing before you all get bored, but really...for the love of Ellen DeGeneres, let her get to the semifinals so I can vote for her like it's going out of style (which jazz is NOT, haters)! (Side note: She's put out a CD...don't worry, it was independently, so we don't have another Joanna Pacitti on our hands...and the tracks I've heard are gorgeous. Hmmm, I should find something bad to say about her to at least try to be objective...ooh, I know, she could have worn something modest. There. That works. :) )
• There were other people I really liked too. I promise. (But no one as much as Jennifer.) Case in point: Tyler Grady. I was expecting the long-locked young man with screws in his arms (he fell out of a tree...nice) to be somewhat obnoxious. (After all, another blonde-ish guy with long hair went a few auditions before him, rambled on about his ability to "touch America" with his voice...ewww....and promptly was very underwhelming. ) Thankfully, I was wrong...his version of "Let's Get It On" was pretty dang good. He has a smooth, simple, and soulful (oh, you know I love my alliterations, people) tone that's not too in your face, but still packs a punch. I'm hoping this kid goes far, it's about time there was a guy in the finals I actually could truly root for. (Kris doesn't count, I only started voting for him because Allison left--well, he was great, I just loved Allison more.)
• I've become slightly cynical about "Idol" sob stories, mainly because they always seem to be superficial and manipulative, or the singer turns out to be bad, or even worse, Danny Gokey. (Or even worse than that, "It's Only" by Danny Gokey.) But the package that accompanied sweet 16-year-old Katie Stevens was tender without beating me over the head...her grandma speaks Portugese, awww! And her pipes...wow. The only thing I noticed about her smoky, subtly powerful audition (where she sang the notoriously difficult-to-nuance "At Last") that I didn't really like were the numerous runs she threw in. Katie, your voice is amazing...don't do a Matt Giraud and sell it short with too many pop affectations. That said...go, Katie! She could rather easily go far in the competition.
• Oh, and she's 16. Also in the teenage-wonder department...the shy but excellent Maddy Curtis, the 9th child of 12 in a family with 3 (completely endearing) Down Syndrome-inflicted brothers. She was nervous as all get out, and she's very soft-spoken as well...but that's probably why I liked her quite a bit. Those are problems I deal with myself on a regular basis performing and going through life, and I really identified with them--and hopefully a lot of others will. As for her performance of "Hallelujah," it went a little flat at the chorus, and her phrasing was a bit too formal in spots, but otherwise was tender, emotional, and beautiful. Maddy just needs to keep working on the nerves and perfect her gift a bit, so she doesn't fall in danger of a Hollywood Week flame-out.
• The lovely and supremely talented Jennifer Hirsh may have wowed me with red-hot scatting, but the jazziness in the Boston auditions didn't end there. Leah Laurenti's sultry, lovely version of "Blue Skies" was reminiscent of the aforementioned Megan Joy, but with (sorry, I still love you, MJ!) vastly better pitch and vocal control. It was a fiery way to end the night, and it really caught my eye...or rather, my ears. There were a few tiny bumps in the road, but otherwise...welcome to Hollywood, Leah Laurenti. May you make it very, very far...and like Kara said (gosh, I'm referencing Kara?!?!), you DO need to know you're good. Because you sure as Helsinki are.
• Honorable Mentions (this might force me to be concise!): Justin Williams, the charming LDS guy who recovered from cancer (at first I was taken aback when he called it an "interesting" experience, then realized he was probably looking at the positive...), with his pleasant, smooth version of "Feeling Good", and Bosa Mora, whose mother should get a show all to herself with her beyond excellent hat and traditional attire, who has a nice voice but all too easily could get lost in the shuffle.

Now, the bad...yay, I can get my snark on! (Sort of, anyhow.)

• There were a few people sent through to Hollywood that kind of underwhelmed. Luke Shaffer came off as a bland, poor-man's whiny-rock singer, with his version of the teenage girls' favorite "Fall For You" doing even worse than the lamentable Secondhand Serenade original. Joshua Blaylock was a nice enough guy...as with Maddy, I really identified with his shy, non-assertive nature...but his take on "Bless The Broken Road" was flat and tried too hard to be Rascal Flatts. He put no original spin on the song, and it took a toll on his performance quite heavily. (And Simon's near-excruciating quest to get Joshua some assertiveness was painful, rather than helpful. It was almost hard to watch.) Amadeo DiRicco was unfailingly charming...and the down-home Italian family dinner shown in his intro package caused me to both salivate and smile...but his performance was scandalously devoid of notes, and when pitch decided to actually show up, it was rather off. And although she only got about 20 seconds of screen time, for some reason Jess Wolfe's muscular version of "People Get Ready" rubbed me a bit the wrong way. She wasn't completely off, though, and it showed a bit of promise. Still, I'm afraid she's rather expendable at this point.
• The more atrocious bunch...those folks who just were BAD...well, I'll try to keep this short, to reduce the risk of heartburn and upset stomach. Andrew Fenlon...oh my, what can I say about him? He was ultra-disturbing, and Kara was right on with her "I don't like you. At all" assessment (then she went typically south with an inexplicably awkward "You need a spanking!" comment). I was surprised to find his voice was actually not too bad. But his incredibly abrasive interaction with the judges killed any love I may have had for it. I think that's probably the only awkward auditioner I'll comment on...I will say that I had to turn the channel twice. Like Rex from Toy Story, "I don't like confrontations!" Especially when they involve pleading and begging on one side, and a haughty British accent on the other.

And to close things out...the JUDGES...

• Simon wasn't too bad in Boston. It was almost like a return to his good-judging roots...he displayed a nice balance of "dreadful" barbs and softie moments. Still, he had a few "cruise ship" moments...his last-minute symbolic yes vote to the creepy Andrew was pointless, for example. Well, baby steps, baby steps...
• Pretty much like always, Kara was a mixed bag. She alternated between "fun judge full of useful critiques and interesting sound bites" and "crazy, annoying dead weight who doesn't know what the heck she's talking about." Her aforementioned exchange with Andrew was a microcosm of these two elements...I started off thinking, "you go, girl!" and ended up thinking, "you GO, girl. Now. Please." OK, maybe that's not exactly what I was thinking...but c'mon, Kara, you're supposed to IMPROVE on last season...not get significantly worse.
• Randy...can I just say "no" and have him go away? Please?!?!? OK, I will say...he was just as pointless and idiotic as usual. What did he have to add? He didn't even offer any memorable moments (at least Kara threatened to spank someone...wow, I never thought I would be using that as a positive example...). I propose Randy change his name to Simon Cowell. Then HE can leave after this season, and there will be joy in the world.
• Victoria Beckham, AKA Posh Spice, was a serviceable guest judge, albeit a little too focused on fashion and overall appearance ("you have a nice look"). Still, I will say Posh did a great deal towards humanizing herself. She was warm, engaged, and at many times charming. I came into the episode expecting her to be something of an ice queen...but she was anything but. While she wasn't the best judge, I definitely like her much more now as a public figure. Though I do hope she eats some more, once in a while.

Well, that concludes my recap. Sorry about the rambling and lack of focus...it's hard to narrow down a 2-hour audition episode I watched 3 days ago into actual coherence. :) Once the performance episodes start, there'll be a bit more of a flow. As for now...yay for Nota for winning "The Sing-Off"! (Had to slip that in somewhere.) Adios!